Keep your head up. 

Life will tear you down early

...too early.

You will have scars.

Mean, nasty, ugly, and shameful scars.

Both physical

and emotional.

You will grow cold.

Your heart will ice over.

Those things you once loved...

they won't be there anymore.

Those people that said they loved you,

they will tear you to pieces.

They will destroy your spirit.

Those people that you trusted,

they will chew you up and spit you out.

Those who were never supposed to hurt you,

they will destroy you.

There will be times,

that an end seems only just.

There will be times,

when the fear of just breathing will destroy an entire day,

and then some.

There will be times,

that you don't leave your bed,

or your bathtub,

or you head.

There will be times,

that the monsters you keep at bay

will break through and wreak havoc.

But have faith.

Not in some deity,

but in yourself.

Days will come that you are alone,

scared,

nervous,

devastated,

pissed,

exhausted,

and that will just be when you wake up.

There will come a year,

when darkness seems to prevail.

And those that love you,

have abandoned you,

or are the source of the darkness.

Just hold on and don't lose yourself.

Because at the end of that year,

things get better.

There will be one that loves everything about

YOU.

There will be one that shows you

you are worth loving.

Trust me,

this is the most important thing to ever happen in your life.

The monsters don't go away,

but now,

you have somebody by your side to keep them at bay.

So just keep holding on. 

Don't change a thing.

Everything you are going through will help you.

I promise.

Don't give up just yet. 

Count to ten.

And then count to ten again.

And keep counting to ten until that person comes.

You'll know when they come around.

Just take a look in the mirror

right when things are at its worst

and you seem to no longer exist.

Look in the mirror.

There is your person. 

Behind the glazed look.

Look deep.

You'll see her trying to get out.

Let her.

The light will come back.

I promise.

-A teeny bit older Alibear

The colour of pain cannot be described with the few colours that we can see. Pain is multifaceted. It is black as night. Green as envy. Yellow as the sun. Blue as the sky. Red as fire. It is the grey of an overcast day; the white of the walls in your room; the blue of their eyes. It is the pink of a flower; the green of grass; the orange of a sunset. It is the red of blood; the silver a knife; the peach of skin. It is the black of that signature; the brown of the table; the gold of your ring. It is the blonde in her hair; the pink of her cheeks; the brown of her freckles. Pain is no single colour but all of the colours.

The taste of happiness cannot be described by our simple palate. Happiness is complex. It is sweet as a sticky bun. It is decadent as a silk pie. It is bitter as vinegar. It is sour as a lemon. It is savory as a roast chicken. It is the meal of a first date. It is the salt of their skin. It is the first sip of coffee in the morning. It is the cheap beer at a music festival. It is the dirt on your lips after winning the game. Happiness is no single taste but all of the tastes.

Life. Life is what makes my life worth living. All of the beautiful things that surround me. The laugh of a child. The feel of the rain. The whisper of a kiss. All of life is what makes life worth living. Even the ugly things. The stories ending in one last breath. The collapsing of a building. The pain of a broken heart. Life makes life worth living. The ups, downs and turn-arounds. Everything about it. The feel of the sun. The bite of the cold. Everything that makes one feel alive. The late night talks. The early morning cup of coffee. Life IS worth living. There is no question to it. What makes my life worth living? The colours of the rainbow. The release of a razor. All of it. Every little bit of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Life will always be worth living...until my story is at its end. And even then...I will continue to live a beautiful life in memories and words. Each time dying as someone else’s story ends. But being reborn as someone else’s story begins. Life is worth living because life never ends. Life is life...and it’s meant to be lived.