"Haha, hold still, you have five noses right now." Her voice was musical as a nightingale's, and audibly laced with alcohol.

    "Well, it's not like I would know that!" I playfully swatted her outstretched hand from where she was feeling for my nose. "Just tell me now!" My tone feigned injury, but I closed my eyes and allowed her to examine my face once again.

    She placed a tender kiss on my lips and pulled back. "Your skin is pretty pasty. Almost like....dried milk? I don't know what to call it." Hey eyes fluttered shut, and back open, staring at me with a gaze so intense, I knew what she was asking.

    "Yea, pasty skin is...kind of a vampire thing," I teased, "You're not much different." I rolled up my sleeve, holding my wrist out to her. "And, here. Saw the look in your eyes"

    Smiling widely, Alvara took my wrist. She sunk her teeth into the thin layer of skin covering my inner wrist and happily drank the sweet juice of life from my body. I sat back against a tree and closed my eyes. The feeling was euphoric. I allowed a piece of my mind to drain from my body with each drop of blood she drank. Minutes passed, and she pulled away, wiping at the corners of her mouth with her sleeve. She looked at my wrist quizzically and swished a bit of liquid around in her mouth before swallowing.

    Reaching into our wicker picnic hamper, she pulled a bag of cashews and tossed them to me. "You're low on iron. Eat those." She yanked my wrist back to her and dabbed the puncture wounds with a small cloth.

    "Beggars can't be choosers," I shrugged and opened the bag. I've never been big on cashews, but if it makes her happy. I munched on what tasted like salted cardboard. My lips puckered in disapproval, a motion kin to my thoughts of the nut. "I think i'll keep my low iron." Tossing the bag back to her, I turned once more and put my face a bit closer to hers with an exasperated grunt. "Continue!"

    She laughed again, a sound as sweet as the taste of her blood. "Your lashes are really long. And curly. Like little C's!" This time, she let out a deep chortle, something i've never heard out of her before.

    "Yea, the alcohol getting to you now?" She gave a loose nod in response. "Alright, alright. Let's get you home. You can tell me how dashingly handsome I am once you're all sobered up. And, most likely, how valiant I was for the inevitable moment in which I will be holding your hair back as you have a little date with the toilet. I should be jealous. You hug it more than you hug me." 

    She picked up the basket and folded herself bridal-style into my arms. "Mhmm. But I love you so much more."

    Standing, I began the trip home, lit by the glinting moon and the stars in Alvara's eyes.

    Black waste spreads through my water. My very life force. My water is like their blood. They cannot live when toxin levels in their blood rise, yet they continue to pollute mine. The aquatic life are my blood cells. They are dying along with myself. Choked by the rubbish my children discard. I hear them call to me, "Mother! Save me, Mother. I am dying. I cannot breathe." Alas, I am in no position to save them. My tears do not extinguish the infernos that rage across my flesh, leaving charred earth and blisters that were once houses in it's wake. They take spacecrafts and pierce my cornea with them. The barrier that protects them is broken. My screams of pain are never heard. My pleads of "Please, stop! It hurts! You are killing me!" fall on deaf ears.

    I am a physical entity. I am the sea. I am the land. I am the trees and the plants. I am the animals. I am the humans. I am you. 

    But I am dying.

Angry thoughts float about my head

as I lie down atop my bed.

I close my eyes, I take a chance

of sleeping through another demon dance.

Hours of stillness, in which I lie

while ghoulish things sing me horrid lullabies.

I'm scared, they cackle as I weep

but, finally, I drift to sleep

My slumber is less than restful

as the nightmares that plague me become direful.

The sun wakes as I do, yawning over the sky

while I rise from my demon dance and wipe scalding tears from my eyes.

Golden light pours in through my window, coaxing me to start my day

I draw the curtains shut and go back to bed

There is no point in waking up

Sleeping hurts less, anyway

The smell of food invites me to indulge

My stomach churns and pushes me out of the kitchen

Weathered hands shake from malnutrition 

I can't remember my last full meal

Reading, writing, dancing, singing

Things I used to love

No more motivation, no more energy

All I sing now are my songs of sadness

As I wake up each morning

I hold unrelenting darkness in my mind

My heart, filled with exhaust

Beats anxiety through my veins

Loneliness fills my stomach so

I have no space for breakfast

Glaring, hating eyes

They burn holes through my back

With each unwanted breath

I inhale sadness like the sweetest aroma

Each insult and unkind word

None affect me, I've thought them all about myself

My brain is a cruel place to be alone

It tosses me around and slams me down when i'm already at my lowest

But as each though in my mind, beat of my heart,

expand of my lungs, growl of my stomach,

insult and hateful word attack me.

I know I will be okay in the end.

