A child crying,

a mother whimpering.

No daddy around,

no money found.

Two lonely girls,

with no one to hold,

I wish I could --

offer myself to sacrifice

in behalf of her pain.

Since I lived inside her womb,

To the first ever touch of her bosom.

The way she holds me,

The softness of her voice

when she talks to me.

Mommy makes me feel inspired,

She is my first love.

His machismo & strong muscles,

To his mustache & huge chest.

Makes me feel too much safety,

Especially when he carries me.

I know he will protect me,

For his braveness & wit secured me.

Since then, I fell in love with daddy.

Her features completes me,

She got what was lack of me.

She sustained me with affection,

And in return I gave her attention.

She takes away my bad days,

And gives me sunshine rays.

I was lucky, I found my other half.

He walks with me to school,

Plays football & basketball.

And rides with our bicycles.

He was more than a peer,

For me, he was a brother.

He gives me companion

And an unbreakable union.

All my life I gripped

On my mother’s love,

On my father’s strength,

On my lover’s care,

& my friend’s squire.

There were a lot of smiles,

Cascading hopes,

Colorful butterflies,

And vivid rainbows.

But, not everyday is a sunny day.

There were times when I cried too.

When I was ten I had my first heartbreak,

My first love, my mommy left me

So sad, fragile, and lonely.

While daddy, my protector

Had fed me to the prey.

He left a young child,

Scared and starved.

Fifteen years later,

I got married, but,

She, just like mommy and daddy,

Left me with a broken heart.

He went away with Johnny,

And took away our baby.

And Peter, my one and only friend

He was far away, in another country.

I was split in two,

Those commitments I had

With people I so love,

Broke me into pieces.

But, no matter how ruined I got

I still hang on to my mom’s love,

Daddy’s strength, my wife’s affection

And Peter’s companion

Because since I was young,

From the moment of conception.

Commitment taught me two things:

Love and loneliness.

And, a fifty-seven-year-old me,

Had embraced both

The glory of love

And the gift of loneliness.

Both gave me the courage

To carry on alone

Upto this age.

A pint of crimson red splattered across the white tiles of Arcane Inn. The zephyr hurt the laceration in my right rib, and the huge amount of force I used to protect myself from my attackers caused the blood to cascade quickly. The two unknown guys fell unto the ground before my vision totally went out.

“Help! Sasha is bleeding!” Alexandra screamed.

“Call an ambulance, quickly,” she demanded when the other employees and lodgers responded to her scream.

The rescue team arrived twenty long minutes, blood continued to flow before they finally took me to the hospital.

“She’s lucky enough, it was just a minor cut. She can be discharged when she wakes up,” Dr. Gordon explained.

“Thank God, thank you doc,” Alexandra retorted then went straight to room 503 to check on me. We became close friends since high school. Alexandra was the chief receptionist at Arcane Inn, and I was under her supervision.

*****

My fingers moved slowly one by one while my eyes eventually opened.

“Hey, thank God you’re finally awake,” Alexandra said.

“What happened to them, did they took the money?”

“Who are you talking about, you were bleeding alone when I saw you.”

“The two teenage guys who attacked me. They…came..I...”

“Sasha, calm down. We can talk about it later. By the way, how are you feeling? The doctor said you were lucky enough to have a minor cut. He said, we can get out of here once you are awake.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. We better get going, I have to work tonight. I do not want to lose my job right away. I do not have anywhere to go nor any penny in my pocket.”

“Do not think about it, you won’t lose your job, do not worry I will talk to our boss. I am sure she will understand. For now, you have to rest and gain your strength back so you will have a full memory of what happened.”

“Thank you so much!”

“Nah. Don’t think about it. Common I’ll help you get ready, so we can get you home.”

“Okay.”

*****

When we arrived, everyone at the inn waited for us including Mrs. Alfonso –our boss. She came to check what happened. We talked for a while, then she let me rest.

Meanwhile, Alexandra persuaded her to give my rest an extension and offered to take the night shift on my behalf. Mrs. Alfonso agreed and went on her way.

*****

Julio, the maintenance man suggested to her co-employees to review the CCTV footage last night.

