Matthew
The last traces of paper squares
Razing your mind and sticking to consciousness
The milk of loneliness and a sleepless night
cirlcles running and sheep scared of fences
a train running late; forgetful
Dropping thoughts down the abyss
Do you hear them hit the bottom?
Stuck listening
Striking calluses, I feel it now
Letting the fingers trip over familiar strings
A returning runner meeting an old hill
It’s like a left it
But the bed is now cold
Trying to pull the lightbult from your mouth
The II-V-I
High highs and strange lows
The deaths float by
A bird seems to see the glass
Are they trying to break the glass or break?
Why?
They keep hitting
A quick flam tap and there two go
A collar is a noose
Red is a color that sleeps well
Forgettable person
I forgot you
Why is it now I remember
After you died once i forgot
Now I remember
Is it now innapropriate to be quiet and apologetic?
I am not sorry
God I love to say it though
Quiet slurred words met with masks
Opinions are polarizing
They are right and your are wrong
Discussion is effort and they don’t have time for you.
You didn’t have time for them.
Forgettable person what would you tell me?
Drink?
Smoke?
Laugh?
Fuck?
Have a puppet show with socks?
Late nights and cheap flavored vodka?
Climbing decks and cheap paper squares?
Cigarettes and swerving runs?
I thought you had a fiance.
Shit hit it but you seemed to be a fan.
You had a penchant for hitting fowl balls
she need you you know
The MS and now you.
What do you think youre doing?
what do you think you did?
He, she, them, me
We needed you
We needed to know that you were alive.
I forgot you.
I confess I forgot you and I’m sorry.
YOU did this
YOU selfish bastard
you
If were were sitting around that fire, what would you say?
Could you tell me that it was an accident?
Could you tell her?
Just come get a damn drink with me.
Call me. I dont want pictures and pseudosocials.
I want to talk to you.
I want to play dodge the goddamn mulch
I want to play trash ball
The kind of games brought on by a deluge of deranged creativity
The kind reserved for the terminally bored pumped full of Ritalin and criticism
Blond swagger
Women throwing themselves at you
Dirty jokes and travel
Young redheaded women and inopportune stumblings
Playing pool, listening to music
Making cheese steaks and why are you dead?
Tell me a joke
A shiva of thoughts isn’t so helpful
But how helpful is a shitty casserole?
You arent forgettable.
You should have had a happy family
Worked at a tire store and fucked off into the sunset but you had to not be forgettable
You had to carve your name bloody on my eyelids.
Let me sleep.
Sell Me Love
The mornings eve
the fever hits me again
and you come to tell me all the girls I love
I want you
not the way you want me to
but all I have are pockets and how their sides rub
You call to me
like how every night you do
with that old whining tune of love me
I give to you
but all I had to do
not what you want me to
but to wrap your head about what I do
my sleeves are red
won't you please just cut this cord
or love yourself before you love me.
Hands through the hair
I knew we couldn't do this for much more
Throw me off and kick me down
down to the floor
but the knife pierced the sky
to carve the daylight
the hands are dry
Tie down the rays
and cap their ends
coated in greys
Ill shake your hand
watch me crease my eyes
Just like I planned
Down to the floor
The hands are dry
Coated in greys
Just like I planned
Head in my hands
Germany
Ripped jeans and ragged sleeves
clothes scattered on the floor and dirty dishes
unshaven faces and violent minds
still music breathing through a plastic bag
hands in the carpet and cement on the desk
a reoccurring name on a screen and churning
the singularity pulls and the wanes
The waffling of the fluorescent light
Papers stare and the dull blue lights flares
Vices dance like harlequins
Sex and loneliness saunter past
A bull in a china shop
A face whips and stares with all the clarity of a flame
Smother it
The black dog chases its tail
ceiling tiles wilt with eyes affixed
Hands on my face through the plastic
Hands that once loved me
But my parrot sings
Sings so loud and piercing
With brilliant feathers and a sharp beak
The abyss grows further
The hands from the carpet grab me
Almost blue and maybe green
Curly hair and a wisp of chewing gum
Lustful memories with the image of what the hands saw
Don't kiss me
Don't call the name
Let the past fade with lyrics on the tip of your tongue
When you come back "I'll still be here"
So leave
And let me lie
Minutes to Superunknown
In the end I am weak
In the end I fell on black days
Across the new divide I found I'd been outshined
He cast a shadow on my sun
I let it bleed and I blead out
I sat alone and cold like a stone
So I followed you and gave them their hunger strike
When you look at what I've done
You can call me a dog
Face the spoonman
But I fought numb
Me and You
When I look at you now
See you laugh at the feeling
Judas said you understood me
Awake ever yearning
Laugh again at the celling
The others drifted right through me
Sleep in aberrations
No escape from the haunting
Aspartame had tried to tell me
Why has it just started
The loop that's always playing
Sadistic joy, watch you cut me
Its just red never pink
Why am I always thinking
Don't say hi I'll say I love you
The life of Mars
I saw the box
what I left there for you
a package lustful mouths took
why does the color red hang deep
why does the dollar bill laugh with such colored tones
with such space and distance
A carrot on a stick
Candor from feted fingers
A fine exchange of osmosis
from something great to something empty
To watch pink eyes stare down projections
To wrestle with angels
Climb down the ladder
Try and catch something wedged between stones
And to realize you cannot hold it
But only choose between stones.
So bite your thumb
Laugh at the manacles
Black is ephemeral
A drum beat in the still
The beat to which the people march
motivated by the repetition.
Toothpaste on my shirt
Its hard to zip up the suit
the zipper gets caught
dunked into water
Pulled out clean
Purfumed a pig in a dress
cut your dimples in the mirror
made deaf with plastic
blind behind the glass
start my trek
tunnel vision makes it quick
Noise ameliorates quiet
The screaming silence
tandom lips flapping
Lipped figures
To placate only themselves
That Little Scar on your Lip
Just please don't make me stand up
Please let me sit a while
and drink a little more
Your face is so damn perfect
a marred moon ever gorgeous
I beat against my moor
Why wont you fucking leave me
Your company just hurts me
I'm stuck behind a door
Your hair upon my pillow
and bottles on the floor
more and more I love you
The chore I now abhor.