I sit upon this lonely rock;

Amidst a rushing stream;

No human being dares to flock;

Where mother nature rules as queen.

The current dictates its own course;

Weaving to and fro’;

Even fish dare not challenge its force;

On and on it goes.

Robins and wrens chirp overhead;

Their feathers gleaming in the sun;

They know not yet what lies ahead;

Busied with contentment and fun.

Bees buzz between the flowers;

Going about their work;

They return to their hive after long hours;

There again they lurk.

As autumn comes, the leaves tint gold;

They flutter to the ground;

Floating down the river, cold;

Oaks whistling without a sound.

A cold wind blows across the grund;

Carrying the smell of snow;

Nature’s debt never dunned;

A wrath we shall not know.

A shadow passes overhead;

I open up my eyes;

No birds, no trees, no river, no bees;

Tranquility has died.

No longer is a river here;

The rushing sounds were manmade;

Nature’s hearth we commandeer;

To lay down asphalt we paved.

The birds that fly about our heads;

Shine metallic in the sun;

Unflapping wings glide in their stead;

No sound of a bird’s song.

Gone are bees hurrying from flower to flower;

Replaced by humans in their lust for power;

We rush from place to place;

No smile seen on any face.

The trees that once stood tall and proud;

Now lay dying, burnt in their shroud;

In their place stand our own towers;

Continual growth evidence of cowards.

Where has mother nature gone?

We killed her;

We killed her;

All on our own.

Stop feeding me your lies

Stop telling me your empty words

Can’t you see I’ve already died?

We weren’t meant to walk this earth

Together, oh, together

So just leave me

To put my pieces back together

Please leave me

To fix the parts of me you broke

Please just leave me

It’s all you ever want to do

So just go

This time don’t come back

Just go

You used to be so close to me

But your love felt like a ghost to me

Just a whisper, just a whisper

Well you plan backfired

You lost the one that you desired

So just leave me

To put my pieces back together

Please leave me

To fix the parts of me you broke

Please just leave me

It’s all you ever want to do

So just go

This time don’t come back

Just go

Don’t come looking for me anymore

I’ve picked myself up off the floor

And you’re just a piece of me that I didn’t put back

Because I’m a puzzle that’s better without you

So just leave me

To put my pieces back together

Please leave me

To fix the parts of me you broke

Please just leave me

It’s all you ever want to do

So just go

This time don’t come back

Just go

I’m always gonna be the one you’ll miss

I know that is for the best

But it wasn’t supposed to end like this

So just leave me

To put my pieces back together

Please leave me

To fix the parts of me you broke

Please just leave me

It’s all you ever want to do

So just go

This time don’t come back

Just go

I remember, I remember

When the moon shone bright

Down on the Claibournes and their Eastern might

When the Pale Lady glowed

And the Eastern snows

Were stained with the blood of their Northern foes

I remember, I remember

When the moon shone bright

Down on the Claibournes in their courageous fight

When the Pale Lady sings

And the mountains ring

With the proclamation of the new king

I remember, I remember

When the moon shone bright

Down on the Claibournes in that dark night

When the Pale Lady cried

Oh, the Eastern queen died

And the general was forced to fight her own side

I remember, I remember

When the moon shone no more

Down on the Claibournes with death at their door

When the Pale Lady vanished

The crown prince was banished

And the young princess, trapped behind walls of granite

You'll remember, you'll remember

When the moon shines again bright

Down on the Claibournes whose power will smite

When the Pale Lady returns

Northern cities will burn

For the throne, the young princess does yearn

Nathan, five

I stumbled down the grassy hill, chasing after Anna, arm outstretched to tag her. I chased her down the hill, around the copse of maples, across the narrow bridge that spanned the shallow stream, and down the path to the wishing well.

“Safe!” Anna exclaimed as her small hand brushed the stone of the wishing well, turning to me and sticking out her tongue while giggling. “I’m too fast for you, Nathan. You’ll never catch me,” she teased. That was what she claimed, but I always caught her eventually.

“Hey, you can’t stay there all day, there’s a time limit!”

She scrunched up her brow, her soft golden curls stirring in the breeze. “Well. . . you’re puppy guarding!” she retorted.

