I imagine some day four years from now you will find me in a book store

1'll have tattoos and new piercings

but my vanilla perfume will be the same

you’ll glance at me although I’ve already noticed you

while i stand in an aisle of romance novels

your heart knows me and mine knows yours

I will say ”long time, stranger“

knowing you, you will apologize

i'll wish you well

even though I’d want you to stay

before you go to leave

I’ll say ”don’t feel guilty, we were only 17.

Even if you do wither away into a stranger,

You will never be a distant memory

but a suppressed one.

My throat, a perpetual knot when you greet my mind once again.

Forever needing your love,

never receiving so I turn to the man above.

Once my faith was in us, now i no longer trust.

I fear you’re too far gone,

so it will be you I forever mourn.

You said I was your only,

you solemnly swore instead you departed our love for the girl you’ll always adore.

It's the same old situation, you've got me waiting once again.

You, my favorite chapter,

I fail to comprehend why it wont matter.

What once brought the feeling of shooting stars,

now reinstate old scars.

Everyone tells me you’ll return,

or you'll be “free”..

Never the less you will still haunt me.

Its been a few years, some days i wish i never met you, or loved you...

Truth is i’m hurt.

You loved me until you didn't, then used me because i was the only one there after all the bs.

i just wish you didn't act like i don't exist anymore.

How do you get over it so easy?

The way you looked at me when we ran into each other, so much nothingness in your eyes, so different from when you used to look at me with sparkles in them.

i truly think our love was the once in a lifetime love, a love meant to last.

Oh well, everything does have an expiration date...

The hug I thought would deluge back all those memories,

Was the one that made me feel it was actually extinct.

That futile hug,

The hug that meant nothing to you.

The hug I thought would solve every complication,

That hug, the one that ended my biggest one.

That hospitable detached hug,

The hug I thought would be warm and heartfelt.

The tiresome worn out hug,

That hug I longed for.

That hug you didn’t want to participate in,

The hug I endured wasn’t the old one.

That hug that I contemplated would make you come to your senses,

The hug did nothing to you,

that it did to me.

I knew how this would conclude

yet I had expectation

I knew why I never truly granted one to love me

yet I decided you’d be the one

I knew I wasn’t deserving

yet neither were you

I knew I’d grieve you when I rouse up

yet you profess I didn’t exist

I knew we would terminate as strangers

yet I couldn't ever accept it

I knew I’d perpetually love you

yet you‘d turn away

I knew I was incapable of having someone to myself

yet you never wanted me anyway

I knew some would call me doolally

yet no one knew the things I’d do to have you back

I know I love you

Maybe someday you'll come back.

I permitted YOU engrave roots into my palms,

As if YOU ever showed any deservingness,

Though that never seemed to signify anything to me.

I’d sheltered YOU from frigid temperatures,

Only to leave myself congealed,

All for him I told myself, All for YOU.

I fed YOU as YOU forever devoured it all,

While I dealt with inanition alone, Yet you'd make a foul sound at anything,

All for YOU I repeated, All for him.

I started questioning the statement "all for him",

Your smile as beautiful as apricity,

Yet your lies deeper than a black hole,

All for you though…

No longer for YOU, All for me,

At least that’s what I try to tell myself.

The reality is, it’ll always be YOU.