Rest easy
Can we see the stars one more time
Can I feel your hand in mine
Brush your hair behind your ear
Wipe your cheek to get rid of the tears
I’m holding my breath in the life we live
It’s getting harder to move and harder to give
I want to keep the smile on my face
But you make it hard to stay the same
I can still remember the thoughts I’ve seen
To grip the steering wheel and pull it off the street
Still more thoughts clouding my mind
Like the rope wrapped around my neck... one more time
The wrong questions are being asked nowadays
How can I go on?
Will that fall kill me?
How long can I hold my breath?
I know these aren’t the words I should say
To be alone is to feel nothing at all
No more feeling my daughter crawl
Waking up in the middle of the night without sleep
Staring at the pink pacifier lying next to me where she would be
The empty bed still feels like home
This is how it’s been all along
I’ve wasted so many days doing nothing at all
Coming home to sleep and dream of my fall
When I wake up it’s like everything is dull
There’s not a word to describe it except null
One more dance, one more kiss, one more time to hold you close to me
Call me honey, call me your sweet boy, call me when you cry
Hate is too strong of a word for everything that’s been done
I am weak at my knees and yet I still admit you were the one
Take the hot water, let’s fall asleep at 6:00 when I get home
Anything to avoid the argument that would leave me alone
Dark ceilings, loud music, this is what goes on in my life
Cold liquor, no sleep, wonder what’s on the agenda tonight
The sandman pounds my eyes with his magical sand
If you can get me to sleep I hope the next day you can again
I didn’t look for anything and then I found you
It made sense to me and finally I had a clue
Love isn’t blind you can find it if you try
Love isn’t hard you can keep it.. your whole life
- C.W.
Delicate
I've never been one to quit
I don't like taking anyone for granted
Humble as I am hesitant I am not
I've hit the ground and fallen a lot
Landed on my face and still I crawl
Searching for the answer through it all
The light begins to fade yet I still see the end
Believing this is just another dream with my friend
Death and life
A wonderful strife
Ended with the knife
More than one way
To take the pain
An endless slumber as I hang
Emotionless I contemplate
Am I worth it to be your soul mate
I am nothing but a man
Who's eyes are on a bigger plan
Now I feel like I am drowning in my hate
But I'm just so soft and fucking delicate
I'm close to the edge ready to break
Broken heart shattered scars may be too late
No repairing just remembering that I rectify my mistake
Hold my bearing break my borders and deviate
Cut the ties of the lies and take the truth to town
Slip my soul and take my cold savoring the sanctuary of solitude to drown
Can I have a moment to explain what I made?
Throw my life and quit my words stop me like a grenade
I know down inside you truly don't give a shit
But my body is so fragile and my heart is delicate
- C.W.
Death
I remember when you used to love me
It was my chest your head was on to hear my heartbeat
It was my fingers locked with yours
And I had the key to all the doors
You said you were in the moment
You know you could've owned it
My chest hurts every single day
I wish death could take the pain away
A curse I don't wish on my worst enemy
An undying love for the one without feeling
You stole my heart and took my breath with one kiss
Under the oath of god I swore and your love I will miss
I'm a carefree soul I can't help it
I'm a dedicated hopeless romantic
Another day in and the ache is here again
This isn't life.. this is Death Without Pain
- C.W.
Drink up
I just want to feel happy
I want to feel safe
I need you here
You're my escape
I don't understand what I should do
I'm always caught back loving you
Being confused has a whole new meaning
When you walk away my heart stops beating
Cascade through my soul you see my heart isn't there
If you look down in the palm of your hand you'll see why I care
I've lost my mind so many times
But I still find myself doing what I think is right
I've lost my way I'm out of touch
I need this day it's just not enough
My heartbeat doesn't make a sound
You've got me spinning like a merry go round
I'll always carry on my face this frown
When I used to wear a crown
I just wish I could drown
Jack save me, Jim be my hero
Captain make me forget what happened long ago
I need my Bud or a touch of miller
Something to make me drunk quicker
I just want to stop feeling alone
Please give me a fill of patron
Listen to all the things I've said
I just want to drink you dead
Bury me
Take a shovel and take some sticks
Dig a hole and make a cross with it
Good morning I smell the havoc
But I'm not done with this shit
I'm breaking down like a little bitch
Falling higher than the Empire State Building
I contemplate if this life is worth living
I ask my past self is the match worth burning
I still feel the real deal spinning the wheel of fortune
Kicking my ass while I'm down pending my own doom
Broken and scared I build my walls of my safe room
I couldn't care less what others think of me too
All I know is stepping on my face is all you can do
Whatever happened to being sweet?