I sighed. “I’m bored, can we do something else?”

Anna stepped away from the well and into the sunlight. “Wanna go on the rope swing?”

Without answering, I took the opportunity to lunge and tag her. Having not expected it, tumbled to the ground, smacking her elbow on a rock. Immediately, tears sprang to her eyes, and I looked at her elbow to find a nice gash, already quite bloody.

“I’m sorry, Anna!” I said, feeling guilty. “I didn’t mean to do that.” I extended my hand and helped her up, ushering her back the way we’d come. “Come on, let me take you to your mom and she’ll clean that up.”

And so ended their games of tag, down by the wishing well.

Nathan, eight

I made my way down the hill, around the copse of maples, across the stream, and to the wishing well, looking for Anna.

“Anna?” I called. “Are you down here?”

“Yes,” she replied, her voice quiet and squeaky. I walked around to the other side of the wishing well to find her sitting on the ground with her back against the stone, her knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them, and a tear making its way down her cheek.

“What’s wrong, Anna?” I asked, sitting in the dirt next to her, my knee pressed against hers.

She raised her hand to her cheek and flicked away the tear, sniffling. “Someone at school today said mean things to me.”

“What did they say to you?”

“He told me that I’m dumb and ugly,” she whispered.

“Anna, you’re neither of those things! You are smarter than him for not saying mean things back.” I looked away for a moment. “Plus, I think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Anna turned to me with a hopeful look in her eyes. “Really?”

I nodded sheepishly. “You’re smart, pretty, and fun, and you should ignore anybody who says differently.”

She smiled at me and wiped her eyes dry, down by the wishing well.

Nathan, twelve

Anna flung the small and flat stone side-arm, watching it sail across the stream and skip—once, twice, three times.

“Nathan, did you see that?!” she asked, bouncing up and down in excitement. “Three skips!”

I searched around the base of the wishing well for a good skipping stone. Tendrils of ivy had grown up and over and all around the wishing well, adding a mysterious flair to it. The stone base had remained free of the green leaves, showing off its array of multicolored stones.

I found a good stone and joined Anna at the bank of the stream, imitating how she threw her stone because I had never skipped stones before. It splashed into the water with a disappointing tha-plunk. My shoulders drooped, and I sighed dejectedly.

“Hey, don’t give up that easily!” Anna said, handing me several stones from the pile she had collected. “Watch how I do it.” She demonstrated how to skip a stone, and I tried over and over until I got it right, guided by Anna’s helpful and at times annoying directions.

Even after I got it right, I continued to skip stones, trying to beat Anna’s three-bounce skip. Anna and I stood out there for hours, skipping stones in primarily silence, which was broken by the occasional joke.

The sun was dipping low in the sky, casting shadows across us. It was time to go home. I collected my remaining pile of stones and placed them at the base of the wishing well.

My best friend taught me a new skill that day, down by the wishing well.

Nathan, fourteen

Anna and I sat side by side up on the edge of the wishing well, swinging our legs.

“I feel guilty,” she blurted out, turning her beautiful brown eyes to look at me. When I tilted my head, she went on. “I broke up with him,” she said, referring to her boyfriend, the first she’d had.

“Oh, really?” I couldn’t help feeling a twinge of satisfaction. “Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said simply, resting her head on my shoulder. I looked at her—the soft and friendly eyes, the golden curls cascading down her back, her hand resting gently on my knee—and I knew that I loved her. I had always loved her in some capacity, but not it was different, and I couldn’t tell her. Not now, not ever; it would ruin our friendship, and I didn’t know what I would ever do if I lost Anna. She was my very best friend; we’d grown up together, always there to support each other when we needed support, and help each other when we needed help.

I promised myself I wouldn’t tell her, down by the wishing well.

Nathan, sixteen

I spread out the red-and-white checkered blanket, weighing it down to the grass by placing a good-sized rock on each corner. Anna placed the basket that held our lunch in the center of the blanket and sat down cross-legged beside it, pulling out the sandwiches she and her mother had made earlier. Her golden locks were pulled back into a ponytail, and she looked as beautiful as ever. I shifted my gaze to the lunch basket before she noticed me staring at her.