“I was on my desk, waiting for customers. It was past 2 o’clock in the morning when two teenagers came and asked for an available room. I said that I was fully booked and referred them to another place to stay nearby. The two guys stayed for a while, the bald guy continued to ask me about the place while his partner scrutinized the place. He was obviously looking for the right timing. When he sensed that no one is around, he signaled the bald one, and he let out a karambit knife. They centered me and threatened to end my life if I won’t hand out the cash in the register. I was very tensed, but I also didn’t want to lose my job. So I didn’t give in and tried to fight back. I hit the bald guy with a book, the other one was free from my right side. So, he took the opportunity and stabbed my right side. Obviously, they aren’t experts of the business because when they saw me bleed, they both panicked and ran away.”

After watching, Julio immediately identified the criminals. He said that they live two blocks away from the inn. Their parents were both drug addicts and are both extremely poor.

Alexandra decided to inform Mrs. Alfonso right away. She phoned her, so she can see the video. Mrs. Alfonso quickly cancelled her other appointment and went straight to the inn. After watching, they decided to hand out the evidence to the police.

Because their faces were caught crystal clear on camera, the two couldn’t deny of their crime. The police officers arrested them.

*****

I was still sleeping in my room when Mrs. Alfonso thought, “She couldn’t believe the bravery of her new employee. She could have opted to play safe, but she didn’t. It was her first day on duty, and a terrible tragedy welcomed her.” Curiosity ate Mrs. Alfonso, so she rechecked my profile.

Alexandra told her about my life story, “She got beaten by her brothers and daddy put her out of the house. She asked for my help, luckily we have a slot for a job. I offered her the position and it gave her a sense of hope. Her mommy rejected her when she asked for help. I think she seriously needed a place to stay and a job to sustain her basic needs, I tried to help her the best I could because she was like a sister to me. I have been through the same, and it was hard.”

“Sounds too much for a young girl. Did you mean her parents completely abandoned her? What about her education?”

“Unfortunately, yes. She was an undergraduate, stopped her college because her scholarship paid only half of her tuition and her parents couldn’t afford to pay for it. She had a part-time job as a barista, but, it recently closed because of bankruptcy. So, she was forced to stop her education.”

“Pity. She reminds me of my mother, the same bravery and impulsiveness. Tell her to see me when she wakes up. Also, tell her not to worry about those guys, they already paid their debts.”

*****

Alexandra awakened me with a brilliant surprise. She acquainted me to Mrs. Alfonso’s office, and there I thanked God for last night’s tragedy because it served as a blessing in disguise for me. My boss offered me a full scholarship and free house & food and in exchange I will still work as a receptionist at Arcane. I was so happy that day until now. I served the Alfonso’s for a long time until I graduated proud. Plus, I got back the love of my family. They were so happy for what I had accomplished and so am I.

A sudden clasp of the algid air,

Trembled the hair on my humid skin,

Unto my shaking fingertips

And traveled through my weary veins.

Rising towards the middle of my head,

Then the lights went blurry

As my vision turned round and round.

It’s difficult to catch a breath

Felt like I’m about to faint.

The sun went down to its hiding place,

Along with my consciousness.

The solid ground beneath my feet,

Served as my temporary bed.

Various types of voices awakened me,

They were all looking & congratulating me.

I was inside a white room,

Wearing white clothes

With a dextrose hanging on one hand.

I didn’t stayed for long,

For the doctor released me soon.

But never forgot to gave me his professional advice.

My mom, she accumulated me,

While dad carried me.

They said, ’My beautiful daughter,

Please take care of yourself more

For you are bringing God’s greatest gift of all.’

My beating heart galvanized,

As my emotions stirred.

I couldn’t understand how I felt,

A portion of excitement,

Blended with tension.

At the same time,

Happiness became my soul.

There were a lot of changes,

From my body shape

To almost every little thing I do.

For nine long months,

I prayed a lot,

I waited a lot,

I opened my heart fully,

And offered it to God.

Because without his glory,

I might not deliver the baby.

So, I steadied my faith

And gripped on my family.

The days went on fast but not easy.

One cold night,

When the moon was perfect,

Centering the skies along with the brilliant stars.

An overwhelming pain shocked me,

My foot numbed suddenly.

Then the ache increased in my core,

All the way to my lower back.

I wanted to scream!

I wanted to shout!

The water broke,

The blood followed!

Help!

I couldn’t take it no more.

For a long, long time.

The pain continued,

Until it forced me to push,

Push like I’ve never pushed before!

The blood cascaded,

My body felt so exhausted.

I tried, tried my very best,

To not cry, to not stop.

