Last days

Last Days

"You have a month to live, said the doctor.

To the core that news definitely shocked her.

Body got numb and began to tremble.

So, the first thing she did was go to temple.

Begged God for just some more days,

to live longer, was frantically searching for a way.

Just like this, five days passed, then eight.

Realized, doesn't have the power to change fate.

Regretted whining over something inevitable,

rather then making her last days here memorable.

In the next 20 days she lived like never before,

and she wasn't afraid of death anymore.

Not the number of followers but her blessings she counted.

Not gadgets, but with books she was surrounded.

Not disco lights but twinkling stars became her buddies.

Not pills, stress-reliever became playing with puppies.

Not movie night, now watching sunrise gave her peace.

Not money but happiness was with family, watching movies.

Not pubs but now temples became her safe space.

Not criticizing, her flaws she started to embrace.

After living these 20 precious days she was smiling,

now from her death she certainly was not hiding.

In fact to be closer to god she was immensely excited,

and was just very grateful for all things he provided.

Today, I shall live

We are just here for a little while,

why not laugh, jump and smile.

All day planning about the future,

who knows, maybe we'll die sooner.

Are you sure there's a tomorrow,

what if this is the last day of all the sorrow.

Maybe your time on earth finishes today,

maybe tomorrow you won't exist and will go away.

Your pre-planned life till 80 would be a waste.

All the dishes untouched that you wanted to taste.

'Gone too soon' written near your coffin,

pondering from above, 'my life didn't even begin'.

Always waited for tomorrow.

Now wishing for just one day to borrow.

Thinking, I would have done all the things I loved,

wouldn't have wasted energy on those who judged.

Would kiss my parents and my partner,

for in front of them I was never a stranger.

They knew me inside and out, carried me on their shoulders throughout.

Never made me feel alone in any situation,

to make me achieve my goals, they had more determination.

How can I leave them alone now,

me going miles away, you think they'll allow?

Wanted to be my parents' support,

for them I always wanted to create a fort.

Wanted to be my partner's strength,

didn't even reach half a life span's length.

Didn't live a memorable life, maybe I was too focused to survive.

There's no tomorrow,

now I very well know.

Please give me just 24 hours this time, and in that time I'll surely live a lifetime.

A dream or a sign?

Would you be willing to meet the younger you?"

asked a man with a glare enthralling and eyes blue.

Said, can make my past choices wiser,

sounded like the most sagacious advisor.

Was not an opportunity that could be missed,

could forgo all to give my younger self a bit of assist.

Thence, appeared in front of the 19-year-old me,

was astounding to see the little girl happy and free.

She wasn't startled at who I was but at how I looked,

was the sad and gloomy aura that had her shook.

She could see the pain in my eyes,

the pain of telling myself all those lies.

That how happy I was, doing my job,

that I never wanted to be at the top.

How living every day does not hurt to the core,

how it's very easy to get some sleep before 4:00.

How seeing my wasted potential, heart doesn't sink, how it's never tempting to get high and drink.

In that pin drop silence, no words exchanged.

Little girl just kept staring, all contained.

No explaining no hearing, just eyes spoke.

The fear became very real, no joke.

She very much understood what not to do,

that woman was nowhere near the plan she drew.

Sigh of relief after grasping, it was just a dream.

Maybe not, but too scared to find out it seems.

Energy

Waking up and feeling your presence.

Dear God, I'm grateful for your presents.

Whether thorns or flowers, I'll accept with gratitude,

will land in your arms after slipping from high altitude.

Bowing, surrendering everything to you.

All is part of your plan, you've thought it through.

Don't believe in luck but you I believe in,

have all the powers, you can end, you can begin.

We are here to live a life you think we deserve,

you not only see my actions but unsaid words you hear.

Sunflower

Taking a glimpse of the blazing sun,

first proper look, before life begins.

In the moist soil was sown yesterday,

following its strength, throughout its way.

Going in its direction from east to west,

obeying its orders, taking no rest.

The sunflower rises, blooms because of it,

for that it's ready to tolerate drought a bit.

The warm irrigated soil and the magical rays,

giving it cheery yellow petals and a large face.

Can't bloom and produce seeds well in shade,

requires the harsh weather and light, I'm afraid.

Dealing with all the problems it rises,

after the stem hardens, it becomes wiser.

It no longer follows anyone, guiding tool's no longer the sun.

It has become the source of its own strength,

Its bond with the sun was only to an extent.

Facing all the hardships just to mature,

running and hiding in shade was never the cure.

Just like in sunflowers, in our lives setbacks' essential, because of it we thrive, bloom to our full potential.

Sunflower's expected to follow source of its strength,

unaware, real strength only comes from within.

For the hot sun and muddy soil it's grateful,

likewise for the hurdles in my way, I'm grateful.

It allows us to grow into strong, beautiful individuals,

and we write our own stories, purely original.

Musing

She is sitting idle, pondering about life,

thinking the aim is not just to survive.

Trying hard to follow the theory,

'live every moment and don't worry.'

She thought doing this would be very easy,

thus judged those who were not exemplary.

But realized, like money, success doesn't grow on trees.

Have to look for new paths, opportunities to seize.

She perceived, have to work hard day and night,

bleed from her palms until she gets that thing right.

Comprehended, everyday getting up is a fight,

but watching the sunrise is also a delight.

She now understood, life treats all equally,

some have guts to accept, others beg and plead.

Now it's up to her who she wants to be,

a brave soldier or a cry baby.

Learnt, life's utterly brutal, doesn't even have a sequel.

It means there was never scope for suspense,

have a happy ending or terrible one with many amends.