Words...those sparks that speak for us.

Syllables formed from thoughts.

Sometimes they articulate perfectly the intended message.

Sometimes they tell our stories.

We send them out to lovers, and friends and foes alike. They're perfect parcels...meant for someone else to form meaning.

Occasionally they are left outside in the rain.

Unreceived

Ignored

Misunderstood

It's as if they are speechless.

With the fresh reality, everyone shows up

"Let us help."

"What can we do?"

They don't know what to do.

I don't know what they can do.

Physically close is uncomfortable

because a hug may feel right

but could be rebuffed

where does that leave them?

It leaves them with arms empty

while I live days and nights

with every part of everything empty.

Talking is easy when I fill the air.

In the throes of disaster

I had a focus

there was illness or getting well

or planning for death...

all those provided a solution

The aftermath leaves nothing but

ends to tie up and items to sort.

and the things that show up that

I must decipher

Thoughts to clear away

pieces of white paper and colored

what to keep and whatever mattered

A life reduced to rubble

and piles of useless clutter.

There’s nothing like the eyes of a lover.

They search so deeply.

Seeing all the way through

Deep into their lover’s soul pool

Clear, warm and salty

It holds the years of tears shed

While looking for them...waiting for them.

It is their place on which

To float endlessly.

In that safe dwelling within their lovers soul...made just for them.

Last night I noticed light glinting off the silver of the car. Looking straight up overhead I saw her...Our moon. I smiled at her...she smiled back...I told her silently...thank you sister...I love you and how your luminescence lights my way. Tonight’s dark sky is brightened once again by the never ending beauty of Our Moon...with or without you...I know we will always bask in her light at the same time...we might even have a private glance upward...remembering her as Ours and our time with her.

Like dew on grass my tears rested gently on my cheeks. Each droplet rolled slowly over the mounds leaving a glistening trail to be traced by your fingers. As you caught each one you asked, “Why my love do you weep so?” To that I answered, “Because soon I will miss you as fiercely as I am thrilled to see you now.” Watching the joy in my eyes at seeing yours you leaned down and kissed the trail of each tear. The path was then broken. Only joy remained in its place.

Like an old camera

which when opened

exposes the delicate film,

so did our time together

capture these snapshots

of memories longed

to be created.

Created from joy,

surprise, tenderness,

passion, desire,

Reconciliation and love.

The laughter and longing

connection and satisfaction,

affection and belonging

held us tightly together.

Hold my hand.

Catch my tears.

And know my love

I’ll do the same.

Ours dance together

We don't know, but

their play keeps us close.

They know no distance.

Ours only know love.

The ether is their earth.

Holding hands just like us.

Chapter 1

After slamming the front door of the brownstone, that she loved to escape another ridiculous argument, she marched down the perfectly lit street. Not knowing where she headed didn’t matter. Getting out of there did. Muttering to herself in her mind she vowed it was over and she was going to do something about leaving. After a block or two, she thought she could really use a drink.

Where the hell am I? Damn, dumbass you outa pay attention.

Ahh, there it was her favorite bar. It was what she imagined a speakeasy would have been. The hotel it was in was one of the most subdued yet well-appointed boutique hotels around.

She pulled the large brass bar across the smoky glass door and stepped inside. The cool air brushed her hair back from her face gently and embraced her in a way she’d like a man to. Standing just inside the door, she paused and looked around, getting her bearings.

Some subtle jazz music filled the dimly lit space. The glasses and bottles on the mirrored wall of the bar sparkled and seemed to call to her to come and sit and partake. There were several seats at the bar and some of the bar tables. She decided the bar was the worst choice because it would make it clear she was alone. She chose a table along the wall of windows that looked out over the outdoor seating and lush atrium.

Her phone had been buzzing in her purse since she’d left, but she refused to get it out.

The cool leather seat felt terrific on her back. She’d gotten slightly warm in her angry walk, and her cotton button-down felt a bit damp in spots. Her loose trendy ripped jeans were perfect for this sort of place. Kicking off her sandals, she pulled her feet up and sat cross-legged in the stool.

