Sitting, stalling, sleeping late

Waking, washing, gaining weight

Endless ways to spend the days

Hampered only by malaise

Frozen dinners, paltry beer

Employment status still unclear

Boredom, worry, anxious news

Party-goers still obtuse

--

Friends and family safe and sound

Music, books, and art abound

Time to self-reflect and learn

Sharing hopes and fears in turn

Neighbor helping neighbor still

Community with iron will

Tested, tried, survived before

We can wait a little more

The first woman who was in her way didn't even see the flash of the gold buckle from the purse as it collided with her temple. Had Helaine stopped to inspect her victim's face further, she might have been quite amused to see the "MK" imprint left on the side of the woman's head, a deepening purple bruise beginning to develop around the letters like a hastily-done tattoo.

The next obstacle came in the form of two teenage boys, their nervous expressions indicating that they'd likely been sent by their parents. When they made attempts to push Helaine back behind the rest of the crowd, she took advantage of their reluctance and aimed swift, sharp kicks at the backs of their calves that left each boy doubled over, clutching his leg in agony. She'd picked a good day to wear her stilletos.

The last pair in front of Helaine presented a somewhat different challenge--a mother with a young infant in a stroller. Helaine stopped for a brief moment, considered what was at stake, and pushed her way forward with a purpose.

"I can't believe how crazy this is getting!" she shouted into the mother's ear, as the mob of people around them seemed to close in.

"It's nuts! We're fortunate to get here at 7am, I heard someone say they're probably going to run out in an hour or so..."

"Well," Helaine replied grimly, "Times like these, we need to do what it takes for family."

"I guess so, but even--hey, what are you doing?!"

Helaine watched as the stroller she'd pulled from the mother and pushed aside rolled steadily back into the produce aisle. The mother, temporarily shocked by the betrayal, raced after her child, hurling obscenities back at Helaine as she ran.

Helaine shrugged; experiences like this would toughen up the naive ones for the next crisis. She grabbed what she'd come for, and elbowed her way back out of the crowd.

"Double-bag these, please," she said to the cashier, placing down the 36-pack of Charmin UltraSoft.

Snowball had a plan. He had always considered himself a better athlete than the other inhabitants of Cage 3, even before Sparky lost one of his front paws in that vicious fight with Peanut. The best performer on the Wheel was always chosen by the Ringed Claws at the end of the week, and there was no doubt in Snowball's mind that he would be the obvious candidate this time.

The hamsters could only trade conjecture about the fate of the Chosen Ones, but the most agreed-upon speculation amongst those in Cage 3 was that the individuals lucky enough to be selected were transported to a land filled with unlimited fruit, fresh grass, and a Wheel that was big enough for 3 hamsters to run on at the same time. If there was anyone that deserved the honor, it was Snowball.

Of course, his confidence wasn't always so unshakeable--three weeks ago, when Lulu was picked ahead of him, he had thrown one of the worst tantrums that the other hamsters had ever seen; it took several days for the Cleaning Claws to find and remove all the feces that he had bitterly hurled around the cage. Back then, he'd assumed, like many of his peers, that the Ringed Claws simply selected the hamster that could fit the most seeds in its cheeks--after all, what could be a more important skill to demonstrate his preparedness for the boundless fruit that was awaiting him? But he watched instead in cold disbelief as the Claws brushed past his almost perfectly-round face and scooped up little Lulu, who was determinedly panting away on the Wheel, utterly seedless.

Since that moment, he had spent nearly every waking minute training on the Wheel. When the other hamsters went to sleep after the last light had dimmed, he would sneak onto the wheel and perfect his stride, his paw placement, his body position in the middle of the ring. If they wanted to pick the perfect runner, they would have to look his way. He felt mildly guilty about spreading the rumor that led to Sparky's grotesque state, but Sparky was his only physical competition and Snowball knew he couldn't leave the Claws' decision up to chance. He had heard the stories passed on by the few remaining veterans about what happened when a hamster remained too long in the cages, and he had no interest in validating their grim predictions.

The last day of the week dawned with an air of anticipation. Everyone in Cage 3 knew that it was Snowball's time, and in fact most of the others felt that he'd worked so hard to be chosen that they were planning to step aside and allow the Ringed Claws to make an easier decision. Snowball, meanwhile, had heard the bell ring, indicating that the Claws had entered and would begin making their way towards his cage. He took a deep breath, steadied himself, and assuredly made his way to the Wheel.

He began running with the measured gait that he'd carefully practiced in solitude, meant to show off his rich ivory coat as he turned his head towards the two familiar vessels that were now descending upon the cage from the heavens. This time, he could tell that there was no mistaking their intention; his friends beamed in pride and barely-concealed jealousy as the Ringed Claws closed around the body of Snowball, lifted, and took him out of their sights for the first and last time.

Snowball felt a brief sensation of nervous anticipation as he looked down upon the only home he'd ever known, but the feeling was quickly replaced with the pride and elation of knowing that he'd finally reached the pinnacle of hamster achievement. He was about to bask in the reward of all of his dedication and sacrifices.

Suddenly, he felt himself being lowered. As his paws hit the floor, he looked around in excitement and saw a familiar scene.

This was just another cage. In fact, it was a little smaller than the one he'd just come from, only with a differently colored wheel and no other hamsters.

This didn't make any sense--where were all the other Chosen Ones? Where was the endless fruit and giant Wheel? And mostly importantly, how could the Ringed Claws believe that this was a cage befitting a hamster of his merit?

As Snowball ran to a corner of the cage and looked out at an unfamiliar landscape, he felt another smaller set of Claws envelope him with a distinctly less gentle grip than he was accustomed to, and pick him up with sudden ferocity. The Claws began throwing him skyward and catching him with a jarring impact that rattled his teeth and knocked all dreams of a hamster utopia out of mind. His last disconcerting thought before a particularly forceful landing dulled the lights of his consciousness was that he would need to run even more impressively for the Ringed Claws to return and transfer him back to Cage 3.

If you were to ask me, off the record, whether I knew what I was doing was wrong, I'd probably say yes. But let's face it--people love to bang the gavel with all this righteous gusto after the fact, and I think a lot of the backlash I'm receiving these days is from the media and news outlets spinning things as they always do.

In fact, if it weren't for that one article that the Daily published, I still think I'd be in office right now. A lot of kids that developed the disease--I forget what it's called, the CDC had this fancy name for it--were in Clark County, and everybody knows that's where all the low income and uneducated folks go to live in those rundown little ranches. Between you and me, I doubt there's a single one of my voters within a five-mile radius of that district...I had obligations, you know? When you see a check that'll pay for your entire campaign (not to mention your kid's tuition), what's a bit of extra waste into some small lake you've never seen?

Anyway, it doesn't matter now. I heard the new guy was able to pass the emergency funding proposal for the clean-up, so my guess is the water situation will be cleared up in no time. Like I said, I think this whole thing was blown out of proportion by the news--you can't tell me you wouldn't do the same thing in my position.