I met you when we were kids, we quickly became friends oftentimes inseparable. Both of us were too young to know what love was. We played on the block together, always at one or the other house. As we grew up we grew apart briefly. There were times I missed our bond and friendship over the years. I needed our friendship, I was going through something horrible and felt all alone, and there you were like you knew at that moment I needed you.

You brought light to the end of my dark tunnel, you gave me a reason to believe, a reason to feel again. I loved you from childhood and I honestly never doubted that you felt the same for me. You didn't hide that we were feeling something. At 7 years old we promised to love each other forever, our parents laughed and said "just wait you will grow up." When I needed that love years later it was there, you were there.

In our teenage years, we were bound to each other, emotionally, physically, spiritually When I cried through heartbreak you held me, when I was angry you talked me down, you held my hand when I was scared. Our friendship grew into more than just friends, regardless of how much we denied what was happened to those watching around us, we knew deep down what was happening and what were feeling.

You were my everything for so long, even when were with other people. We gravitated back to each other. Being near you was simply amazing, you always soothed my soul. We always had each other's backs, you calmed my fears and gave me the world. The excitement, need, and love I felt for you can never be put into words.

Then the day came that I realized my fate, I saw the decision that had to be made. I had to walk away from the one person who meant everything to me. Your begging me to stay made my goodbye that much harder. Your life choices made it clear I had to get out. My future dreams were doomed with you. You loved me unconditionally, as I did you, but you took a path that was destined to end up in a bad place.

For years I fought the pain, the what if I was wrong questions. I cried myself to sleep for years because I longed for your touch, the feel of your skin, your scent, the look of passion in your eyes. You made it hard every time we bumped into each other, I wanted to come back, I wanted to touch you and hold you. I wanted to feel your arms around me and listen to your heartbeat as you held me. No one has ever loved me the way you did, and I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. You will always be my greatest love, forever in my heart.

I walk along the beach under a bright white full moon, gathering my deepest, darkest thoughts. The thoughts in my head swirl creating silent noise, confusion, congestion, and a daily blur. The group of thoughts I have captured this evening leaves me wondering why the world is the way it is. Why is the city riddled with crime, people killing each other over stupid things? The drugs clouding the purest of people. What has this world come to?

As I feel the warm water roll over my feet, I recall the blissful memories of my childhood. A period in time when you could trust your neighbor. A time when the scent in the air was that of honeysuckle or jasmine, not the pungent odor of a local meth lab burning. The background noise was families enjoying outside time and birds chirping, not the blaring sound of police sirens and helicopters flying over. Where did that era go?

Those were the days that have become a distant memory. Children will never know the bliss and charm the city used to have. They are growing up with bars on their windows, and 17 locks on their doors. They have to peek out the window before running from the house to the car. This has all become the norm for people and they can't sleep without the pop, pop, pop of rapid gunfire in the night.

As I take a break from the walk and lay myself down in the warm sand, I am lost in my thoughts and worries. As I watch the stars above, I can't help but to think will this madness ever stop? Will we ever love thy neighbor again? What will these children of today grow up to be? My heart breaks for them, wondering if they will ever have the chance to be more than a statistic.

The youth of today is tomorrow's future, what will that future be like? Will they go on to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, nurses, or will they just be another number? Will they become part of the addiction or a lifer that has fallen to crime. Will they just be another statistic? Who knows, this craziness is their norm now. Do they hate it enough to make positive changes?

As I enjoy the last few minutes of my time on the beach lost in these thoughts inside my head. The quiet moments of escape like this are what I live for. These are the moments that keep me grounded, they keep me sane in these trying times.