Seeing as I'm too tired to write any sort of premeditated essay or think up a cliche youtube topic and holiday break starts Friday (oh thank the Lord), let's do a little something to fill that break before it even starts, shall we?

Because you all have helped me grow as a writer, I want to review something for you. Just comment down below the link of the piece and any specific things you may want me to focus on. Please try and do pieces you'll want to go back and edit or are planning to use for a comp/lit mag/school/whatever because I spend a lot of time on reviews and don't want to just review so someone gets a notification, if you know what I mean. But even if it's not for anything and you just want to improve, I'd be happy to do it. Just comment the link! :)

Lastly, this is mainly for all my wtw friends, but if any prosers want a detailed review I'd be happy to leave it in the dms!

10) ”I am but a perfect fragment of life for my mother’s friends to gawk at.” This was my first piece in anha’s highlights (hey, remember those?) and my first time experimenting with this style. This was one of the last real weeks before quarantine and having it documented like this and getting to hear feedback on it means the world. It was seeing traction continuously, too, straight up to when I unpublished it.

9) The second of my more nonfiction-y helpful posts, ”I don’t care if school is over, educate youself.” Lots of great dialogue added in the comments, and that’s always my favorite thing to see.

8) Ah, yes. The wave-starting, ever present "My best friend Riley gets sad sometimes." If I'm telling you the truth, I wasn't crazy about this one, and I'm still not. But what I am crazy about is the nearly 25+ works it inspired across wtw--now THAT felt insane.

7) The Harper Lee poem that started it all: "I do not like the word 'dead' but that is what you are." From the satellites era, very obviously seen when it's read, but by far the best of that time.

6) Can you believe I turned this in? Yeah, me neither, but the (dare I say) most well known art teachers on wtw finally got her assignment, though I don't think "another artistic statement so again i shall bleed" was really what she was looking for. Oh well, the sculptures long broken anyway. *sighs*

5) Written from my Outer Banks bedroom (where they took me end of season and I loved it so much), "in fall we break." Those opening lines had been floating around for what felt like ages and I was so glad to finally have something to put them with. This was not only my formal return to poems on wtw, but also the best vacation souvenir I've got (though my jars of shells are pretty darn cool).

4) One of my most popular pieces and something I've had to refrain from putting back on wtw-- "the brightest purple girls," or, my letter to Harper Lee. I don't ever like to say I wish I'd won something, but God, I so wish this would've at least gotten an honorable mention (and I tbh really wish Jun Lei's would have won because that one was perfection). Even so, something I was proud of.

3) "Sid, to read on the way to your sister." This one was a ride, I'll tell you that. I didn't ever think I'd post it, much less send it places. To Sid (who doesn't read this, but idc), if my writing's this good when you travel, imagine how great it'd be if you *ahem* took me with you. Kidding, kidding, but #3 felt like a comfy spot for this.

2) This may seem silly or shallow (and I won’t say it isn’t) but having ”Plagiarism, Citations, and other fun things you may have forgotten in English Class” reach the position of most-liked piece on wtw is something I consider one of my greatest writing accomplishments. I definitely wrote that out of a direct need I saw, but was hesitant to post it (sweet, sweet little uncontroversial Riley...lol). I’m so thankful for a few writers who helped convinced me! I had no idea what it would turn into. :)

1) And here we are. The best of the best. The top. And maybe we’re expecting this, maybe you saw it coming all along, but by far the thing I was proudest of this year had to be ”Burning Things like Trucks and my White Privilege.” It was edgy. It was new for me, style-wise. It was new for me topic-wise, and you guys responded to it with such personal stories and that made it all the better. All your life you get told your words can change the world--I don’t think this piece even got close to doing that. But as cheesy as it sounds, it’s the one that made me believe that maybe someday I could.

Honorable Mentions:

"a history of growing up"

"i make her nurseries and my body tears them down"

"mrs. l asked us to write an artistic statement so i came up with this"

"these are the homes we've forgotten get lived in"

Comment down below how you discovered my writing and I'll reciprocate lol--if I've known you long enough maybe you'll get a top ten of your own.

Thank you all for this whirlwind year. I wouldn't be where I am without you <3 All my love and all the best to you--

xx, Riley

Quick disclaimer: this is in no way me trying to brag! I’d be doing this anyway in my journal but since this series is kind of turning into me just journaling to you, I figured I’d just give it a go here. I loe and treasure all the growth I’ve had this year and none of that would be possible without you guys, so this is merely a recap for me to look back on someday and sigh.

