Are you there God,

Are you listening

Can you hear my pleading, my wants, my wishes?

If you are real, can you save me - from the torments that haunt and plague me? From the nightmares and the fits,

I’m sure it is - now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake - just then maybe you can save me from my next unforgivable mistake.

My dear God, I hope you find me now and maybe take me back somehow.

Your fallen Angel, trite and true . . . Just trying to find my lonely way back to you.

Forever and ever, Amen.

My husband,

He is starving.

There is nothing I can do to fix it.

So . . .

I guess I'll starve with him.

. . . . . . .

Sometimes - just sometimes - you have to make a point to prove one.

There is; Unconditional Love,

However fucked up it may be.

“Hey Baby,” you say and stroke my arm.

You nod, flashing that quick grin that only you can.

I blush internally or sigh and shrug, and look down at the ground.

I picture you strumming that guitar. I picture your arm around my neck. I picture you whipping me with that belt.

How I picture. I picture. I picture.

My God, did we make a mess of this.

And the truth is, our affair was real . . . but our ideals, our expectations, our naivete - what we imagined, pretended we could have - well baby, that was a lie.

And oh, how we knew it. We said it. We knew it from the start.

But God damn, it was a nice idea. A nice thought. A real pipe-dream.

It was a picture perfect lie.

I packed my bags to run away with you.

Two lost souls; two vagabonds on a mission to live a life of defiance. A life beyond confines.

And just if we could have done it, that lie would have been beautiful. Exquisite even.

Of course we didn’t, we couldn’t.

But I must say, it really was and forever will be . . . a picture perfect lie.

Ah, that great expanse, so calm, so relaxing. The ripples trickle across the top of that icy dark liquid, the entirety of it illuminated by the moon so high in the night sky. Take a deep breath and exhale. Life is now and you find peace as you realize that those chilled depths are you and you are they, because you . . . you are fluid. Such beautiful fluid.