first, you break something just as they broke your heart,

fill it up with a drug just as tears or anything else does.

you lick it trying to repair the damage.

soon you reilize that you can’t fix it and don’t need it on you so you burn it.

slowly watching as a peice lights a fire in which contines to burn the whole thing.

him, you, your heart, his lies, our moments.. burning right before my eyes

inhale. exhale. inhale. exhale.

letting the drug consume you, slowly yet so fast.

breathe it in and let it out.

letting go of the past.

Everyone told me when i was drowning in my tears that you are just a boy, that i deserved so much better or that you are doing what boys do, break your heart and dont pick up the peices. Me being the broken girl who doesnt deserve you in my mind, at least. you werent just a boy. in my mind, in my heart, you were so much more than a boy. you were a pill that was mainting my breathing. you werent just a boy, you will never be just a boy. i cant move on if you just keep coming back. never to leave but instead just hiding. just to pop back up.

i had a few boyfriends before you but you were the first one i fell in love with.

the moments we had, stuck in my head, to be replyed over and over again. you are a boy but never will i call you just a boy. cuase you were the first boy i loved. the first boy i cryed for, for days. sleeping off all my tears and my eyes red all the time.

but your just a boy, right?

there’s this boy in my class, he’s aborable cute. He’s a sleepy boy, thats all he does. he falls asleep in the classes we have. before he does, he plays with his hair. i wonder if he has a girlfriend who does that for him. i wish i was her, i would love to play with his hair while he falls asleep in my lap. He’s headphones seem like his best friend but he has so many of them. hes big hand with a small one and his hair on the nane of his neck to be played with and a lap to lay his head on. hes so cute and you dont see his smile much so when you do, its like a blessing to the whole wide world, its so perfect. He looks...so cute when he’s asleep. his black soft looking hair and his soft thin lips and pretty brown eyes with him falling asleep and kepts saying sorry for it. i dont know him, his life, or anything.. i notice the small things in people and his so hard to find out. his glasses are cute thought i dont think he likes them. He’s built and strong, i dont care. he would still be a sleepy boy if he wasnt. i think the fact that hes a sleepy boy is cuter then anything else. Sleepy boys are the best but him... he is cuter than anyone in this school... i wish i could tell him.. im just not good with my words but i cant write like all my feelings down like this and never have to speak them. He’s a sleepy boy...cuter than all. goodnight sleepy boy text me tommorow.

i wish i could tell him that