Most of these pieces are not currently published. If you’d like to see one just ask! Tomorrow is throwback thursday after all :)

20) The worst of the best. The best of the worst. The smartest guy on the football team. The tallest dwarf. ”Satellites,” one of the very first of my actually good poems. It had structure and read like it was written for an English class assignment. At this point, I was trying to master technical skill so I could find style. This was one of those, and this really skyrocketed my stylistic evolution.

19) Getting an honorable mention in the one and only N.’s contest was something I was really proud of for a really long time. The piece that got me there? The first of my many Gatsby inspired ones, ”forgive me daisy, for i have sinned.”

18) ”humans” was the first piece I wrote specifically to be spoken word. I even started to animate it...but kind of maybe quit a little bit. Oh well.

17) “but what if i don’t think everyone’s an artist?” is the piece that made my Write the World account go boom. It nearly tripled my audience every time I reposted it. I look back now and cringe, but it can’t have been as bad as I make it out to be.

16) ”yes sir yes sir yes sir we should be ashamed.” I thought I had something with this one, I really did. And in a sense, I was right. This piece held...a lot of firsts for me, and at the time I genuinely thought it would be my peak. I had a hard time writing anything else after it, and kept feeling like I had to top myself, which is actually a pretty common thing for me. Anyway, first wtw comp entry, first poem about a controversial issue, first time really playing with format...maybe it’s just up here for the nostalgia value but I was pretty dang proud.

15) I still can’t decide if I think Sena placed me first for this in her comp just because she’s one of my best friends or not, but it reads like “satellites” does. Clean. Pretty. ”and in the wake of tragedy she learns again to feel” for 15 :)

14) ”melinda to boo” was a major stylistic breakthrough for me, and was inspired by a real person. Not the most interesting read, but it was like a seed, and everything after it started to flourish a bit more.

13) ”compilations.” I go back and read this and it feels like a knock off Dodie song, but in a kind of good way. It’s warm, but I don’t think many people got the premise of it, so in that respect, it might have been a fail.

12) ”i wonder if anyone ever used ‘jesus wept’ as their confirmation verse--i wonder what their mother thought”--an ode to my ex best friend on her birthday. I still read this one and can feel every emotion I poured out when I wrote it. And I know that’s likely just because I wrote it so I know, but let my have my fantasy in which this is good, okay?

11) Short lines aren’t something I’m particulary good at, nor am I partial to them, but I went through a phase and the outcome of that was ”because Julius Caesar is everything like high school.” It was definitely an interesting one, and I can still read it without cringing, which is always a plus.

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

Mmm, six. And five eighths, just to keep it interesting.

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#overworked

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

I mean, that’s a little gross and I quit acting last year, but hypothetically...either Daveed Diggs or 2008 era Patrick Dempsey

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

She’s A Mess!

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

I’m unbeatable at four square. No, seriously.

What’s your wakeup ritual?

Stare at the cieling and kind of plot my day out in my head, then I get up, get dressed, do my hair, eat, brush my teeth, and get started.

What’s your go to bed ritual?

Watch Taylor Swift interviews or listen to conspiracies for about 30 minutes and then turn on white noise or Sade’s “Lovers Rock” and it puts me right to sleep. Literally I’ve pavlov’s dogged myself with that album and a certain white noise playlist, it’s insane.

What’s your favorite time of day?

I’m not always awake for it, but I love early, early morning when I can just be alive but nobody expects anything of me.

What is one thing no one knows about you?

*shakes head* Shhhhh...

Dream country to visit?

Greece. Or Italy. Or Egypt.

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

Finding out Summer ’08 (one of my plays) was the all-time highest scoring play in a competition.

Heels or flats/sneakers?

Heels, but it’s more of a wishful thing.

Vintage or new?

Vintage, I just wish I could afford it.

Who do you want to write your obituary?

My future husband, with my siblings and closest friends.

Style icon?

Say what you want, but Kim K.

What are three things you can’t live without?

Literally: water, oxygen, shelter. Figuratively, probably my family & friends, music, and books.

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

Old Bay.

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Kim Kardashian, Kamala Harris, and Taylor Swift.

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Not getting to tell people all that they mean to me before I lose them.

Window or aisle seat?

Both sound equally unpleasant, but I guess window.

What’s your current TV obsession?

Gilmore Girls, (the old) Unsolved Mysteries, and Selena: the Series

Favorite app?

Probably spotify

Secret talent?

Voices and celebrity/cartoon/character impressions

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

Shared my writing with someone whose opinion I knew could break me.

How would you define yourself in three words?

Sensitive, intuitive, perfectionistic.