“Here,” she said, passing me my ham sandwich. “It’s got Swiss on it.”

I smiled inwardly, she had remembered Swiss was my favorite cheese. “Thanks.”

The sun was high in the sky, but the heat was surprisingly bearable for a summer day. Birds chirped all around, and a curious blue jay stood on top of the wishing well as he watched us eat, maybe waiting to see if we would leave any food for him. When I only had one bite of my sandwich left, I tossed it to the jay, who gulped it down hungrily.

“Hey!” Anna said, slapping my arm. “You can’t feed him or he’ll get too used to it and forget how to find his own food!”

I rolled my eyes and lightly shoved her arm off, stealing her last bite of sandwich from her hand and tossing it to the jay. She gasped and looked at me. She was always so cute when she had that look of mock anger on her face. Anna pushed me over and sat on top of me to pin me down, but I began to tickle her until she flopped over giggling. To my complete mortification, I leaned over and kissed her, my body not responding when I tried to stop. No, no, no, this was bad, this would ruin everything. But to my surprise, she kissed me back.

“I love you Anna,” I whispered to her.

“I-I love you too.”

My first kiss was with my best friend, down by the wishing well.

Nathan, eighteen

I sat up on the wooden covering of the wishing well beside Anna, her hand grasped in mine. It was the last week before college, the last day that Anna and I would have together for a long time. I would be going off to a local school, something familiar and close to home. But Anna had been offered a scholarship to the best university in the state, and she couldn’t refuse it, even though it meant leaving me behind. I tried my best to be happy for her and encourage her to go, but my heart was in turmoil. Anna had been by my side for my entire life, and know, after this last day, I had no idea when I would next see my girlfriend.

“Promise me you’ll call,” I demanded.

“I promise.”

“And you won’t forget about me?”

She smacked my shoulder. “Of course I won’t!”

“And you won’t flunk out?”

“Hey now, come on,” she chuckled.

“Anna, say it.”

She sighed. “I promise I won’t drop out of school and come crawling back home to rely on you.”

“Eh, good enough,” I grumbled.

“We better get going,” she said, hopping down to the ground and dragging me with her.

I stopped her before she could start walking back home, wrapping a lock of her hair around my finger. She smiled up at me.

“You’re beautiful Anna, inside and out, and I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”

I kissed her goodbye that day, down by the wishing well.

Nathan, twenty-four

I powered down my computer and grabbed my briefcase, throwing on my coat as I left the office and drove to the nearest florist, where I bought a dozen roses to give to Anna for Valentine’s Day. When I got back to the apartment we shared, I called out her name but heard no response. I searched the apartment for her and found a note on the counter.

You know where to find me. – A

Twenty minutes later, I arrived at the wishing well to find Anna sitting on the stone rim of the wishing well, a piece of paper clutching in her hand.

“Hey baby,” I said, walking up to her. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I handed her the roses and she sniffed them before placing them down on the stone beside her.

“You know,” she began, and that’s when I noticed that her eyes were puffy from crying. “I wrote you a poem for today,” she waved the folded piece of paper in her hand, “but I don’t think that’s what you really want.”

“Is something wrong, Anna? Did something happen?”

“I don’t know, Nathan, you tell me.” She wiped at her nose. “I’ve seen the way you look at the girl who lives across the hall from us. And I got jealous and paranoid, so I grabbed your phone this morning when you weren’t looking and read through your texts with her.”

I stood there in shocked silence, unsure of what to say.

“I know I shouldn’t have read them, but at least now some things are clearer.” Anna picked up the roses and shoved them into my chest. “I think you better keep these.” She hopped down and walked past me, but I grabbed her arm to stop her, turning her to face me.

“Anna, it’s not what it seems like, I can explain.”

“I really don’t think you can give me an explanation that would help,” she replied.

“Please, baby, don’t go.”

Anna shook her head. “Don’t call me that.” She jerked her arm free and stormed off, taking my heart with her.

“Anna, come back!” I shouted, but she didn’t so much as turn to look over her shoulder.

The love of my life broke my heart that night, down by the wishing well.

