Atheists In Heaven
Q: "Do atheists go to heaven?"
A: "Yes they do. But they don’t believe it."
Before I had an MRI, I had to fill out several pages of paperwork. The questionnaire asked, “Have you ever had any problems with anesthesia?”
I wrote, “No. But one time, in the operating room before surgery, the doctor was holding my head in his hands just before I went unconscious from the anesthesia and my eyes rolled back into my head and I said to him, “I’m going into the Light now.”
86 is an ironic age to die, especially when you’re taking out the trash.
Cockroaches can survive underwater for over thirty minutes. Why? Because they’re NOT witches. Thank you, Science.
The Principle Of Resonance
The scientific principle of resonance is defined as the increase in the amplitude of the oscillation of one system exposed to a periodic force whose frequency is equal to or nearly the same as the frequency of another system. This principle can be demonstrated easily. For example: when two violins are in a room together and they are tuned the same - if you pluck the G string on one violin, the G string on the violin across the room will vibrate.
The same principle of resonance occurs when you offer twenty dollars to pluck the G string on stripper, another stripper across the room will give you the same deal.
The Secret To Self-Help
Many people are skeptical about self-help and motivational material, but it really works. Five years ago, I bought Tony Robbins Personal Power program on CD. I left the CDs in my car, and then someone stole my car. Today, that guy runs the biggest chain of illegal chop shops in the United States!
"There is no poetry only poedo." - Yoda
Look, an fMRI of a brain
reading Finnegans Wake.
I tried and acquitted
to read it in Braille,
and seizured the dei -
before it was a pejorative:
a nonce sense book
unlike Borges’ Quixote short.
Up and through
to the leafscape silhouette
of mammoth oaks
full of starshine
plucked by my eyes
from the indigo heavens,
a winter harvest of skylights
in the trees
"He doesn't know what it isn't."
(What does the above statement mean to you?)