Eye of the needle

Early in the morning, I caught myself staring at a windowpane. It looks stunning and extravagant. The raindrops suddenly fell down in the window. As I wait for my order, I saw the people outside. They were smiling and living comfortably. However, others do not. That’s when I realized that people were like different dishes with variation and unique taste.

A vivid tang caught my attention. It felt surreal that I will eat a premium steak in an exclusive restaurant. As I was about to take a bite, unexpectedly, I woke up.

The tears fell down from my eyes and my heart started aching. Sadly, it wasn’t the reality. Yes, I know. It was my dream. As I stood from my bed, I felt weak and fragile. The happiness that I’ve felt was gone. I’ve been living a miserable life. Honestly, I was trapped in my worst nightmare. Every night, I’ve been wanting to not wake up for the better. In that way, I wouldn’t be troubled, and I’ll be able to escape my anxiety towards my irresponsible parents. Oftentimes, I hear them shouting and fighting over financial matters. My ears keep ringing everytime that happens, but there’s nothing I can do. They won’t listen to what I have to say because each of them we’re proud of themselves. Compromise was never in their vocabulary.

In a blink of an eye, I woke up, again. I had a false awakening. It was my past and today is my present. I can’t breath and my mind is a mess. This is a familiar smell, a hospital. Now, I’m facing one of the most difficult battles, and that is fighting for tomorrow. In my whole life, all I ever wanted is to be happy, but it never came true. I grew up being jealous about how my classmates and friends were comfortable with their family. Nevertheless, when my parents visited me, I saw that they’re okay and are present to give me the best gift that I’ve been longing for. Even though, they have different partners now, I felt like they’ve supported me in my fight. After cherishing that precious moment for an hour, I closed my eyes and smiled gratefully.

This time, I won’t wake up from my dream or my nightmare.