Nathan, twenty-six

I sat at my desk in my office when my phone rang. “Hello?” I answered.

“Hello, I’m looking for a Nathan Vasquez?”

“Speaking,” I responded.

“This is Dr. Liu from the hospital. A Ms. Anna Dupont has you listed as her emergency contact.” I froze at the mention of Anna’s name, the woman I hadn’t seen since that Valentine’s Day two years ago. Why would she have me as her emergency contact?

I had zoned out and missed the rest of what Dr. Liu said. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“Anna Dupont was in a car accident, I think you better come down here.”

I got to the hospital as fast as I could, asking a passing nurse where I could find Anna. I was told she was in surgery right now and that I would need to wait in the waiting room until she was ready for visitors. I sat in the plain waiting room raking my hands through my hair, watching the hour hand on the clock go around and around. Three hours and passed when Dr. Liu came into the waiting room to fetch me, guiding me to where Anna was lying in her hospital bed. My stomach flipped when I saw her. She was barely recognizable—her face was a warzone of bruises, stitches, and swollen cuts.

“Dislocated hip, fractured tibia, collapsed right lung, and forty-two facial stitches,” Dr. Liu listed off from her clipboard, sighing. “She’s a fighter, but it will be a long time before she leaves here. I’ll give you some time.” With that, she exited.

I pulled a chair up beside Anna’s bed and gently slipped her hand into mine. She groaned and tilted her head to look at me.

“Nathan,” she grunted, her voice raspy.

“I’m here, Anna.” A tear slipped from my eye. Despite the past two years, I still loved her as much as ever, I always would. “I’m here, and I’m never leaving you again.”

I wished with all my heart that instead of sitting in a hospital room, we could be sitting down by the wishing well.

Nathan, eighty

I gripped Anna’s arm tightly, helping her down the path and across the stream. The hip she had dislocated so many years ago was giving her trouble, and she leaned heavily on me as we limped down the path together. When we got down to the wishing well, we stared at it. The wishing well itself could barely be seen. Ivy tendrils had claimed it as their own, and the area was overgrown with shrubbery.

“Dad, let me clear some of this.” I stepped back so that my son could cut away some of the shrubbery. He had my build, but his golden hair was all Anna’s, although his was now tinged with touches of gray. When he had cleared away the undergrowth, Anna and I leaned against the wishing well, enjoying the familiar feel of the stones, even though we hadn’t been here in quite some time.

“Grandma, Grandpa, is this the wishing well you told me about?” my granddaughter asked me.

Anna and I looked at each other and shared a private smile.

“This is the wishing well,” I said.

The wishing well where tears were shed, laughs were shared, and hearts grew ever closer. The wishing well where my wife Anna and I lived out our final days.

When I wake up,

My first thought is of you.

When I think of you,

A smile is on my face.

When I have a smile on my face,

I silently thank you for it.

When I silently thank you for it,

I silently thank you for many other things.

When I silently thank you for many other things,

I realize I’d be nothing without you.

When I realize I’d be nothing without you,

I miss you.

When I miss you,

I wonder if you miss me too.

When I wonder if you miss me,

I question a lot of things.

When I question a lot of things,

I get scared.

When I get scared,

I wonder if I’m losing you.

When I wonder if I’m losing you,

I cry.

When I cry,

It’s because I love you.

When I say I love you,

I mean it with all of my heart.

When I mean it with all of my heart,

I imagine my future.

When I imagine my future,

It always involves you.

When it always involves you,

I know I never want anyone else.

