If tha sky is tha limit, call me above average, in a world full of fools call me tha wise master, as I float above tha rest on a natural high, a woman, God’s greatest creation, fills my face with sunshine, I never been tha type to play tha field, descendant from slaves I’d rather build than get fed a meal, so my position is set, a woman, that’s right, God’s greatest creation, makes this simple man take flight, deep breaths and hope, my world is nothin but wide space and boast, every young savage in tha world wants to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, but a woman, yeah God’s greatest creation makes me feel like Ali, I could talk for a century to explain how much she means to me, but end tha end all that matters is that tha end in what she brings to me.

Let me tell u what to expect. I can promise u this. It will be like nothing u've ever experienced, but as good as anything u've known. I can't promise u perfection, but I promise to strive to perfect tha way I make u feel loved. I can't promise u satisfaction, but I promise to seek ever ounce of joy your heart can hold. I can't promise u life, but I can promise that life without u is not on my agenda. All these things u want me to expect, I do.

When the Hope is Gone

Oceans of hate, drowning my hope, anger floats on the incoming tide, a company of misery creating a forty foot wave that smashes the shores of destiny, casualties rise in an invisible war, no sides to choose just opportunities to lose hope, those that claim to be fearless realize that they are peerless when staring in the face of adversity, smiles turn to frowns at the first crack in the mirror, enemies closer than family and friends do more damage with doubt than the sharpest of swords, armors of false pride offer no protection when words of small meaning create huge craters in emotional foundations, cracks that spread in the mirror feel like scars that never heal, those that love you most become lost in a sea of unfamiliar faces, acceptance becomes priority one when performances are judged by the competition, how do victors still emerge above the masses if the one vote cast is for self, how is character not greater than wealth, satisfaction more important that health, it equals death to the future when there's no hope left, serenity seekers travel the world in pursuit of a homegrown solution, focused on everything around to reach inner peace, no hope for the gentle soul when depression peaks, selfies with no likes get weaponized and utilized to make you second guess, worry and stress, somehow it was forgotten that media was about social interest, cyber bullies exist to suppress the ideas of the meek, popularity makes the direction of social senses weak until reflections speak the same words that made you feel cheap, when the hope is all gone, the fear becomes me

The Chain Game

I feel like I'm surrounded by mental vacancies, no deliverance from the empty ideas that lead to oppression, reality entertainment seduces the world into a game of follow the leader, northern directions as true as the north pole lit with Rudolph's nose, relations crumble beneath the expectations of fantasies, children see physical differences as damages, an authentic, incredible creation receives synthetic replacement from pretend healers in exchange for lifestyle enhancements, ironically the more you hate yourself, the richer you make them, dreams of innovation suppressed by the daily doses of likes and retweets, creating a world of repeats to look unique, the result is less differences than identical twins, programming masked as whims until choices match the statistics given as proof of the very influence we claim to rebel against, why would I want another Van Gogh, energy wasted on a copy could have defined an age, who allowed critics to control artistic ways, what made the pedestal the destination if the journey is the definition of life, I say freer thoughts bring clearer sight, a moment of silence to reflect on the shackles we invite

Trapped in Time

If time is of the essence, then every second is precious, every tick and tock is filled with lessons that make the lost moments more reckless, moments yet to be reached become more selfish, minutes in ecstasy devour days of reflection creating a void of wasted time, something so misunderstood until you lose it, a tool of torture locked in every living heart, wrinkles of wisdom weaken pride and vision until there's nothing left to see but Father Time's victory, cherished histories become sad memories as desires increase with the knowledge of living, hours of solitude feel like an eternity when the scale of time measures the blink of an eye in centuries, if tomorrow is not promised and yesterday will truly be missed, then today becomes a dangerous dish that must be consumed with bliss, what time is it, help me track these flashes of monumental insignificance, years of thoughtless existence compared to weeks of satisfaction throughout an entire lifetime, exciting expectations become a lifeline that keeps me alive and kicking, but simple reality keeps me caged in a continuous loop of time

You’re hung up on your failures, when you should be overcoming your obstacles.

