Two sides to Christmas
The job I’ve been given,
the job to bring joy
is one that’s accomplished
with each handmade toy
My tireless hands
work ’round the clock
the timer’s been set,
one year,
tick tock
I don’t rest,
never eat
(best leave me a snack!)
I work and I work
and I break my back
to bring you what you want
no simple task
for carter I’ll carve
for sally I’ll sew
for Dominic I draw
and all alone I work, oh no!
and sure, it’s nice
the glory and fame
no one would hate
to have the world know their name
No, I do not mind my merry round face
plastered on walls all over the place
sometimes they talk about Jesus
but I ask
‘who’s he?’
the only Christmastime miracle
is me
I’m a wonder,
a phenomenon
Oh,
I should continue on and on…..
Santa sit down,
its time that you had a break
you really should be careful
you’re six million cookies overweight
you walk around our shop
like you own the place
but last I checked Mrs. Claus
told you ‘get out my f**king face’
you’re lazy,
you’re old,
you don’t deserve the credit,
I work day and night for you but
you just don’t seem to get it
We’re slaves to the holiday
a green and red disgrace
my elven nose is tired of
your booze-smelling aftertaste
Every toy you claim you create to bring joy
do not make me expose your shit,
big boy
Cuz I don’t think I’ve seen you
working very hard
Of course,
thousands of us suffer
but that’s just because
we are elves right?
off into the night
on christmas eve you’re gone
but you don’t see our blight
but that’s fine, enjoy
let every girl and boy
know your name
but when the elves are gone
you know who’s to blame.