[Hey everybody, just posting this here to get some feedback. I wanted to submit this story for a contest, but I don’t know if it’s good enough. Any feedback would be great, thanks for reading if you do.]

Khiona

The summer was coming close to an end and I had barely done anything enjoyable. My father had come home once and we took a family vacation for a few days, but he left again quickly afterwards and it was back to my mother and I. I had spent some time with her in the house and went out with her occasionally, however, for the most part I was left alone to my own devices. I didn’t have many friends, but the one I did have had been messaging me all summer. Maru, from my science club at school, had invited me out to a gaming event. It was something to do with dungeons and dragons and while I had heard so much about it I didn’t actually know much. I asked my mother if I could attend and she allowed it despite it being so late. She just wanted me to constantly update her, easy enough. I was slightly nervous as it was my first time being invited out somewhere before and I had no idea what to expect. It was really fun though, I enjoyed myself and had a lot of fun for the first time in a while. The DM, I think, told me that I was really good with my math and that I had brought an interesting character. It made me happy because I had been working on her since I had been invited.

“You’re gonna be there for the next session right?” Maru asked.

“Same time, same place?” I asked back.

“Yup,”

“Yup,” I parrotted and slightly smiled at him. He smiled back, but then he made a strange expression and turned away from me. I frowned, worried that I had made him uncomfortable. “... I-I… I thought that your idea to seduce the shopkeeper was really funny. I’m both glad and salty that you got a 1 though.”

Maru sheepishly laughed, his cheeks turning pink.“Really? That’s so mean,” he looked forward and stared at the sky. We were both squinting from the blinding rays of the sun. It was just high enough above the horizon to do so.

I pulled out my phone and began to type out a message to my mother, “I didn’t expect to be out this late though. I just hope that my mom isn’t upset if I get home after dark.”

“Your mom is really strict, right?”

I locked my phone and looked back up at him, “Yes. Well-no… it’s complicated. She knows that I don’t… have many friends,” I whispered, “so she usually lets me off the hook with social events. I think she’ll just be happy that…” I stopped talking. I thought that I may have been revealing too much information to him. I didn’t want to weird him out or make him uncomfortable with the fact that I was lonely and depressed because no one liked me or wanted to talk to me, except him, of course.

“Khiona? Are you okay?” He grabbed my hand and I stopped in place. He stopped with me and after a moment of silence he let me go. “Sorry.” The silence droned on as we continued until Maru turned and started walking down a different street.

“M-Maru, where are you going?” I stammered out.

He hesitated to stop walking, not turning his head to look at me, “I, uh, take this way home. Text me when you get home. Bye.”

“M-M-” I almost got out his name, but became too choked up to call out to him. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I watched him walk away. My breathing became sporadic and I felt like my throat was closing up. I stood there and just stared.

Nothing.

Fuzzy.

Numb.

I knew what was about to happen. It happened so often that I was able to identify the symptoms. I just needed to get to an isolated area. There were so many openings to the forest that surround the residential area so I just needed to find one of those openings. I ran down the street and the more I moved the more out of breath I became. I was looking for which street would lead down to the park, but I was so disoriented that everything looked the same.

I blinked a few times and tried to see through my blurred vision until a swing-set and monkey bars came into view. I had no idea how I ended up there so suddenly, but it worked out in my favor. My throat was tightening and my chest was heavy. I just needed to stop it. Stop feeling. I wanted to go back to that emotional numbness, but at the same time I wanted physical pain. I didn’t know how to get it out. I didn’t know what to do without my mother’s help. I pushed myself into the fence that separated the park from the rest of the forest and leaned my head against it. I grabbed the links, lifted my leg high to find footing and pushed myself up. I tried to grab the top, but I couldn’t pull myself up. I dropped down and looked around for something to perch myself on top of. My fingers beat against every chain link as I followed the fence to the edge of the park until I found a large log. I pushed it up against the fence and used it as leverage to reach the top and hop over. I landed and fell backwards on my butt. Then I just collapsed on my back and sighed. I squirmed on the ground and let out whimpers of pain.

I rolled onto my stomach and smashed my fist into the ground. “Damnit!” I yelled. I kept smashing my fists into the ground and screaming out everything I had in me. I pushed myself up and wobbled deeper into the forest so no one would hear me. I slipped down the steep hill and braced myself for an incoming tree. I grabbed onto it, feeling my skin unpleasantly rub against the bark. I just held myself there for a moment, breathing heavily. Then I slammed my head into the tree and wailed uncontrollably. There was nothing else I could do but scream and cry. I pulled at my shirt as I slowly slide my head down the tree to the ground, curling up into a ball. I could feel my heart pounding from my head to my toes. My throat was tightening up the more I screamed and I became choked up and hoarse. I rocked myself back and forth and tried to let everything pass.