You’re stuck in your head, when you should be moving your feet.

You’re overwhelmed by the choice, when all it takes is a split second decision.

You’re standing still, waiting to be motivated, when motivation only comes with action.

Chapter 1

Friday, 8:00 a.m.

Alandis James knew he was a real deal badass. At least, that was what he told himself in the mirror every morning before he left the bathroom. He was confident that people thought of Michael Ealy when they saw him, and he could see why they would compare him to the man. Take away the craziness from The Perfect Guy, and he was just as handsome and attractive.

Standing at just a shade under six feet tall, he was sure that his one-hundred-and-forty-pound frame was the epitome of athletic royalty. Surely if you subtract the muscles, that speed and strength, and pretty much most of the athleticism, he was almost there, he thought. Wasn’t he?

All black people are athletic, he told himself. Aren’t they? Maybe since he was light skinned, it was different. Yeah, he was skinny, and light skinned, but skinny was a type of athletic form too. Wasn’t it? He could even see his abs in the mirror when he took off his shirt. Or were those ribs?

It doesn’t matter, Alandis declared silently. At age twenty-two, he was a graduate of MIT and a promising software writer. He had all of the knowledge and tools to achieve any goal set before his extremely informed sight and become one of the most successful black businessmen ever. He had a future as bright as the sun, or so the professors and everyone else kept telling him.

A bunch of fantasies, he thought. It was amazing how perception and reality rarely seemed to mix. Most of his life, he had done what was expected of him. He’d pursued academics because everyone had assumed that a person with his intellectual capacity would, but it wasn’t what he really wanted. Truthfully, he didn’t even know what he wanted. In reality, he was just a geek. A top notch, grade A, certified dweeb. He had no friends to speak of, and that was including the other dweebs. Even the dweebs called him a dweeb. And they were dweebs! Seriously!

But that’s about to change, Alandis promised himself. He knew that deep down in his heart. Today was the day. His day of evolution. Today was the day that he would grab that mighty bull by its massive horns and wrestle his own path to greatness right from it. Today was the day that he would begin his predestined journey to becoming the super duper, swagged out monster he was meant to be. Today would be the absolute last day of his using the word, super-duper. Seriously!

And the most iconic part of his legacy would be that his geekiness had created the foundation for his ungeeky future. That his most crippling attribute would be his most important one. The geek less story, he thought with a smile to himself. If what he possessed got the attention of the necessary people, he hoped it would today, then his future was set in one thousand year old stone. They would be discussing him like the pharaohs of old, but in a good way.

As his thoughts turned outward again, Alandis repeatedly told himself that his future included the beautiful, honey gram toned receptionist behind the check-in desk before him as he sat in the waiting area on the top floor of Electrafyd Incorporated’s headquarters.

When he had stepped off the incredible elevator and caught sight of her, with her curly flowing locks sweeping across her left eye and the light makeup on her soft cheekbones, he had nearly fallen to his knees right in the middle of the room. She was like a sample of Cardi B and Selena Gomez, and anyone else that made every man in the world request assistance to close his mouth at the sight of her. He could see the Spanish features written clearly across her face, and the only thing he could think of was, O’lay.

Before Alandis realized that he was staring at her, she looked up. She gave him a slight smile, causing his heart to pound like an angry silverback had mistaken his chest for its own. As she waved at him and told him he was wanted in conference room one, his nervousness returned full force to help snap him out of the trance he’d seemed to have been drawn into just by the sight of her.

In a quick moment of boldness, he attempted to wink at her as he strode smoothly past her desk. Reality gave him a cold slap in the face when her smile faltered before her head turned away to save him the embarrassment, bringing him firmly back down to earth. Last day, he though sadly before taking a deep breath and counting to ten as he adjusted his tie and glasses.

