the winter moon stands at the top of his nest and bids adieu.

her colors changing,

her waist expanding and shrinking until they all blend together to disappear.

my hands have been frozen for days but i stretch my neck into space and give its swollen skin a kiss.

space is not empty but neither am i.

if the sun disappears tomorrow will we react the same?

trembling until our toes fall off our bodies?

waiting until the temporary darkness becomes permanent?

i wish i knew

i wish i knew

i take a breath and drown

is this what it’s like to retire?

the sun cascading over the fence

but this time i do not chase it

what is the point if you no longer have a lover?

weep on my shoulder

it makes me feel less lonely

i don’t have much to say but

will you maybe hold me?

i ask too many questions

and i cry during the day

night time i’m so bitter

and i die right where i lay

haunt me til i’m out of luck

or haunt me til i bleed

i don’t want to go crazy

but i want something to need

emptiness will embody you until there is nothing left except a thick carcass that was once you.

fog will grow until you can no longer see past those demons that have been taunting you and teasing you and telling you that you aren't worth a damn thing.

loneliness will come a long and it will taunt you through the phone in your hand. Loneliness comes in shapes such as the girl you like and the boy that you thought was your friend. They will post pictures and videos of them having fun without you, just like everyone else.

when all of this begins to happen to you, you know you are already too far gone to be saved by yourself.

I wish life was as simple as those pretty pictures that you see online. You know, the ones with a book opened to a random page and some coffee off to the right hand side and some flowers that aren't overrated sitting in a corner. I always wished I could sink into those pictures and become the girl that drinks coffee in cafés and let's the world fall behind her as the damsel is about to save herself from falling for the wrong guy. (I know you know what I'm talking about.) but I'm not that girl. If you look close you'll notice that the pretty pictures are always edited and you start to realize that maybe the book isn't so good because the reader decided to pull out a phone and take a picture instead of actually delving into the moment. Oh, and by the way, I absolutely hate coffee. Why do we try so hard to be what other people are? Why do we try so hard to reinvent ourselves into someone we don't even know?

This summer is gonna be about solidifying who I am. What better time than summer? That's when the best things happ

I don't understand what makes you so arrogant-

Your tongue is your weapon and your pride is your shield.

You pick apart my wounds until scratches become scabs and scabs become scars.

Who dealt you the card of insincerity?

Who let you choose?

You could have been happy, but instead you allow yourself to become submerged in distasteful accusations and thunder rolling skies.

I shouldn't care, I shouldn't have to-

But my pity is far greater than the hate I have for you.

You claim cigarettes can ignite your soul but have you ever met a firefly that doesn't try to do the same?

Summer nights are never ending and your smile could save me and every single breath I take that aligns with yours feels like I'm slipping in quick sand and never getting out.

I wouldn't mind being suffocated by you, not if kisses replaced your hands and wrapped around my throat.

You say the smoke you breathe out helps you relax but what about the ocean tide and its waves that crash endlessly onto the sand? I want you to love me like that. I will not cry if you leave if I know you will return every time and wrap me in your presence.

Do you think you will ever give me a chance to brighten your bones the way you believe your cigarettes do?

if i could write a song about you,

i don't think i would,

i want to keep our memories to myself.

maybe because i'm selfish,

maybe because i don't want them tainted.

either way, next time you call, please try not to sound like you're on the verge of crying

because that makes me miss you.

if i could write you a song

i don't think i would

maybe because i love you too much

or maybe because it's already been written in the silence in our phone calls.

just remember that i love you and there will come a time when i won't,

but we'll both be happy someday

and our memories will all be forgotten.

You are a broken girl that has never had the chance to fall in love.

You were young when your father died,

And now you wish you could do as he did,

Leave behind a family.

I wish I could save you from all the harm the world has done to you,

But you're already too far gone.

You think boys with strong hands will save you,

And you think girls with blonde hair hate you,

And you think your mother is ashamed of who you've become,

But none of that is true.

Don't you understand that life is tough but only you can make it easier?

Please learn to love yourself

Please learn to forgive

Stop selling yourself short

And maybe then you'll see a change.