Being around you means learning to read again.

But instead of sounding out letters, I'm puzzling over the tilt of your head.

I'm watching the corners of your mouth.

I'm trying to understand the word scribbled in the shape of your brows.

Why is it so hard to understand the meaning behind the slope of your shoulders?

Can you explain why your laugh seems to rhyme with when you cry?

What kind of vowels are your hands making?

Are those signals in your tone platonic, phonetic, or romantic?

Please write your body language in CAPITALS, because I keep skipping over the consonants and silent E's in your gaze.

I'm tired of sharing:

My reflection

my smile

my eyes

my nose

my dimples.

They're not mine though. Are they?

Your dimples

your nose

your eyes

your smile

your reflection.

No matter how far away I try to run,

Our shadow is sewn to my feet.

its that time of year again when

my brain refuses to let me move.

so on my bed i lay

wondering if i even care if i turn

into a husk

here and now.

feeling inconsequential.

You dragged me to the edges of myself,

got high off the pure bliss

of gutting me.

From the inside out.

..

hours of dry heaving

tells me there's nothing left

of my insides.

You've thoroughly cleaned me out.

Yet. I still feel it.

..

The ghost of you

leaving behind traces of an unwanted

war. between us.

..

I stare at my stained clothes

at the bleach sitting beside them.

And my entire being leans towards it.

To be clean once more.

She cradles the deserts, scorch marks and blisters paint her arms.

She cries out the oceans, her eyes unseeing from the salt.

She holds the forests in her palms, tree roots piercing skin and bones.

She breathes the wind, gasping wails of pain.

She bears the mountains on her shoulders, bones crushing under solid rock.

She wears the sun upon her head, her hair catching fire.

She supports the ice in her middle, her heart frozen over within her ribcage.

She leaps from star to star, her bare feet cut and bruised from foriegn cliffs.

keep the clouds at bay

it doesn't always rain on funerals

the sun doesn't blink when i consider

the different means to my end

in broad daylight

unabashed to slice with hidden thorns

loving roses grow

sunkissed skin with no remorse

warms and dries

turns to burns

Were they really just daydreams?

Things you said, just to make me silly in the head?

I hated myself later...now

For reading between every word

listening to every breath

believing every soft whisper

smiling at every text

dreaming every night.

Forgetting that every snake slithers.

Falling upwards

into a bottomless sky

.

Breathe

.

Grabbing onto

air trying to stop

.

Breathe

.

Mouth open

in a silent scream

.

Breathe

.

Stars becoming

closer and closer and closer

.

Breathe

.

Running out

of air

.

Can't

.

.

Breathe

I'm a smile ready to burst,

A flower ready to bud.

But nobody even asks,

Why I'm jumping on my toes,

Trying not to squeal,

Tapping the excitement out of my fingers,

Or twisting my hair into incurable knots.

I want to shout my happiness to the world,

But nobody asks,

They're too busy,

Posting pictures of themselves on the internet,

Ignoring reality,

Breezing through life without a care.