As a small child I went to many funerals

Everyone wore black

The family woukd sit in the first pew

I went to a lot of funerals way back

I never understood what it meant

I never geasped the idea that the person was dead

My mom told me Heaven was were thay were sent

The coffin looked like a small, comfortable bed

As I grew older and lost more people I knew

I began to understand what death was

It's a selfish thing that everyone goes through

It ripped people away from you, doing what it does

My dad was out working with my brother

I was then 16 and in school

The lock down bell rang and we all took cover

We thought it was a drill, not a man who was cruel

I heard the gun then

I heard the glass shatter

I heard the screams

The gunshots stopped, I heard ten

Was my best friend safe? That's all that mattered

The man had been caught

And as we were starting to get up, I felt the glass

My best friend is what I saught

But I couldn't leave the group of my class

One by one we were picked up

I didn't see my friend, not once

I tried calling and texting, but there was no response

The next day I tried her home

Her mother opened the door

Looking tired and aged

I did not know what for

She had tears staining her face

Before I spoke a work she wrapped me in a hug

I was afraid of what this meant

I was lost in my head as I felt a gentle tug

Oh god, she really was heaven sent

Tears threatened to spill out of my weary eyes

My best friend had told the world goodbye

That was the gunshot I heard

That was my best friend being hurt

Years past by with her constantly in mind

I had understood loss and death much more after that

I would be lying if I said I kept on being kind

I just wanted her back

It was midnight when I got the call

I hadn't been able to sleep

I was told my parents were both in the hospital

I knew I was in deep

I got there as fast as I could

Only to be told I had to wait

I felt like I was a piece of burning wood

I felt like all I had in life was a cruel fate

I stayed awake, waiting for any news

I heatd nothing from docter or nurse

Until someone told me my parents were going to lose.

I felt like my anxiety was about to burst.

I needed the air, beforeI got hurt

I took a step outside and kept my calm

I just studied the lines on my palm

When I got inside I knew it was bad

"You're mother and father are dead," was all she said.

That's all it took for me to brake

I couldn't keep strong for anyone's sake

I was now left alone

In a world full of drones

As a child I wanted to understand death

As I grew older. I knew it was when someone took their last breath

I ended uo losing friends and family alike

And their deaths still haunt my soul but up this mountain, I will continue to hike

Society has expectations.

Society has rules

You’re not allowed to be different

You’re supposed to be ‘cool’

Picture too skinny

Picture fake muscles

Girls all feel confident wearing a bikini

Every guy plays football and hustles

Only straight couples are allowed

That cute gay or lesbian couple don’t exist

It doesn’t matter if it’s the right thing, you still act proud

But this story has a sick twist

Those outcasts in the corner?

They cry themseleves to sleep at night

To you, they’re a foreigner

Society may have inprisoned too them, but depression still might

They feel stuck in the blackness

While you feel stuck in the light

They feel lost in an abyss

While you sitt there with someone you despise and kiss

Two different types of people

Lead to their prison from the same cause

Both wanting to jump off the steeple

Both wanting to break society’s bitter laws

You wouldn't care if I died

At my funeral you would not cry

Did you ever think the hate that I hide

Might just be hidden in my eyes

Inside you don't know how loud I scream

On the outside I look fine, is that how I seem?

I refuse to scream and cry

I refuse to tell the world goodbye

After death there is no pain

Apparently everyone thinks I'm sane

Just how stable do I look?

I really can't be read like a book

The scars that won't heal

Are the ones I actually feel

The people I don't hate

Are the only ones that can save me from this broken fate