An ode to inconsistencies
The expanse of a writer’s mind is unfathomable. It stretches so vast it cannot be even quarterly explored in this short lifetime. So what comes out as written word is even smaller, much smaller amount.
I always wonder about the thoughts many authors failed to get out and I fear about the thought I am going to miss expressing. I have so much to say, so many secrets to spill but it doesn’t help that my mind has always been a jumbled mess.
A bit like my personality in fact, now that I’m brought to think about it. I feel like a mesh of different people and their personalities and I leave gravestones with their names behind me as I grow.
I started writing to understand myself because my parents have never been ones to give an adequate answer. A more cynical part of me might even call them slaves to normality; they destroy parts of themselves society doesn’t accept and without remorse either. Can we call it brainwashing? We have always been told to mold into societal norm after all.
When I read old stories and writing of mine I find pieces of a person I no longer am because the familiar scratchy handwriting seems to have words that do not seem to belong to me.
Writers die so many time in their lifetimes but so do people in general. We change so drastically in a matter of years. The world never stops and we don’t either. I’m already a little different from the person who started writing this random stream of thoughts in hopes of finding a pearl of lucidity, older and maybe someone with more clarity.
Evolution is just a series of changes after all whether we consider evolving as a person or on a much vast scale, as a species. There is no one who can resist change. It is as constant as time itself. Growth never stops. Even this piece of writing has grown in a matter of minutes. So why fight change when it is but inevitable.
There’s no excitement when it comes to consistency. Except when baking a cake, please don’t tamper with the amount of ingredients I’d like it just the way as written in the recipe.