Now you bring it back and you come off as mean
I see what you see I breathe what you breathe
Not anymore the dirt is being poured so bury me
Caving in I feel my family start to get disappointed
This is the rule I try to break to null and void it
I captivate the minds around me making them dumbfounded
You don't know how it
Happens this way
No one knows what to say
When the pain won't go away
It gets worse everyday
And I feel my time slip away
You can't tell me how to live my life
Cut it off like the sharpness of a knife
This year I've lost more than my wife
I want to run away and hide
Feel my heart break the pride
Still I'm stuck here wondering why
When the time flies
And my eyes cry
I'm still lost with the cost of my time I'll never get back
I'm supposed to be the boss but got double crossed feeling the attack
Like a captain on the ship call it mutiny
Throw me in the casket and bury me
Change
As a man I have to admit
It's hard to stop and hard to quit
Any habits I have are difficult to let go
It's probably more than you will ever know
Let me just take a quick second
I'll explain myself to you
I've made some adjustments
Some would say I'm brand new
The words I used to say
Those hurtful things that came from my mouth
They'll never cross my lips again
I put my words on time out
Ignoring you or doing things other than with you
That's subject to change as well
I'm not the same man and I know what I want to do
If it's me you'll be with it won't be hell
No more saying "I don't feel like it" this time
If you want to see the world then I'll stand by your side
I'll hold your hand
Go to places we've never been
Scout places and see new sights
As long as you are mine
We will do things we never did before
Go to different locations to explore
I don't want to argue
I don't want to fight
I want to be with you
And make things alright
If you want to get all the hot water
Then I promise I won't bother
So long as you and I are together
Nothing else really matters
If you want to go to bed early
I'll kiss you and say don't worry
Early fall early rise
Makes a man healthy and wise
A lot of things are going through my mind in my brain
Just know that loving you and being with you I'm subject.. to change
Welcome to the new me
You'll find things you've never seen
A polite side with a gentlemans attitude
No more acting like a kid so rude
Give my new heart a chance and you'll see
I'm right where I need both of us to be
I love you Amber
Come back to me
-C.W.
Nice guys?
I can't help but to hear
The question ringing in my ear
Women ask it all the time
But don't want to read the rhyme
Do nice guys finish last?
I'll lay down the answer real fast
Why should we even enter the race?
I hope you kiss him and it's her lips you taste
I try to be the best I can
But you don't see the man I am
You just want what's gold and shining
But the true angel lends you the shoulder for crying
I break my back every time you need help
It's my fault, partially, for going through this hell
Take back what did you wrong
This time I won't wait so long
Ever heard of a booty call?
When you want some release and that's all?
Well you treat me like a community friend
Come to me with your problems and then
Ask me what I think of the guy
But you get mad and all I ask is why
Stop crying about getting hurt again
When it happens twice I won't be your friend
I'll break the silence real quick
Like I want to break his neck
To all the girls who seem to think we aren't here
Nice guys are right under your nose but your vision isn't clear
Take these words as an act of sentiment
I mean you the best.. signed The Gentleman
-C.W.
Catastrophic
You know my name not my story
But what's really more important
Letting me go has taken its toll
Not on you but in my soul
I'm ready for my coffin
Lock it
Lose the key
It's my time to leave
An unending curse is on me
The reaper is all I see
Before you shut the door
Cause you can't take it anymore
Remember who fought to settle the score
You aren't here with me
My eyes have gone blind
I'm running out of time
I can't escape my mind
Your eyes still haunt me
Am I worth saving?
Your love is what I'm craving
It might seem crazy
But you're the only one for me
And now you've pushed me outside
I can feel my mind going in a blitz
A ticking clock that sounds like this
Tick tock tick tock tick
It's stopped and ignorance is bliss
Should've realized you were catastrophic
I kiss your cheek
To feel my heartbeat
You light a fire in me
One no one else sees
Words killing me softly
I draw pictures with the ceiling
It makes me lose all feeling
To make my own story looking up
I see real life just wasn't good enough
So I'll make my own happy ending
With the fairytale, princess, and dragon
I'll be the knight with the sword and shield
But I'm not rescuing you from what I fear
All these feelings make me sick
You're so catastrophic..
Day Five
Restless nights
Tiring days
Falling apart
In my ways
Drifting, or pulling
I won't know
Not until May 5th
When your decision shows
Countless nights spent wide awake
Take this pain away for heavens sake
I love you I need you I don't want this to end
Take us back to our lives let's start over again
I lay my head down to rest
Waiting for you is the ultimate test
I cannot begin to comprehend
Letting you slip away again
7 days left in this choice
Whether or not I get to be yours
Matters so much more
Than you'll ever know or
Now I feel dead inside
I never feel alive
I just wanna run away and hide
But my thoughts coincide
And like a child I begin to cry
I'll tell you why
Your love is fading and I sigh
I keep it all bottled up, my pride
Never forget how hard I tried
Like the snake with the prey he finds
I just need you by my side
You're in the shotgun seat when we ride
Now it's like you left me behind
Keep in mind
This is Day Five...
-C.W
Day Four
I write when I'm upset
That's all the time now
Even when I need rest
I can't sleep unless I hear your voice
I can't live this life knowing I'm not yours
I miss holding your hand and kissing your cheek
I love when you get mad but not too angry
Mainly, it's because you're cute when you're mad
Exactly, just like looking at a two year old and I'm glad
Passionately, I'll kiss you so that mad doesn't turn to sad
Emotionally, I'll hold you through the good times and bad
The three words I swore to you
Never bore a burden only told the truth
I only want to make our love anew
Three years have passed since we started this journey
Living with you and giving birth to our sweet baby
Fighting and making up makes our hearts more lovely
Loose lips sink ships
But I know this
Close yours and give me a kiss
Do this and our problems will be fixed
Step into my shoes, do a little switch
You'll know how much the pain in my heart makes me itch
I shouldn't have let you walk through that door
None of that matters anymore
You're the one I want to adore
I never sleep my body stays sore
My heart aches with a pain I can't ignore
But I keep my head up and don't give up before...
I realize.. this is Day Four..
-C.W