As she listened to the music wafting through the space she ordered her favorite cocktail from the busty sweetly young waitress. Yes, a Tanqueray martini, dirty and dry with two olives would be delicious right now. Sitting comfortably and trying not to think about anything, in particular, she finally looked at the trio playing the music. The keyboard player was looking her way, but she didn’t assume it was at her. As she looked back, she saw the corner of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. She held his gaze, attempting to prove herself wrong. He didn’t look away, but instead ever so slightly dipped his head in acknowledgment. She tried to do the look around to see if it is sent to you or the beautiful sexy woman behind you scan without anyone noticing. Re-thinking that she held his gaze. What did she have to lose?

Oh, but then it all changed.

Shit, they are taking a break now? What the fuck was I thinking looking back like that? Being bold and daring…

She decided this was her queue to go to pee. Surely, she could avoid him if she was gone for a minute. She put the cocktail napkin over her drink and scooted off her stool to the ladies’ room. Looking in the mirror, she picked herself apart, to be sure it wasn’t her that he was looking over. Apply some more lip color she went back to her seat. The seat was cool, and it calmed her again as her heart was pounding her temples.

Still refusing to reach for her phone she rolled her head back and closed her eyes. Trying to relax and enjoy the atmosphere, she went into a meditative state. When she opened her eyes, she was startled to see a small intricate plate of cheese and bread. Not realizing she was hungry, she found her mouth-watering. Looking around but not knowing where she or what she was looking for she decided to partake. After her first taste and her eyes rolling back in her head, he appeared across the small table from her. She opened her eyes when she heard him speak.

“So, I guess I made a good choice. You look like you like that,” he said.

Startled again, she said, “Why yes. Yes, you did. How did you know?”

“You looked like a woman who likes what I like, so I was convinced you’d like this snack plate and I was right.”

“You’re spot on. I don’t know how you got it from a glance, but you did,” I replied.

“There is something about you. If that isn’t being too forward. I didn’t have a doubt. I knew I could choose to satisfy you, and it would be the right choice. You need to be satisfied, don’t you?”

She didn’t even know how to reply. YES! That is what she wanted to say. She wished to grab the front of his shirt and pull him up against her. Kissing him was all she could think focus on for some reason. Maybe it was the martini, which was almost gone. Perhaps it was his pure sexiness. His dreadlocks and ebony skin all made her more curious to know more about him.

He said that he had to go back to his keyboard for the next set. He asked if she’d be staying. She said she would. As he went to his position, another martini showed up. Again he dipped his brow to her and she to him.

Listening through the set, she stayed proud she hadn’t looked at her phone. The music played and soothed her, and she watched him stroke the keys. She imagined him stroking her the same way.

The set completed; he came straight to her. He extended his hand and introduced himself.

“Hi, I’m Aaron. And you are?”

“Hi Aaron, I’m Bridget. How are? Oh, and thank you so much for the snack and drink. Your group is great. I loved the music.”

“Well, thank you, and you’re welcome. It’s wonderful to meet you, Bridget. Do you have any plans now? I don’t, and I’d love to spend some time with you.”

Thinking twice about going home, she said, “No, I don’t. I’d like the same.”

He paid her tab, and he asked if she’d trust him to take her to his place upstairs. He lived above the bar. She decided since he was well known there, it would be safe.

Chapter 2

Climbing the wooden stairs, she listened to creaks and groans as their weight taxed them. Once inside, he showed her to the sofa and excused himself. She sat and attempted to slow her breathing. His place was bohemian and welcoming. She felt at home enough to take those sandals off again and curl into the corner of the comfy furniture. He came back wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Smiling down at her, he offered to make her some breakfast. Realizing how hungry she was, she welcomed the offer. He popped some champagne and pulled out eggs and bacon and bread and started to cook. They sipped the cold bubbly and talked with ease. Sitting at the counter, they ate the simple but delicious breakfast. They chatted and laughed easily. Then she felt his hand on her thigh. She knew she was more than tipsy, and that this more than an attraction. He took their plates to the sink. Standing next to her stool, he turned it, so she faced him. Reaching down, he tilted her chin up toward him, and he looked at her as if he’d known her forever. When his lips touched hers, there was a fire that nothing could stop.

They were both breathing quickly and touching and caressing one another like they’d never been touched before.

She stood up, and they were in full embrace. She felt weak in her knees and giddy at the same time. Kissing and trying to catch their breath they paused and laughed. Then he lifted her to put her arms around his neck. She naturally wrapped her legs around him and could feel his excitement pressing against her in just the right place.

