I didn't realize I was lost until I was found. Looking and feeling..simply remembering the joy I once knew. The love I had and gave, happily. The way I controlled the room when I entered it. I noticed when Joy began to pack up and move out. I fought as hard as I could for Joy. At least, I thought I did. Until I realized, I wasn't fighting for my joy but I was fighting myself. In the mirror, I no longer see my face but yet the image I've painted myself out to be. Constantly giving pieces of myself, my soul, my joy to others not deserving. Allowing situations in life the ability to alter the vision I saw every time I looked in the mirror. Today, I write to you. Joy please come home. 

Everyday of my life, I awake with millions of thoughts running through my brain. Thoughts I'd like to share, until I'm overcome with fear.  

What if you don't understand?  

What if you laugh?  

What if you cry?  

What if you see the truth that I try to hide on the inside?  

To let you in, seems almost unbearable.  

The thought alone leaves me breathless and filled with anxiety.  

I cannot let you see the real me.

Because, even I'm afraid of who I might be...