You stole my sadness and made me happy

You made me feel as if your word revolved around me

I don’t open my heart, I don’t let them in

But you were my everything

You were my first, my last, my whole world

You took away my demons in a whirl

But you stole my happiness and left me nothing

You made me realize that all along you were bluffing

So don’t be surprised when I walk away

I’m done forgiving every lie that you say

Don’t be surprised when I stop saying your name

I’m done with you and your cruel games

Don’t be surprised when I break down

My tears aren’t the only things crashing all around

Don’t be surprised if we never again meet

Because I’m done just sitting here kissing your feet

And don’t be surprised if I stop saying I love you

Because you broke me, oh, you broke me in two

You shattered my heart, I hit the ground hard

But I still loved you with every broken shard

You hurt me every day and you never cared

And when you wanted me, you expected me to be there

I still love you with all of my heart

But you've made it clear our future's falling apart

So don’t be surprised when I walk away

I’m done forgiving every lie that you say

Don’t be surprised if I stop saying your name

I’m done with you and your cruel games

Don’t be surprised when I break down

My tears aren’t the only things crashing all around

Don’t be surprised if we never again meet

Because I’m done just sitting here kissing your feet

And don’t be surprised if I stop saying I love you

Because you broke me, oh, you broke me in two

You broke me, but I’ll break you too

I was walking along the sidewalk of downtown, on my way to the library for a small reunion of friends from my time at West Point. When I reached the library, I tentatively opened the front doors, somehow nervous about this. I continued to the back of the library where the large conference room was, and took a deep breath before entering.

I was greeted by a cacophony of voices―there were about twenty other people already there, some of which I recognized, including one of my close friends whom I had lost contact with over the past year or two.

“Ricky!” I called, making my way over to him. He grinned when he saw me and shook my hand happily.

“Jack,” he greeted. “It’d been too long, buddy.”

I noticed a man standing just behind Ricky, as if the two had just been in a deep conversation and the man was eager to resume it.

“Jack,” Ricky said, “this is my friend Clark.” He gestured to the man, who extended his hand for me to shake.

“Clark Brolin,” he said in a cheerful voice as he flicked a lock of his long hair behind his shoulder. “Ricky’s told me a lot about you, and the trouble you two used to cause.”

“Ah, yes.” I shared a knowing glance with Rickey, remembering a certain night at the academy when a few things mysteriously erupted in flames.

I pointed to Clark’s dog tag, which had slipped to the outside of his shirt. “You still wear that?”

Clark’s face darkened for a moment. “Yeah. It’s got the name of my old service dog on it.” After a pause, he added, “He, uh, was killed in an accident.” From the looks of it, his dog had really mean a lot to him.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I replied, patting his shoulder.

“You guys want to get out of here and go get a drink?” Ricky asked. “These people are boring.”

Clark and I nodded, and the three of us left and headed down the street to Ricky’s favorite bar. We sat and drank and talked for over an hour until Ricky got a phone call and said he had to go, leaving me and Clark sitting in awkward silence.

“What was your dog’s name?” I finally asked to break the silence.

“Bolt,” he said. “Like the dog in the animated movie.”

I grinned. “How adorable.” I quickly cleared my throat and stopped grinning after realizing that two burly military men were grinning and thinking about how cute a character from a children’s movie was.

Clark and I talked for what felt like just a few minutes, but the setting sun implied it had been hours. As we were walking out to go our separate ways, Clark stopped and turned to me.

“This was fun, Jack, I really enjoyed meeting you.”

“I did too,” I answered, taking myself by surprise. I never admitted when I liked something. Or someone.

“We should do this again over the weekend,” he said. “With Ricky.”

For some reason, I was a little bit disappointed when he added that part, but I couldn’t understand why I would be. “Yes,” I answered simply.

With that, we left.

Ricky couldn’t make it that weekend, so Clark and I ended up spending a lot of time talking again. Ricky couldn’t make it the next weekend or the one after that either; he had a family emergency that required him to leave town for a few months. Clark and I continued to meet up every weekend for several months, getting to know each other better and better.

On this particular evening, Clark and I were bowling, and the amount of smiles, laughter, and happiness that showed on my face was a new record for me.

I lunged and rolled my bowling ball down the lane, watching as it missed every single pin completely. I turned around and shook my head.

“How nice of you to leave all the pins for me,” Clark smirked. I caught myself staring at his face as he smirked; the way it light up his entire face made a wonderful sight.

Clark grabbed his bowling ball and sent it down the lane for a perfect strike.

“Admit it, I’m way better at this than you.”

I scoffed. “Oh it’s not even in question. You could kick my ass any day.”

After several minutes of silence, Clark asked, “How’s your summer camp going?”

I had told him about the camp I ran over one of our meetings, and he had seemed very intrigued and curious about it.