Though my breath came short,

I pushed through the shooting pain.

My throat went dry and warm,

I needed a drink,

To refresh my thirsty self.

But, I couldn’t waste a single minute

To try and save myself.

An angel cant wait to see the world,

It should be her than me first.

The numb elevated,

For many sore minutes.

I almost let out a tear,

Until the pain altered to a smile.

My heart jumped out as high,

My spirit glowed in glee,

When I first heard,

The cry of a new born child.

Then I realized,

That she is life.

The very essence,

Of a fulfilled heart

And a joyful heart.

I remember the constant yelling and fighting in the midst of our little impaired house. I was four-years old, very thin, and brittle. For many years. the scene went on and on until I reached my fourteenth birthday.

When I started school, bullies pick on me, because of my unusual height & because of my parents daily fighting routine. I wanted to cry and quit but, I chose not to. Eventually, my classmates started to respect me because of my high grades, I gained one good friend –Sandra.

Even though people are trying to be good towards me, I opt to be in silence. I had developed the characteristic since early childhood. I can’t speak my opinion at home nor at school –so what’s the use talking?

Even with Sandra, I watch every detail I share with her, because privacy is everything to me.

Until I reached my final year in high school, bullies were still around however, I have learned a technique in order not to be hurt anymore. I realized from the non-stop screaming to the vexing bullying that fighting through curse words were totally useless because since then, I have mastered the power of silence.

My mom use to say,

"handle your money with best care."

and dad, he holds me tight

I grapple in his big arms.

Abagail, a sister of mine

with big tits and a cute smile.

she fascinates,

almost every guy.

"I am eighteen," she says

and of legal age.

tell Amy to stay,

and cook for the guest later in the day.

"Amy, can you stay?"

"okay mom, I will."

Abi give the widest smile

& asks mom for a dollar bill.

She didn't get anything so,

she comes to me and hits me in a row.

I say, "no! mommy said I should be careful in handling my money,"

But, Amy,

oh my sister Amy.

who is slutty and pretty

takes my dollar bill away

to waste in the city!

She tells me to jump,

but I did not!

"Do it now,"

"but, I don't want to go!"

I try,

to escape the lie

I know she is a lie

created by my mind.

Yet,

she doesn't leave me to sleep.

In fact,

she holds me to bed.

Almost,

I reached the other world.

I saw,

My blood dripping down below.

I stumbled,

Upon my weak knees.

I crawled,

Because of the pain.

I almost,

Almost fainted,

When mommy opened the door,

And saw me lying on the floor.

It was a regular Thursday, mother’s busy applying her red lipstick. She was getting ready to dance for the gentlemen tonight at the club. While my cracked father smooched his bottle of liquor again, and frequently demanding for some money.

I was sixteen, curly and lonely. Since childhood, my parents were like this. Everywhere I go, I’m usually alone except when I go to work. I had one friend, her name is Rosita. She’s a ten-year old girl living across the drugstore where I attend as a clerk.

One evening Rosita went to visit me at my workplace. Holding a box of cake on her hand.

“Hey sweetie, is that for me?”

“Yes, my mommy baked it for you. She asked if I could be with you ’til tomorrow because she and dad had to fly for a business meeting,” she said.

“Of course, you can. You don’t have to pay me with a cake. Thanks anyway.”

Our conversation went on until 10pm, the store was quite, no customers came. Rosita asked me to accompany her outside to buy burgers for her starving stomach.

We walked outside . Filled our stomachs. She was so happy, laughing and dancing on the street until a car approached rapidly.

Booo-oooo-ooommmmm!!!

The windshield cracked, my body hit the solid ground, I felt pain all over my body. I tried to see her but my vision were blurry. I gasped and I fainted.

I saw a man in the shade of a white light. He wanted me to go with him. He said to me about paradise, that I shouldn’t be afraid.

When I attempted to grab his hand, a familiar voice called my name. She was sobbing. I listened and followed the echo of her tiny voice. I ran away from the man, I stumbled and suddenly the light was gone.

“She’s awake! Oh my god!” the familiar voice said.

I opened my eyes slowly, I was surrounded by people. I saw my parents, my mom with no make-up on, dad finally sober.

And, Rosita, she was the familiar voice. I saw her eyes twinkled even though she cried. She embraced and kissed me.

“Thank you for saving my life,” she said.

“No, you saved mine.”