With his strength and finesse, he laid her down gently on the sofa. Then reaching up, she tugged on his shorts to set free what she imagined she’d felt there in the embrace. When the shorts moved down, it fell out, and she was wowed! Her mouth started to water. Her pussy started to quiver. Then he leaned down and straddled her.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“Oh my god, yes I do,” she replied.

Hovering just above her lips he dipped it in and out. Just getting the tip nice and wet and making her beg with her eyes. Pulling it away, he leaned over and gave her a long wet kiss that made her positively soaked. Standing, he removed her jeans and then top and then her panties. He took them in his hand and spread the damp crotch wide and buried his nose in it, breathing in deeply. He wanted to smell all her sweet musky scent and suddenly entertained the idea of keeping them. All that was left was her bra. He was relieved it wasn’t complicated. Just a soft bra he could pull over her head. When he did, the weight of her heavy round tits fell silently and beautifully there for him to touch.

He reached down and scooped each and lifted them to his mouth. While running his tongue around the nipples, he reached down and felt how wet she was. He was surprised to be touching hair, though. So many girls these days were shaved clean that he didn’t expect to feel the soft down of her pussy hair. It turned him on. He was hard and wanted her right then, but she had other plans.

Sitting up, she brought him to her mouth, and though it was a struggle, she took him. Gagging a couple of times, she settled in and let him hold the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. She licked the length of it when he pulled it out, and he moaned.

“Damn baby,” was all he could manage.

The next move took her by surprise when he grabbed her hips and pulled her down onto her back again and kneeled in front of her. He inhaled her perfect scent. Now dying to taste her and drink it all in, if he could make that happen, he worked her pussy expertly from the inside too while licking her clit firmly and with conviction. She could not be quiet. She whined and moaned and writhed under his mouth. The quicker he worked his fingers, the faster she reacted. She could feel it coming. She hadn’t warned him how much it could be but also knew that once it started, she was incapable of holding it back.

Talk about flood gates! Shit, I wish I’d told him to watch out.

As she got closer, she instinctively raised her hips. She was tightly up against his mouth, and then he pulled back and thrust his fingers in and out quickly, building the urgency for her to let go and let it flow.

She screamed, “Oh fuck Aaron! Holy fucking shit.” Knowing what he wanted, he withdrew his fingers, and she pulled her head forward to ride it out, and it showered him. His face was dripping and hair glistening. At first, she just stared at him in disbelief. Was he going to back away across the floor or want more? His grin told her all.

He laughed and said, “That was incredible. Could we do it again?”

She, in turn, chuckled and sat up, leaned forward, and held his face in her hands. She put her forehead up against his and said, “God, I hope so.”

They kissed and cuddled and talked. Then he was hard again, and she wanted all of him. From the cuddle on their sides, he felt her make sure she was still wet, and the slick was still very much there. He slipped his dick in and parted her lips to give her all of him. He went slow. She was feeling the length and width of it all. It no sooner filled her, and then she was moaning again. The sense of urgency was there, and she knew she’d be flowing hard all over him in seconds. He reached around and held her tit and squeezed it. Lifting her top leg, he pushed it in even harder and with conviction and purpose. Reaching back, she felt his flat hard abs and the fine layer of sweat that had popped up. He was hitting her so hard the couch creaked and scooted some on the floor. She was bracing herself from the front so he could go as hard as he wanted. Without coming out, he moved around to be on top of her and put her legs up against his chest. He kissed her feet and looked down at her. With the next deep penetration, they both called out, “Oh fuck” and then started to laugh. He kept at it and then while she rubbed her clit, they came together. The release was mind-blowing, and doing it together made it monumental.

He dropped off to her side and lay his arm under her head, and they both panted. He got up to get some water, and she heard her damn phone again. She decided she needed to at least look at it as it was very late.

Reaching in, she retrieved the phone. In disbelief, she had her husband’s phone.

How did I pick up his phone? Well, that’s just great.

When she tilted it, she could see all the banner messages across its face. He’d never gotten the upgrade, so this phone only needed a passcode. She could put it in, but the notifications told her all she needed to know. Someone had been messaging him every few minutes. Her name was Leslie, and she could fucking have him. She had Aaron.

10/19

I am to make myself clean.

blessed be the fruit

Nobody dies from lack of sex.

Handmaids Tale