When I opened my eyes everything was dark. I had no clue where I was at, but the grogginess of my body, the heaviness of my head, and the scratchiness of my throat brought back what had transpired. I pushed myself up and leaned against the tree for support. I brushed myself off furiously, freaked out by the thought of creepy crawlies being all over me. I shook my body until I felt safer. As I settled down the realization of being in the woods in the dark immediately took away that safeness. I pulled out my phone and checked the time, but instead saw a wall of notifications from my mother. 73 messages and 20 missed calls. Most of them were from her but a few were from Maru. I unlocked my phone.

“9?!” My voice was raspy and crackled. “Oh no…” I looked around to see where I was at. I couldn’t remember which way was back to safety. The ground was only slightly flat but it was on a consistent decline. I remembered going down the hill so going up it would bring me back to the park. I felt the ground with my feet to feel where the elevation was and once I did, I began to carefully ascend. I couldn’t see a thing despite it being the full moon. The canopy of trees blocked off all of the light.

I kept feeling around with my feet and held my hands out in front of me so I didn’t run into anything or trip. It was a tedious and long process and I felt that I was going to end up with whiplash from looking up and looking down so quickly. I looked up to check for any signs of civilization and saw something glowing blue. I looked back down at my feet, then I looked back up again. Something blue? Two glowing blue eyes were up ahead. I couldn’t see an outline of the creature, just eyes. Human eyes did not reflect light in such a way that caused “glowy eyes” and there was no light for animals eyes to glow either. My mind raced with panic and filled with thoughts of what it could be and what to do. During the overload I remembered something about werewolf biology. Their eyes always glowed, regardless of light or not. It’s what gave them ultimate dark vision. I took a step back and as I lifted my foot from the ground I could feel it furiously trembling. The eyes lowered when I moved and a growl began to sound from it.

“Oh fuck…” I spun around and bolted. I had no other ideas than to run. I couldn’t fight it, I’m sure I couldn’t outrun it either but I wasn’t just gonna stand there and let it kill me. If I just kept running and eventually made a u-turn there was a possibility, just a small sliver of a chance of survival. I pulled my phone from my pocket and tried to open it up while I navigated blindly. I heard footsteps from behind me over my heartbeat. And then I tripped. Hitting an uprooted branch hard, I felt my body flying forward in slow motion. I held my hands out and braced for impact. I landed and rolled. I kept rolling until I smacked into a tree.

“Owowowow… fuck,” I pushed myself off the ground and looked around. I didn’t see anything and I didn’t hear anything. I knew it was about to pounce at any moment and there was nothing I could do. I pulled out my phone and messaged my mother, ‘I love you and dad’.

I woke up in the living room, on the couch. My mother’s face was above mine as my head was resting on her lap. She was watching her soaps, I could tell from the dramatic Mandarin coming from the TV.

“Mama,” I whispered. She looked down at me and just smiled.

“My sweet girl,” she caressed my face and ran her fingers through my hair. It was a lot knotty than yesterday. “Less sleepy?” she asked.

“I feel ex--” my voice cracked and nothing else came out. I could suddenly feel the scratchiness of my throat. Actually, all of my body began to ache. My head throbbed. I grew cold and yet there was sweat beginning to run down my back. I groaned and sat up. I got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen for some water. I almost walked right into the wall while as I was rubbing my eyes to ease the pain. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand before my mother grabbed my shoulders.

“Sweet girl, why don’t you lie back down?” She turned me around and ushered me to the couch. “You want water, right?”

“Yeah… Mama. I don’t feel good.” I must have been really sick for my mother to be so nice to me. I don’t even remember when I went to my mother to rest on her. I couldn’t think much. I was seriously drawing a blank. What day was it? Where was my phone? Where was my dad? Why am I in such agonizing pain? The TV is too loud. Even from all the way in the kitchen, the ice cubes being dropped onto the floor and in a cup were too loud. I just needed it to be silent. I covered my ears with my hands and pushed hard until it was just the sound of my heartbeat. Why was it beating so fast?

“Sweet girl,” my mother startled me when she touched my head. I opened my eyes and her face was right in front of mine. Despite her soft smile, I could see how her eyes were filled with worry and anxiety. She almost looked like she wanted to cry, but she was fighting to hold it back. “Here.” She handed me the glass then she sat down next to me.

“Thanks, Mama…” I quickly drank it all down and then placed it down on the coffee table with enough force to shatter the glass. “Oh no! I’m sorry Mama, I didn’t mean to do that!” I went to pick it up but she grabbed my hands.

“Hey, that’s dangerous. I’ll take care of it, you’re okay. You didn’t spill any water on the floor so you’re fine,” she ruffled my hair and stood up, leaving for the kitchen again. I shrank into the couch and stared at the broken glass. Normally she would have screamed her head off at me for breaking it. Something was really wrong. When she came back I asked, “what’s wrong?” She didn’t look at me when I asked. She just swept the glass into the dustpan.

“I’m just taking care of my baby. That’s all.” It felt like I could feel the sadness coming off of her.