Favorite piece of clothing you own?

I have this pair of high top Converse I found at a thrift store that are printed with watercolor looking orange and yellow lotus flowers. You can tell they’re at least a little vintage because the little logo patch is leather.

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

Black joggers. They’re comfy and go with everything.

Superpower you would want?

To be able to see inside people. If I could do that I’d become a doctor and help catch disease easily.

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

The fact that even though not a lot might change, a new beginning is coming soon.

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

Everyone defines success differently, so don’t get caught up too much with someone else’s. Yours will come at its own pace.

Best advice you’d give your pre-teenage self?

Your middle school grades don’t matter.

A book that everyone should read?

James McBride’s “The Color of Water”

What would you like to be remembered for?

Making the world a better, safer, kinder place for everyone.

How do you define beauty?

A truly kind heart with good intentions and love for others

What do you love most about your body?

My brain. It’s so full of ideas and memories.

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

Hot chocolate and bestdressed videos

Favorite place to view art?

A classroom. So many different perspectives to listen to.

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

Peppermint tea

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

Realistically, guitar. But I’ve always wanted to learn saxophone.

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

My rib

Dolphins or koalas?

Koalas~ so fluffy and adorable!

What’s your spirit animal?

Probably an elephant. They’re meek and sensitive, but their trumpeting can be heard miles away.

Best gift you’ve ever received?

Life. Salvation. Friendship. Family. But if we’re talking material things, I adore my guitar.

Best gift you’ve ever given?

Support. And a signed Dodie vinyl.

What’s your favorite board game?

Life

What’s your favorite color?

Red. But I wear more blue because it’s safer looking.

Least favorite color?

Mmm...anything neon. Too bright.

Diamonds or pearls?

Diamonds, I love little tiny ones. They’re so classy.

Drugstore makeup or designer?

I’m allergic to a lot, plus I honestly just feel like it’s unnecessary and I don’t like to spend money on it so drugstore I guess.

Blow-dry or air-dry?

Air dry. My hair is so thick and I don’t have the patience.

Pilates or yoga?

Never tried either!

Coffee or tea?

Tea. Especially peppermint tea.

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

Weird. It never looks right.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

All chocolate. I don’t care at all. But white chocolate is a no.

Stairs or elevator?

Elevator.

Summer or winter?

Winter. I love chilly weather.

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

Fried rice with teriyaki chicken.

A desert you don’t like?

Apple pie. But not the handpies, those are good.

A skill you’re working on mastering?

Patience. Legitimate excitement for other people’s accomplishments.

Best thing to happen to you today?

There was bacon at lunch and it was really good. Like, I’m more of a sausage person but this was REALLY good.

Worst thing to happen to you today?

So many deadlines. Ugh.

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

Being told I have a beautiful soul.

Favorite smell?

Verbeena lotion. My mom used to wear it when I was little and it takes me back.

Hugs or kisses?

Hugs.

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

I plan on making one actually, about multi level marketing and pyramid schemes.

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

I cry at everything, but act three of Our Town made me sob so hard I couldn’t see the pages.

Lipstick or lip gloss?

Red lipstick.

Sweet or savory?

Savory.

Girl crush?

Early 2000′s Lauren Graham.

How you know you’re in love?

I don’t know if that’s something that can be put into words...it’s just a feeling, it makes your chest warm and you just have this deep joy inside. It’s like you think nothing can ever match this, and you’re right. I’ve been in love three times, and each time was so incredibly different, but I always feel warm and safe inside, and I think that’s what it feels like.

Song you can listen to on repeat?

New Year’s Day, currently.

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

Donald Trump. I’d do what needs to be done and make sure everything’s being taken care of the actual correct way.

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

Moving forward. The future is right in front of me.

Your go to for having a good laugh?

Saturday Night Live! God, I love Tina and Amy especially. An iconic duo.

Your affirmation for today?

Walk your path at a good pace, but don’t hurt yourself. You’ll get where you need to be.

these bandages suffocate my fingers so they're stuck between my teeth

and i can't figure out how the blood's falling like snowflakes collecting like

stars on my bed; poetry doesn't quite make sense. & when confessions

come out as his arms wrap around me in the form of, i write gay poetries,

his silence slaps me worse than a i don't know what to say. for the silver

lining tucked between the folds i believed we were with saving and we'd

be okay; but blessings are tragedies that are still falling. when we met, i

was falling just while he was breathing & knew there was something more

to the brown eyes with damaged dreaming. i know the name, i told him

glancing at the facade he was playing (his bluff was alluring), not the face.