Because I, a beautiful creature, I hold the sun in my hands

I nestled further into her chest, locking her warmth in and the biting winter air out. This would be perfect, had I been able to feel my legs. Glistening lights of all colors, shapes and sizes were draped from street lamps like aerialists cavorting from their rich silks. I nearly laughed at the study of stark contrasts, the beautiful bulbs loftily bathing the streets in their glory against the intensity of the gothic ambiance the lamps projected. It seemed a warning of sorts, all good in this world came with a darkness. A price. Some more than a person could pay in a lifetime. Almost like this. I was all too thrilled to spend Christmas in the city with my beloved, but I feared if I didn't warm up soon, I'd lose my limbs to frostbite's spindly fingers.

    "B-Beryl, can we g-go ins-side?" I requested, through chattering teeth. She looked my person up and down, seemingly noticing my violent shivering for the first time.

    "Of course, Aadhira," she started. She helped me to stand until I began to feel anything from my hips down. "Why didn't you ask before?" 

    A large swoop of my arm gestured toward the beauty of this city. "I-it's gorgeous. I d-didn't want to l-leave it." The smile she offered in return thawed any chill left rattling my bones. Cold snow seeped in through the sneakers I'd foolishly chosen to wear. I should've selected my boots. We continued to hobble our way to the tea shoppe we'd found not far from the large Christmas tree city people flocked to by the hundreds. Father Christmas released a breath in our direction. A gust of arctic air filed with bits of snow wound It's serpentine body around me, finding It's way under my clothing and eliciting a hard turbulence to ring through my body.

    We finally made it into the cozy shoppe. The walls were decorated in marvels of brown, yellow and light orange, swirling like the fire raging in the mantel by the glass case of sweets divined from the heavens. I reserved us a table closest to the fire. After ordering, a small tea service was brought to our table, along with a delectable looking slice of chocolate cake with raspberry ganache and espresso icing. I brought a forkful of guilty pleasure to my mouth and savored the taste of it. Jasmine and bergamot wafted from our cups, igniting my senses and warming my heart. Beryl reached over and grasped my hand in hers.

This was perfect.

I approached with my hands raised to either side of me, letting her know I intend no harm. She still sat there, head in  hands, fingers twisting and pulling at long amber locks, panting like a feral animal. I stopped moving and lowered my arms. Feral animal? My heart sunk to my knees at what i'd just thought. She was not a bloodthirsty creature, ready to strike, she was my sister. She was scared and panicking, yet I was treating her like a beast.

    I took my remaining steps in stride, crossing to her bed and gingerly placing myself on the rich blue comforter next to her. Her face had been red, painted in worry and fear. I wiped a tear from her cheep with my thumb, cupping her chin in my hand. She leaned into my chest and sobbed.

    "Ollie...why are you being so nice to me?"

 Why would she ask that? I'd already thought of more reasons than I could count.

    "What do you mean? I don't have a reason not to be."

    At that, she pulled back, recoiling into herself. "Mom isn't nice anymore. Dad hates me. Even Milo won't look me in the eye."

    "Look, Rowan, They...they don't hate you, They're just new to this." I rewound the fight in my head. Screaming, crying, glass shattering. Dad got mad. He got really mad. Even went so far as to throw a vase at her. All because of three small words, "I like girls." I knew mine were unconvincing, I hardly believed them. I pulled her into a tight hug, relishing the sound of her sigh."Even if they do. I will love you unconditionally"

 Monsters don't have reflections in mirrors. They don't have green, decaying skin or piercing fangs. They wear bright smiles like rich silks and expensive furs. Only when those silks and furs are splattered in blood, or human meat is stuck between the teeth of those smiles, do we realize the monsters we held so dear. Looking at my father, I saw the monster he'd hidden from us. All of us. Maybe if i'd seen it sooner, he'd still be alive. In an asylum, but alive. Maybe my little sister would've lived past age six. Maybe her blood wouldn't stain his hands. The knife toting his gore dropped from my hand. Bloodshed to mend bloodshed, I thought. If not for him, she would live. Mother, I remembered suddenly. I tore up the stars and into my parents' bedroom. Pulling the key out of my boot, the padlock fell off the closet and hit the wood with a loud clunk. I'd locked my mother and brother in until I was done with my father. "Mom, Kory, it's okay, He's-" My words caught in my throat and the world fell away as I dropped to my knees. I could've sworn I heard a faint crack. Maybe it was my kneecaps. But I didn't care. All I cared about was the prone forms in front of me, or rather, the impossible angle their heads were lying in. He...he got to them too...when I was calling for help. Unfeeling, I crawled into the nook between the bed and deep brown nightstand, closing my eyes and letting the sound of sirens drift closer.