He was only meeting the directors of the largest electronics hardware and software manufacturer in the southwest region, he thought. No pressure at all. No reason for him to be shivering like a child with hypothermia and sweating through his tailored Joseph A. Banks, pinstripe suit. Seriously!

Back when he’d had a father, the man used to say, “Every individual accomplishment is only a single step away. Just take one step at a time.” So Alandis opened the door and took a huge step into the conference room. He ignored the curious looks his entrance drew and hoped that he appeared a lot stronger than he felt inside.

As he gazed around the huge, mahogany table at the stoic faces seated inside the conference room, he had to take another deep breath to steady himself. He was no longer on a school campus, but he still felt like the weirdo amongst the normal people. And that was why Alandis couldn’t figure out why he was so nervous. He had been facing challenges far ahead of his time, with people treating him like he didn’t belong for as long as he could remember.

As his eyes landed on Luis Walker, founder and CEO of Electraftyd Incorporated, he realized why things were different now. He nearly dropped the cube he was gripping when he saw the man’s calm expression countering his shaken one. This man expected greatness from him. What if he couldn’t deliver? What if he wasn’t good enough? What if he just wasn’t that great?

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” Alandis said, surprised that his voice didn’t break when he spoke. “I am Alandis James. The future of Electrafyd Incorporated’s software division.” He reached out awkwardly to sat the silver cube in his hand on the end of the table, rooted to his spot and too nervous to step closer. The high and mighty, skeptical smirks that passed around the table came close to breaking his will to achieve his goal. One step, he told himself.

“I see a new beginning before me today,” he said as he took an unconscious step closer to the table. “For the future of Electrafyd electronics. for myself as a programmer. And yes, for every single one of your here today.”

As he recited the words of his handwritten speech, Alandis knew that he just had to make it past the first question he’d prepared to ask them. If one person responded like he planned, he would be okay. He would literally be able to relax and let his work speak for itself. This would be a done deal. D-U-N, done!

Today is the day that imagination becomes reality,” he continued. “That we take the unimaginably impossible and turn it into the everyday ordinary. That the world of electronic evolution starts and ends with Electrafyd Incorporated. So, I ask you this. What would you say if I told you that I could hold a fully sentient mind in the palm of my hand?”

“I would say,” the man at the head of the table cut into his presentation. Alandis knew that his moment had arrived. He could feel it. His shoulders rolled back as he stood taller and more confident as he awaited the green light from one of the most successful men in his state to drop his bomb.

“That today,” Walker continued after a pregnant pause. “Is not the day, for new beginnings. Good luck and good day, young man,” he finished with a head nod, rising out of his expensive leather chair.

“But wait,” Alandis said rapidly, seconds after he realized what had just happened.

“Sorry sir, but he said good day,” one of the faceless assistants answered, following the head of the company out the door.

For Alandis, it was almost like a movie line come to life right before his eyes. His favorite movie had been The Fast and Furious. The scene in the desert, when Letty raced the guy in the Dodge viper, and he was chanting, “Another one bites the dust,” had been his favorite line to speak when he was doing interviews and someone asked him how he felt when accomplishing something he’d set out to do. Only this time, his mouth was full of dust. In the blink of an eye, he found himself standing in an empty conference room, surrounded by the extremely unnecessary opulence of corporate luxury. Alandis James was just another failure.

How could this happen to me, he thought. It was something he’d never really experienced in his life. He had lost. He had followed the course that everyone had expected him to follow, and he had failed. While he stood in front of the huge conference table staring at his cube, Alandis tried to process what he felt at that moment. The numbness in his chest was simply beyond words. Alandis would have described his state of mind as ghostly, but he knew that expression was inaccurate when he was nearly startled to death by the receptionist calling his name.

“Excuse me, Mr. James, but you can’t stay in here all day,” she said softly, as if he was a fragile piece of glass.

And in a way, he was. Barely on the tip of mentally shattering, just like his father. Alandis was unsure how long he’d been standing there, glued to his spot in front of the conference table, but he knew immediately that it wasn’t where he wanted to be.