& he hasn't held his father's pride in a long, long time. so when he realized

his girlfriend would break him one last time, he gave in to the thorns pricking

his skin when he went picking back in '14 when he still believed in trying,

as if anything would amount to everything. youth isn't fickle, it's how you

view that's spinning faster than the world. please don't leave me, that's when

i realize i'm begging because even though he's breaking i'm shattering and

losing my favorite lover is more threatening than the scraping of a dagger

against the throat when death says it's time to go. & he just holds me close,

i think he knows, the words i love you too much are tongue dipped and acid,

but for the second, i don't care. because i love him too. so we danced along

the line of insanity and toxicity because lovers are the best and worst of the

paper cuts along our hearts; as for the life we're living. he's the best of me &

the worst part of my unbecoming but for the sake of my youthful being trapping

my old soul, we'll be okay for now. we'll be worth saving.

Hi. Wow, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on here. For a while these past few weeks I’ve been kind of encapsulated in the college research/SAT prep bubble and everything else has seemed to fall by the wayside. I’m definitely not as active on here as I was in the spring and summer but my attention span for this kind of thing tends to kind of wax and wane over time.

    I think for a while I was super caught up in the statistics of these sorts of sites, and I’d tell myself something like if I didn’t gain 10 followers a week my account was failing, but obviously you can’t gain without putting something out there yourself, so there were also a lot of pieces i did specifically for the internet. I would look up what trends were rising or falling that week and try to very subtly add that sort of thing into a poem, and it made for a lot of things that I wasn’t proud of and didn’t feel fulfilled from. People--most people I know at least, including myself--fall into that little game with themselves and the internet after they realize that people like what they are putting out. I’m not going to get all motivational-speaker on you here, but really, if you put out something you don’t love and aren’t proud of, any praise will start to make you feel pretty not good.

    There’s an old writer’s adage that pretty much says that if you aren’t having fun writing something, nobody’s going to have fun reading it, and I think that can be true, but only to a fault. I write to process, to vent, to just get it all out (ugh that’s so cheesy) and while of course it can be fun, sometimes it isn’t. One of my more popular pieces, “burning things like trucks and my white privilege,” for example. It’s definitely something I love and I’m proud of it, but writing it was definitely not a happy or fun time, if you know what I mean.

I think basically what I’m getting at here is that something I’ve really come to realize here is that it isn’t about pleasing people or making them happy. If I put out something I’m proud of it really doesn’t matter at all what people think. Of course I love all of you and hope you stick around, but if you don’t like my writing that’s okay, too. Going into the new year I’m going to start posting more of what I want, maybe some of my funnier side that I tend to kind of not show online, all that kind of thing.

Anyway, I’ve been pretty good. School is insane, but everyone says junior year is the worst so I was kind of expecting that, and online classes are...interesting, to say the least. It kind of feels sometimes like I’m living inside of an SNL sketch and everyone is playing their parts perfectly but someone forgot to write my cue cards so I’m just standing there kind of absorbing all of the insanity, not really positive what’s going on around me.

    Also included this month--Christmas. I think a lot of people aren’t really thinking Christmas will seem strange this year because they got over that initial shock with Thanksgiving, but my family actually does tend to do Thanksgiving alone half the time so it didn’t feel out of the ordinary at all. Christmas is kind of a big holiday, though, and it’s a busy season typically so I think I’ll either really like the slowness of this year, or it will just seem really depressing and empty.

People in my area talk about 2020 ending like everything will go back to normal the minute 12:00 hits. I mean, I get it. I think we all want to wake up on January first and get the year we all think we missed out on and have this all just feel like a weird fever dream. But that can also be a really toxic way to think because they’re setting all their hope of normalcy on a day and when it comes and, inevitably, nothing’s changed, reality is going to feel like a slap in the face.

    All that to say, I’m not doing this as a “Yes! 2020′s ending!” type thing. I just thought it would be something fun and light to end such a heavy year on. My friend (not on here, unfortunately) suggested I call it blogmas and do it like youtubers do their vlogmases, a good mix of fun and cheesy, but I couldn’t stand the name and thought it would take too much time. But I came on today and saw someone else do a 25 days of stories and one of my wtw buddies doing a December Poetry on Prose (shout out to Samina) and I was just like, why not? So I’m calling it a countdown and taking my friend’s advice and doing it like fun/cheesy youtube videos, and that’s this.

Happy almost holidays, everyone. As the semester ends, remember we’re all in this together and I’m so thankful I can be a source of light for so many of you throughout the year

xx- Riley