When this is all over I hope you find the courage to forgive yourself.

For the late nights spent trying to force the water back inside - we so easily forget the beauty of waterfalls,

For the bad decisions,

For the times you said yes when you wanted to say no,

And the times you shouted no before even considering yes.

For the friends you forgot to be there for,

Or the ones you let go of - their baggage is not your responsibility.

And lastly for the people who left you without warning,

I hope you remember that those who left did not take a piece of you with them - you are still whole.

When this is all over I hope you find the strength to move on.

To let the shadows continue to stay behind you,

And to remember trees shed their leaves to prepare for change - but leafless or not they still stand strong.

I hope moving on reminds you that you are not the one in charge of everyone’s happiness,

Except yours - move towards it whatever direction it takes you.

When this is all over I hope you find compassion.

To really listen when people talk,

And acknowledge their pain.

To sit in the discomfort of not knowing what comes next but still being present for whatever appears.

But mostly to show yourself respect,

And love,

And understand.

The compassion to let yourself cry,

To let yourself be vulnerable.

To forgive yourself when you were weak,

And love yourself for the parts of you that were taken.

I hope you remember who you were before but only to acknowledge how far you’ve come - never to shame yourself for the parts lost along the way.

In the end when this is all over I hope you find peace. And I hope you respect the wrong turns you took - you’re alive and I’m so so proud of you.

The journey is long but so so rewarding<3

Today I am suspended.

1004 scattered pieces.

It’s raining.

It’s strange to watch the world mourn with me.

I wonder if there will be a flood,

A combination of rain and tears washing away,

Everything.

You think we can make this work.

But

I

Don’t

Want

To.

I’m finally taking off - wings spreading.

I don’t want to land again just for you to convince me I’m scared of heights.

And don’t get me wrong,

I don’t blame you,

You never meant to pluck my feathers.

But now that I’m up here I can see just how small we were.

Today my pieces are even further.

1003 scattered pieces.

You blame me.

But how can it be my fault?

I was young.

I AM young.

I think the thing that hurts the most is your tears.

Or maybe it’s the years we spent building this home.

You say that I am like a fire,

Burning us to the ground.

But that isn’t fair!

Our foundation was never steady to begin with.

How can you blame me for the flames when you’re the one who fuelled them?

Today I am torn a little more.

1002 scattered pieces.

I wonder if deep breathes are enough.

Can I breathe my pieces back together?

If I cry enough will they all float back to me?

I wonder if I’ll feel like this forever.

Every inch of my skin shivering when I think of who we were.

But now I suppose it's time to learn how to keep myself warm.

I am torn.

1001 scattered pieces,

All over the world.

Places that we went,

Places we were supposed to go.

Flickers of memories in black and white like you’ve already left this world,

But why?

You haven’t even left MY world yet.