Hello, my name is fear

I use humor as a defense mechanism

when I'm uncomfortable.

Hello, my name is disaster

I cover up for this with victim mentality

delicately coated with a fine glaze of selfishness

Hello, my name is the past

You can see it in the way I distance myself

from all the least favorite parts of myself

tuck them away into the darkest corners of my mind

Hello, my name is

whatever you want me to be

My love

I could write you a million poems

I could invent metaphors

through astrophysics

and fairy lights

illuminated in ghostly night aspens

I could speak in french

because poetry is more beautiful 

when you can't understand the words

all you have is the feeling behind them

"Tu es ma lune et mes étoiles

bien sûr

Ne le doute jamais"

I could say a great many things 

but they're not enough

Love isn't meant to be in text

It's written behind deep blue eyes

in smiles that stretch to infinity

in laughter and really bad horror movies and no trespassing signs

It's in goodnight kisses

and in the night sky during the silence that follows

There is nothing safer

Than the flecks of gold in his eyes

Nothing untold in the words

falling from his lips

Nothing else I've found

That describes home so fully

Not the feeling of shutting the car door

and letting silence fold in

Not the confines of my own skin

Not the faded and tattered Welcome mat

Before each sound proof door

Since moving around from house to house

Across the world and back again

I only just realized home

Is not a pile of bricks with an entryway

It is in his arms

His lips

His smile