“A waste of space, I know,” he mumbled as he grabbed his cube and turned to leave. She didn’t have to smile at him in pity anymore. He didn’t need the sympathy plastered across her face.

“Hey,” she said as she reached out and grabbed his arm. Alandis had every intention of telling her exactly what to do with her sympathy when he turned, but he found himself staring into the most beautiful, light brown eyes he had ever seen face to face. And he really felt like he could see inside her eyes. They were deep. Better than the ones he’d seen in all those men’s magazines and Instagram photos of beautiful women. And he was sure they weren’t contacts.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” she said softly, staring into his eyes. “Even steel has to go through fire before it becomes the strong metal we use for almost everything important. We’ve all been there. Don’t give up, okay?”

Alandis just nodded. At that moment, with the sparks shooting up his arm from where her hand held a firm grip, he would have agreed to world domination and eternal servitude to the goddess that stood in front of his devoted, subservient eyes. Anything her angelic heart desired was only a simple request away as far as he was concerned, and he was pretty sure she knew it. But he also knew that there was nothing about him that would interest her even a little. All he had was brains. Her expression to his eye wink earlier was proof enough that he would need more than that to impress her.

The sound of her feminine giggle was what snapped him from the daze he’d allowed his thoughts to lock him in. And when he saw how incredible her full smile was, he had to stop himself from falling to his knees again. “Don’t stare at me like that,” she told him, her smile turning shy on her face and making it even more appealing in its innocence. “Or I might think that you’re dumb enough to like me.”

“Uh, actually, uh. Well you, uh,” Alandis stumbled as he tried to form a coherent reply. Her resulting smile just made the natural thought process of a human being that much more difficult for him. he gave up on his ability to form the words for a reply.

“Well, if you’re able to remember my number, you can call me sometime. Anytime,” she said before rattling off her number at a machine gun pace that he was sure he would need her to repeat. she winked at him as she turned to leave, mirroring his earlier attempt at flirtation with way more swagger than he could ever hope to dream of so shocked he stood at the sudden shift in his luck, he never got a chance to ask her to repeat her number as she disappeared through the door with another heart stopping smile over her shoulder.

“Legs,” Alandis blurted aloud. He was extremely grateful that she had left the room. He’d had no intentions of saying that out loud, but it seemed as if he’d been unable to keep it contained inside as he watched her leave. It was proof that I.Q. meant nothing at all when it came to people, especially beautiful ones like her. As intelligent as he was, his mind had gone completely haywire in her presence.

Normal was too generous a word for what he felt himself return to as he looked around the empty conference room again. Goodbye beautiful future, he waved to the room with a tight squeeze of his cube. Hello miserable present, he thought as he walked out of Electrafyd Incorporated, completely oblivious of the seething hatred that tracked his exit.

Man, pick one and let’s get this over with,” Phil stated, hoping to get the game started.

“Not yet,” Daren answered as he scanned the crowd. “These women aren’t challenging enough.” They were beautiful enough though, he added to himself.

It was the typical game they played when they attended charity events in the city of Atlanta. Find the most attractive woman in the building and see who she would leave with. Fun times, he thought with a smile. The key was that she wasn’t easy. She needed to be beautiful enough to turn every male head in the building, but independent enough to not be searching for just any man willing to talk to her. Most of the women at the party were at least mildly successful, but Daren was searching for the right one.

“Ooooh, that’s her right there,” Phil said breathlessly.

Daren turned in the direction he was looking, and his mouth nearly dropped all the way open. She was gorgeous. In a skin tight dress, with heels that made her legs look a mile long. A trim waist flowing into incredible hips that made his throat dry.

“That’s here,” Phil said again, tapping him to get his attention.

Daren just nodded, too speechless to reply. Her smile was every bit as captivating as he remembered. If he closed his eyes, he had no doubts the years would fall away and show a tender, young woman that stared at him with the most adoring eyes, but he had no intentions on closing his eyes.