“Mama, did something happen to Dad?”

“No, no. He’s fine.”

“Did something happen to you?”

“No,” she stood up and left once more. When she came back and sat beside me again, she grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes.

“Did something happen to me?”

“... Yes.” Instead of sadness, I felt fear. I could even feel her fast paced heartbeat in her hands. What was wrong with me? “You came home the other morning after you had disappeared all night. Do you remember?”

“N-No.”

“I don’t exactly know what happened to you. I did a lot of research. Something happened to you that’s going to change our family’s life. But Mama’s going to fix it, okay?” She grabbed my face and pulled me into her chest. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” her panic was causing me to panic. I could feel something in my chest tighten and cause immense pain in my whole torso. I think I was about to have another panic attack. “M-Mama-” I gasped out.

“You’re okay.” Her hands slowly ran up and down my back as she tried to calm me. She kissed my forehead and then rested her chin on top of my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to breathe with her. She inhaled and exhaled slowly whenever I began to panic so that I would follow along with her. She held me for a long time. Our heart beats eventually slowed down. The intense feeling of panic went away. The noise became quieter. “Khiona,” she whispered, “you are a werewolf now.” I think I could have blacked out in that moment. But I held on to my mother and her words. Believing that she would protect me and fix the major problem that was being turned into a supernatural. I thought maybe I should know what happened. Seeing as I didn’t remember going out last night.

“Can you tell me about last night?”

“I-sure.”

Xiao-Xing

All of the lights were out as I stared out into the pitch black of the night through the back sliding doors. Pitch black during the summertime and Khiona wasn’t home and no way to be contacted. It was unlike her to ignore me. She always kept me updated when she went out. Where was my little girl? I opened up the sliding door and left it slightly ajar as I walked out onto the porch.

“Khiona!” I called. I walked off the porch and went a little deeper into the darkness. “Khiona!” I called louder. I placed my hands on the fence and looked down into the dark forest. I inhaled to give another call, but my breath caught in my throat when I saw a pair of glowing yellow eyes appear. The eyes approached silently, with no shape to be seen. I quickly backed away from the fence and when I hit the door, a body bounded up and over with unbelievable height. Yellow eyes were the only thing I could see when it landed. I frantically tried to find the opening in the door as I watched the eyes. I tried to keep my breathing steady; finally, I found the gap and pushed the door open. I fell backwards and then slammed the door shut. The moment I locked myself inside the creature started to whine. A dog? I got up and flicked the porch light on to see that the yellow eyes belonged to a large black wolf. It came up to the door and began to scratch wildly to get in. The manner was more like a sad puppy than a wild beast.

“That… doesn’t seem normal.” Werewolf? Was it a werewolf? It was a full moon tonight. I kept in a scream as soon as I remembered it was the full moon. It had completely slipped my mind. “I can’t believe I forgot about the full moon! My sweet girl is-my sweet girl--” I took another deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut. Taking the moment I needed to not go into a full-blown panic attack, I spun myself around in a circle.

“Stay calm for--KHIONA!!” In place of the big black wolf scratching at my door was my daughter’s unconscious body lying on the ground.

I held Khiona close to me as she slept. I avoided the parts of the story where I was extremely negative towards myself; she didn’t need to inherit anymore of the issues I had. She still seemed tired and confused. She didn’t know what I meant when I said: “it had been hours since you said you’d be back from your game”. She remembered Maru but didn’t have any recollection of making plans with him to go somewhere. It worried me so badly. The hospital wasn’t an option because of the werewolfism unless I found an underground clinic for supernaturals. I would need to pull her out of school as well or at least take some sort of precaution before the school year started back up again. I didn’t know much about werewolf behavior and if the government knew anything they certainly weren’t sharing any information to the public.

I stroked her hair, twirling my fingers in her curls. I kissed her forehead and squeezed her tightly.

“My sweet girl,” I murmured against her head, “I’ll fix this. I’ll… I’ll hunt down and kill the bastard that did this to you. Mama promises.”

I miss Grace. It’s been three years which is no time at all to still think about the person who was once your bestfriend. Sometimes I think about finding ways to message her and reconnect again, but maybe it’s better to leave the past as it is; behind me and not in my view so that I can attempt to forget.

Inactively or actively searching, I find remnants of her scattered around my life. The picture I drew of her, the words we wrote together, events that trigger memories of her. It can be days, weeks, months, or years where I go without her on my mind, but the moment she reenters the impact of all the feelings hit me like a train.

I wish that I could be back in her life again. Seeing that she might have found somebody she wants to be with for the rest of her life hurts. I wish I could have been there for that. To listen to all her thoughts again and be happy for her and get to be by her side for the rest of our lives too. But I can’t. So instead, I try to move on so it doesn’t hurt anymore, but I always keep the fondness of remembering her close. And wish her a happy birthday from afar, every January 5th.