“It’s pretty good, although we’re a bit short on staff right now.”

Clark chewed his lip. “You know, I could help out. I don’t have a job right now and I could use the money. Plus, it’d be nice to work with the kids.”

“Really?” I asked, excited about the idea.

“Yeah, it would be great! If it works with you, of course.”

“I’ll show you around the camp tomorrow and you can decide if you still want to,” I said.

The next day rolled around and I drove to Clark’s place to pick him up and drive him to the camp. During the trip, I described what his jobs would be, and I was surprised when he got even more excited as I kept listing on and on.

We got to the camp and I showed him around. Some of the kids came running over to meet Clark, and I watched the way he talked to them so perfectly. I left him to talk to the kids for a moment while I searched for Evangeline, eventually finding her sitting under a nearby tree.

“I see you brought a friend,” she said without looking up at me, engrossed in her book which seemed to be written in Russian.

“Yes, he’s thinking of helping out around here. What do you think of him?”

She looked up and removed her sunglasses to get a good look at him as he crouched down to help one of the youngest kids tie their shoe.

Evangeline shrugged. “Aside from him being good with the kids and having an ability, I don’t know.”

“He is good with the kids.” My eyes widened. “Wait, what?! He’s one of . . . your kind?”

She blinked slowly at me before saying a drawn out, “Yeah,” as if it were obvious.

“Oh,” I said, unsure of what else to say. I wondered how he had managed to keep it a secret for months without me accidentally seeing. A small part of me was disappointed that he hadn’t told me. But for some inexplicable reason, no part of me thought any less of him as I did with most other Mistakes.

I strode over to Clark, saying, “So Clark, what do you think?”

He seemed to have a now-permanent grin. “I love it here, these kids are great. Can I help out around here for the summer?”

“Of course! I’m glad you want to.”

“Yay!” Clark gave a childish little hop of excitement, and he wrapped his arms around me in a hug, taking me off guard. My arms looped around him of their own accord, but I secretly enjoyed having him so close to me.

Over the next few weeks, Clark spent a lot of extra time with the kids, even after his jobs were done for the day. At one point, Evangeline caught me watching Clark, and she looked back and forth between us with a strange expression on her face before walking over to me.

“Are you going to bring him to the facility?” she asked nonchalantly.

“No,” I blurted without even thinking about it.

She quirked an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“Because I said so,” I snapped. “Enough questions, now shoo.”

“Clark!” I called, motioning for him to come over. He stalked over and I led him to my cabin so we could talk in privacy.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I’m just wondering what you think so far. Of the camp, the kids, your jobs.”

“It’s all really fun! And now I get to see you more often than every weekend, which is even better.” He draped his arm over my shoulders in an odd way.

I willed myself not to redden, but failed. I stood there staring blankly at the handsome face in front of me, thinking of how happy I’ve been since meeting Clark a little under a year ago.

“There’s something I want to tell you,” I began, my hands twitching nervously.

Clark waited patiently.

“I’ve only ever been attracted to girls, but . . . if what I feel right now isn’t attraction, then I don’t know what is.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. I stood there speechless, unable to think of a logical response to his question without making this situation worse than it already was.

“I . . .” I trailed off, thinking this was a horrible idea.

“You what?” he asked softly, goading me to finish my sentence.

I gently grabbed his wrist and removed his hand from my shoulder. “I have to go. There are some things I need to consider and I can’t think when you’re looking at me like that.” Seeing the expression on his face, I added, “I’m sorry. Really, I am.” With that, I slowly turned and walked away.

As I lay in bed that night, trying to fall asleep, I wondered what Clark was thinking about now after the strangeness of earlier. I sighed and silently cursed myself for acting so stupidly, but eventually drifted off to sleep. I woke with a start to a knocking on my door. I glanced at my clock, which read 5:21. I groaned and threw off my blankets and opened the door to find Clark.

“Clark,” I said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he replied. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“Nah, I was already up,” I lied. I opened the door further and ushered him in, dusting off a chair by the fireplace for him to sit in. I put a kettle for tea on the stove, and went to sit next to Clark while I waited for it to boil.

