Time
It's been months and I hate that I can't tell him I don't feel safe here. Last night I had a nightmare and stood in his room, waiting for him to realize I was there. I kissed him. Why would I kiss him? Of all fucking things, I kissed him.
~
Cal pulls away, his hand resting on my cheek. I press my forehead against his and sigh. He chuckled and hugged me.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Tears fall out of my eyes quickly and I drench his shoulder. Cal pulls me away and laughs.
"It's fine. Hey, hey. It's fine. I get it." He laughs again, making me laugh. When we went home that night, he let me sleep beside him. When he fell asleep, I listened to his breathing for the longest time, until I fell asleep.
~
SHE KISSED ME! SHE KISSED ME! When she fell asleep, I just wanted to kiss her again. It's that urge to just kiss someone back but when they say sorry it's a sign to not. So I didn't. I just hugged her for a bit. She slept with me that night and I was fine with it.
Maybe this is okay. Maybe we can be okay.
Older
He's older now
Will he forget about me?
Will he still love me?
I hope he is happier now
I want him to feel okay
He never has
Will he leave me?
Will I still be able to call him my brother?
After all, the one that I am a twin of is ashamed to be my brother.
Will you still love me, even if you're older?
See you in the next one
-A.E.T.
Weeping Willow
As I wept beneath the willow tree
The grass below me began to die
Flowers wilted at the sight of me
and black clouds filled up the sky
As waters overflowed my senses
I felt that I could die
And as I take my final breath of air
The wind let out a gentle sigh
While the blood dripped from my finger tips
Red Chrysanthemum began to bloom
A man comes to collect my body
But then realizes who I used to be
He leaves without doing his job
And ends up joining me
See you in the next one
-A.E.T.
Skin
Yeah
I'm not looking for a friend
I'm not looking for a lover
I Just want someone to love
Like no other
I wanna be someone
That has some value
Never knew what that felt like
Until I found you
But then you left
Damn that cut me deep
Everyone thinks this is a just
But really I wouldn't mind if I croaked
No one understands the pain I'm in
No one understands the hurt in my sins
But it's not like that matter cuz they're not in my skin
This skin
Doesn't have to be my skin
Oh no
No
No
This skin doesn't have to be my skin
Oh no
I'm not trying to get on your nerves
I'm just trying to let you know
I'm running from all my fears
and I've ran out of all my tears
and I've wasted them
all these years
Crying over your dumbass
But I get it now
You found someone new
I don't get it
was I not worth it?
Was I not good enough?
Guess I'll just come out and say it
So go end up in a hole
I really don't give a damn
I'll add that extra dirt to the top when they say the final prayer
But you don't understand
Because you're not in my skin
This skin
Doesn't have to be my skin
Oh no
No
No
This skin doesn't have to be my skin
Oh no
See you in the next one
(This is a song I'm working on)
-A.E.T.
Sight
I see things I wish I never did
I have seen things that make me cry
I have seen things that make me angry
make me depressed
make me feel empty
make me feel alone
When I see something that brings up tears
I feel like no one will think like me
You
You reading this
You don't know me but you know so much
You know more than I have ever let anyone know
I
This empty
broken mirror
I am a fogged up car
an empty coffin
a hallowed tree
I am
not
me
See you in the next one
-A.E.T.
Chapter 7
All Might looks at me with tears filling his dead, hallowed eyes. As the needle pokes through my skin and into my vein, the Bakugo family arrives. The monitor beeps, making a high-pitched sound. We all sit in silence until the doctor enters the room, The woman shrugs, taking my temperature a final time.