He’d been cold back then. He was still a player now, but he was all about the notches on his belt when he’d known Katie. Even then, they’d been passion and fire for three weeks. And then he had moved to Atlanta. She hadn’t been as physically attractive then. Sure, she had a pretty face. And that smile, he thought with a chuckle. But she hadn’t cared about her body, claiming that she didn’t have to fit the Hollywood standard to be beautiful.

Daren had agreed, kissed her senseless, and disappeared the next morning. Now, here she was. A goddess before him, and offering him a chance to find the love he was truly searching for. And she was about to make him the easiest one thousand bucks he’d ever made.

“You first,” he told Phil, hoping his excitement didn’t show.

“Ah man. You ain’t even gone get to lose this time. We’re about to leave.”

Katie scanned the room calmly as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She nearly double back once her gaze crossed the familiar face in the sea of people, but she knew the game. Knew that if she showed weakness, she would lose. She smiled to herself as she thought of the last time they’d spent together. Losing was not an option tonight.

Finding an empty seat at the bar, she crossed the room and perched herself as seductively as possible, with an air of nonchalance that would have made her a star in Hollywood. She knew that every man in the room had at least taken a serious glance at her, so it was a waiting game now. She had thought it out perfectly. From her dress to the time she’d entered the room, she was calculated.

Her company had sponsored the benefit. The cause was youth centers across the city. She wanted to help the kids, but she also knew that youth charity events attracted the most women. Which made her little escapade worthwhile. She knew he would show up. Even if he thought he was going to seduce her, she was in control tonight. Exercise and history had given her the confidence to own the room the way she did now, and tonight, he was her slave.

“Hi, I’m Phil.”

Katie had noticed him approaching in the mirror behind the bar. “Good for you,” she told him, taking a discreet glance at her target.

“Awwh, don’t be like that beautiful,” Phil whined. “I’m just being friendly.”

“Well, you should try being generous This is a charity event,” Katie told him, then ignored him as rudely as possible. She was patient. She knew he would come. She could see him watching her in the mirror.

After two more attempts from other men, she gazed at him in the mirror directly, hoping he would take the hint. He literally ignore the women surrounding him as he watched her turn away man after man. A quick smile, and she was ignoring him too.

“Excuse me,” Daren said a short moment later as he slid up to the bar next to her.

“Hi Daren,” Katie replied instantly, recognizing the voice from her past instantly. This couldn’t have happened better in her dreams. “We meet again.”

“Well, you certainly have changed,” Daren told her, giving his best smile.

“Hopefully you won’t find this terribly insulting,” Katie shot back “But you haven’t.”

“Only the surface is familiar. I like to think that I have more depth now. That I’m worthy of a woman like you now.”

“And what makes you think I’m not looking at the man behind you while you spin your little seductive tale?”

“Because you know how incredible I am,” Daren told her confidently. “How incredible we are. Together.”

“Incredibly foolish,” Katie told him with a glance over his shoulder.

Daren watched the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen spring onto her face and thought about a lifetime of smiles like that greeting him daily. “Only a fool for you, sweet lady,” he said, not realizing how much he meant the words until he spoke them.

“You’re right,” a deep baritone spoke from behind him, shattering the moment like glass and snapping Daren’s head around quicker than a whip. “Only a fool would speak words of passion to a woman while she smiles at another man.”

The shock was so pure on Daren’s face when he turned back to face her that Katie let loose a girlish giggle. “Awwwh. Bye Daren,” she said, climbing off the stool.

“Let’s get outta here,” Michael told her, taking her hand.

As they reached the stairs, Katie glanced back to see a broken look on Daren’s face. She knew the look. It made her recall the long weeks she’d sat around her apartment after he’d disappeared. Of the long nights in the gym, sculpting her body. Of the hard five years it had taken her to build the confidence she’d once had.

She wanted to feel sorry for him, but she didn’t.