Assume we’re in December or something

PS: I have not concentrated much on policy and what works or what doesn’t, so I have no idea who has better policies, but to me, a decent human being is more important than anything.

You know when you’re on a diet? When you do your best to keep away from that scrumptious looking dish that would break your diet routine, and then three days later you find yourself holding a creamy piece of cake in your hand, without knowing how it got there?

Well, that has been my life since I somehow decided to become a political enthusiast. First I was very much interested in the politics of Kenya – my motherland, and Ghana – where I reside at the moment. I would read Ghanaian news and watch Kenyan news on YouTube just to keep up with a crazy senator who shows up at funerals drunk, or some other crazy Parliament Membership aspirant kneeling in front of the Vice president – crazy stuff, I know- Then I heard everyone hyping about Donald Trump (I am almost proud to say I had never heard of the guy before 2015).

So I began my journey of eating fatty chicken and chips every day.

I love comedy very much. I am a fairly quiet person, who can stay quiet in a room for a whole day, just keeping to myself- but when I watch comedy, I actually feel joy, like real joy, I laugh out loud, I don’t even care about my surroundings, and I get addicted, man I love comedy.

My YouTube comic video binge-watch became an almost hourly affair. All American and non-American comedians talking about Donald Trump, I watched them all.

The emotions I felt during these video-bingeing sessions were very conflicting. It’s comedy, so I would laugh out loud, but then I would actually be scared, I guess I only laughed when Mr. Trump was making a fool out of himself, but then he would insult somebody and I would be scared, scared because where I come from you don’t insult people just like that, especially not people who are almost defenceless. That’s bullying, and I thought bullying is one of those social issues the world is fighting against every day, yet it would happen often and it was a laughing matter.

So I laughed and laughed every day, I especially loved watching the Daily Show’s Trevor Noah, and I obviously loved when he compared him to an African president, (most African presidents are actually decent human beings doing their best to develop their countries – my opinion (sometimes I have too much faith in humanity)).

After some time of fattening off of all the calories in comedy and laughter, I realized I needed to cut down, for instance, I had abandoned the politics of my two countries, and had my full concentration on Mr. Trump and Hilary’s emails.

My process of cutting down on calories 

I would abstain from all things American Politics for a day and at most 26 hours, and then I would find myself typing ‘y’ on my chrome browser (happens to many people on a diet). See when the things that tempt you are just so available? I would just type ‘y’ and I’d be on the YouTube homepage, where there were so many suggested videos for me to watch, and as you might have guessed, most of them were about something else Mr. Trump had said or some more email issues or something else totally time-wasting for a college student who needs to study hard, so that she could help her ‘African Country’ flee from chaos.

I even got to a point where I would always bring up Mr. Trump whenever I had conversations with people. Now, if you don’t talk much, and then the few times you do it's only about Donald Trump, it gets really weird, cause now everyone notices that you’re paying too much attention to Donald Trump (and it’s not that cool, I think).

Even the times when my friends and I have gone out for a drink, drunken conversations that were usually about tech and African development had turned into debates of whether Mr. Trump is actually a decent human being who is maybe going through a hard time, and is angry at the world, you know, like how they portray American teenagers in movies? And you’d keep hoping that like the teenagers grow up and stop hating their parents in the movies (sometimes…), that he would grow up and stop hating the world, and be a decent human being.

But then like that teenager who now decides to put on dark make-up, smoke weed and play loud metal, as a sign of rebellion, he would do something more despicable.

I remember going through Twitter someday and seeing that more emails of Hillary’s were released. And people sounded angry, very angry, and I was scared,very scared. However, since I did not want the indecent human being (my opinion), to win, and I did not want to feel scared that he was going to win, I had to go back to YouTube to get some encouragement, you know, from people who don’t like Donald trump.

Then I fell upon a video by Keith Doberman, where he was saying that Donald Trump should quit. I was encouraged, energised enough to study for an exam I had the next day.

This guy was so passionate about the issue and he kept shouting ‘BURN IN HELL!!’ I swear I have only seen such passion in church, when someone is praying against some kind of a demon! And at this time, I had the same kind of fear in me, the kind you feel when they are praying against the demon and you think ‘oh shit! The demon might come for me next!’

I don’t like to feel fear. But this is something I have felt more than once while watching the American political drama unfold. So, now, with just over two weeks left for all this to be over, I quit! I quit because I ought to concentrate on the elections taking place in Ghana a day before the American elections, and more importantly, I ought to concentrate on my exams, so I can do well.

I don’t know who I’m telling this, maybe myself?

Sometimes I wish that family had a special bond where everyone could feel what the other is feeling

Then my family would know me as much as I have come to know myself

Then my family would understand some of the decisions I’ve made and some I am yet to make

So that they could feel the emotions I feel when I am away from them for long

So that they could travel with me and see all the beauty in the world

But then again, there’s so much ugliness in the world

So many unwanted and embarrassing emotions I feel,

So many bad decisions I have and am yet to make

So much of me that am glad they don’t know yet,

So am glad that the bond is as it is

I get to love them, miss them occasionally and do my best to do what’s best for them

I am drowning again

Last night my boat capsized

I lost control

She said to stay afloat

As she wont be there next time

But I'm sinking

Is this it?

Am I gone for good?