“She’s gone, honey. I don’t know what else I can see. As far as the tests can show, Mouse is gone.” The doctor leaves, giving me too much to think about. This thrilled Principal Nezu at first, then notices my concern. Does this mean I can’t be a hero? All Might and Nezu leave the room to speak, leaving me and the Bakugo family alone. Mitsuki Bakugo is the first to act. She stands and hugs me, placing a hand on my head. I’ve never seen her in a comforting mood. She and Katsuki are always yelling at each other. She pulls away and tells me to stay strong. She and her husband walked out of the room, giving my shoulders an unbearable weight. My eyes catch Katsuki’s. He says something I don’t hear. He groans and shakes my shoulders. My eyes bolt to his,
“You are back to being you, asshat. So, you are going to come back with me to the dorms and you’re going to become the hero you want to. If you don’t, I’ll drag your ass back there and force you to do everything by my side!” Katsuki blinked, a single tear traveled the distance down his cheek and onto his perfect jawline. A smile grew onto my face when I poked his cheek.
“You, the tough, smart, annoying, kickass, Katsuki Bakugo are crying.” He instantly crossed his arms and retreated the second the words left my mouth. He huffed and denied me. Laughing and bugging him I see if he cared. Leaving the hospital for the last time, the stars shone bright on the hood of each car in the parking lot. As the Bakugo’s sped off, All Might stood beside me, looking at the stars. He closes his eyes, his hair blowing in the breeze. Sometimes I wonder where I would be without his help and positivity. We drove back to the dorms. Aizawa Sensei sneaks me into my old dorm and all my things are back in their original places, I sit on the soft bed. For a second, Aizawa stands there, watching the movement of my feet underneath the blankets.
He spins around, opening the door. He quickly closes it and clears his throat as he stares at me. I rise to my feet and rush over to him, hugging him tightly. He takes a second to register what’s going on, but then he returns a hug to me. I thank him. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m thanking him for. He ruffles my hair, smirking.
“You’re lucky no one saw us walking in, you’d be dead right now.” We laugh as quietly as we can to disturb no one still awake. Aizawa leaves after turning the lights off. I wait a minute and dash to the wall on the left of my bed. Diving under the covers and catching my breath, my knuckle thumps against the icy wall. Thump thump thump. I wait. Nothing. Silence. After six minutes of silence and disappointment, I sigh and turn away from the wall. Tears drench my pillow while I muffle my sobs with the sleeves of my (well, Toya’s) hoodie. Knocking. It’s a way I could talk to. . .
Thump! Thump thump thump thump.
My body flips quickly, nearly smacking my head against the wall. After giggling for a few seconds, I knocked back on the wall.
Yeah, I’m here too.
You know, I’ve been waiting for you to knock and let me know you’re back.
To be honest, I want to tell him it feels like I have died and returned. But I can’t lie; I’ve been dead for a very long time. Before I can knock back, there is a knock at my door. I ran over and slightly cracked it open only to see the tall, red-haired, human boulder waiting at my doorway. Without thinking, I pulled him inside and shut the door behind him. He quickly hugged me, making me laugh. We hugged for ten minutes, not wanting to let go for a second. When he finally pulls away, Kirishima’s tear-filled eyes peer into mine. I poked the tip of his nose, almost beginning to cry. The two of us have always been this close. Ever since saving Bakugo and the U.S.J. attack, he’s been there for me. The two of us sit on the floor even though there is a perfectly comfortable bed behind us. Kirishima hands me his phone and scrolls through his camera roll. He shows me each picture he’d taken of our friends since I’d left. One picture stuck to me. Bakugo is sitting at my dorm door on the floor with his head resting on the doorframe. His eyes are closed, and expression is calm.
“He always would sit there at night, waiting for you to come back.” Kirishima cleared his throat, trying to ignore the picture that is plastered on his screen.
Kaminari, Sero, Ashido, Kirishima, and Midoriya are crowded around the table with a board game spread across the top. Ashido and Kaminari are staring at it, thinking while Midoriya explained the rules. Sero messed with his tape, wrapped it around Kirishima’s arm to see how tough it compared to Kirishima’s skin. I smile, seeing at least some people have got their minds off things even though it’s through a small photo. I squish Kirishima’s face with my hand, trying not to laugh loudly. He rests his head on my shoulder, making my face burn.