I like to think that

Toxicity is the color within wildflowers

First I was joyous

Then I was overwhelmed

If I was asked to describe you

I said you were passionate

You were just protective

I never said your flaws

If you described me

You talked about my mistakes

How awkward I was

No good qualities were ever spoken

The sad thing was

I believed you

I trusted you

And you treated me like a prisoner

We would fight every day

And I always broke first

Scared that you’d leave

And I’d end up alone

You used my fear

Manipulating me until I cracked

I couldn’t stand you constantly

Saying no one would ever care about me

I was on a ledge

Looking down at oblivion

With you encouraging it

When she talked me down

Wildflowers are tainted

With toxicity

But she tainted them

With sunshine on a cloudy day

Now I flinch, frightened for my life

When my subconscious awakens at night

While she stays by my side

Reminding me how safe I am without you

Sometimes I wonder

What would happen

If my life ended

With oblivion consuming me

I think it’s a good thing

I decided to walk away

After all

This flower has grown so much

I’m able to talk

Without being judged

I’m able to trip

Able to make mistakes

Wildflowers are greatly overlooked

They are everywhere

But we don’t always notice

Some of them can be beautiful

A field of daisies can send me into a daze

With the sun shining down

Highlighting how happy I am

Now that she leached the wildflowers of their toxicity

At one point I thought that love

Was a complete sham

Now I think about her love

And wonder how I ever thought it was fake

Emotional wounds never heal

I’ve been beaten down

Almost to death

By your knife

I’m not even worried by my injury anymore

I’m furious

You tell me anything

Anything to make me cry

Anything to make me feel worthless

And I come back every time

Expecting you to change

But you never do

And I don’t know when you crossed the line

But somehow along the way

You did

The line where

I really don’t give a shit

Whether you disappear from my life

Or not

Dear Diary,

    I don't know what's happening. This morning I was driving to work listening to music, and then on the way home my classical was interrupted by a broadcast. "Stay home. They streets are being overrun by zombies. I repeat, zombies. I know this sounds crazy but I promise you, if you don't lock those doors, you won't even live long enough to regret your choice. Now, Its time to save myself instead of you idiots." Mozart comes back on, leaving me shaking. Why would they do that? I went straight home and locked my doors obviously. Just in case. But every hour or so I peak out of my windows and see nothing out of the usually. Maybe it's a prank, and I've made a fool of myself. If that was the case, I'd be so happy. Wait a second. I should be checking my window right about now. I just heard a noise, so I'm a bit cautious, but it's most likely nothing.

        IT'S NOT NOTHING! I looked outside and there was my neighbor Phil, looking like a reject from The Walking Dead. I'm actually shaking. Oh my God. I was a normal girl, went to school, was a Junior, in band, had a family. Wait, where is my family? I've been so scared I've actually forgotten about them. Okay, I shouldn't panic, if something happened, someone would have called me. Right? I'm so nervous, I don't know what to do. Do I sleep? Do I kill zombies? This is actually confusing. I have has suicidal thoughts in the past, but now confronted by these things, I'm more angry than craving death. These guys think they can just waltz around, eating brains? Nah son, they have to die. I'm going to find my family, and then its going to be one on one with some zombies.