“So why couldn’t you sleep?” I asked.

He swallowed. “I was thinking about what you said earlier―well, what you sort of said.” He chuckled.

“Oh, yeah, that.” I looked down out of embarrassment.

“I’m pretty sure I know what you were trying to say.”

I looked up at him. “You do?”

“Maybe. But I want to hear you say it anyway.” He smirked at me.

“Um, alright.”

“I mean right now, Jack,” he added, his smile growing wider.

I took a deep breath. “I like you Clark.”

He furrowed his brow. “I know, I like you too.”

I shook my head. “No, I mean―”

Clark smacked my arm. “I’m just messing with you.”

“You know, you’re making this very difficult,” I said, glaring at him.

Clark waved his hand, indicating for me to continue.

Maybe if I just got it out quickly it would be easier. “I’ve never been attracted to a man before, but I feel things when I’m around you. I think I love you.” I said it all in one breath, as fast as I could.

Clark just sat there for what felt like an eon without saying a word.

“Well?” I asked.

“I’m considering,” he said.

“Considering what?” I asked nervously.

“If I should tell you I feel the same way or just freaking kiss you.”

I smiled. “Why not both?”

Clark leaned forward in his chair, so that our knees were now touching. “I like you Jack. A lot. As more than a friend. Wow, I’m making this sound awkward.” We both laughed for a moment before falling silent and staring at each other, embarrassed. Clark suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine softly. The kettle squealed in the kitchen, making me jump.

“I should go get that,” I said, clearing my throat.

“Or, you could, you know, stay here and keep kissing me,” Clark suggested.

I smiled at him. “I like that option.”

I can fight fire with fire

But I’d rather use water

To douse my own flame

Before I cause you pain

I can fight your words with mine

I can cross the line

But I’d rather keep silent

So you won’t hurt

I can heal your wounds with mine

You’re already divine

I’ll do what it takes

So you’ll be fine

I can fight your battles and mine

But I’ll never win

What does it matter?

We’re both dead in the end

There was a kid who’d bare turned twelve

When he saw his papa shoot himself

From that moment, he was changed

From that moment, he took the blame

There’s a weight upon his shoulder

It grows heavier as he gets older

He said, “the oppressed become bolder

As this world gets colder”

He whispered at his papa’s grave

“It’s my fault you ain’t getting older”

It’s not his fault he ain’t getting older

It’s our fault he ain’t getting older

The years fly by

And he don’t cry

He’s sixteen now

His head is bowed

He runs around drinking

Drinking so that he can’t be thinking

His mama cries when he stumbles home

Where he’s been, she don’t wanna know

There’s a weight upon his shoulder

It grows heavier as he gets older

He said, “the oppressed become bolder

As this world gets colder”

He whispered at his papa’s grave

“It’s my fault you ain’t getting older”

It’s not his fault he ain’t getting older

It’s our fault he ain’t getting older

The years fly by

And he don’t cry

He’s twenty now

Got himself a bride

She tries to steer him from the dark

But the drinks and the pills, he’d already start

She watched as he wasted away

All because of that fateful day

There’s a weight upon his shoulder

It grows heavier as he gets older

He said, “the oppressed become bolder

As this world gets colder”

He whispered at his papa’s grave

“It’s my fault you ain’t getting older”

It’s not his fault he ain’t getting older

It’s our fault he ain’t getting older

The years fly by

And he don’t cry

He’s thirty now

Can’t look his son in the eye

Doesn’t want him to grow like his father

Doesn’t want him to be another city robber

His wife left him five years ago

Told him to get clean before they gave it a go

There’s a weight upon his shoulder

It grows heavier as he gets older

He said, “the oppressed become bolder

As this world gets colder”

He whispered at his papa’s grave

“It’s my fault you ain’t getting older”

It’s not his fault he ain’t getting older

It’s our fault he ain’t getting older

The years fly by

And he don’t cry

He’s forty now

Kissed his mama goodbye

His liver’s failing

His guilt prevailing

He’s in a hospital bed

The years fly by

And he don't cry

He's forty-two now

Ready to die

He's gotten his life together

He and his wife are back together

But the damage has been done

He's with his papa once again