i think they care. i think when people say ‘cells send signals to other cells’ there’s something emotional in that.

do you ever find comfort in your body / do you ever find yourself sinking. have you ever been tired so you curled up and its just as your head hits the make-shift pillow you've made of your arms that you realize you were made for this. do you ever think about how your face fits perfectly in the crook of your elbow. do you ever realize your hands were made for leaning against. because i do and i think and what i'm trying to say is i think evolution is a form of self-love because; what a thing, to change your very structure just to live a better life. what an idea, to rebuild bits of yourself for nothing other than your own personal comfort. my hair is soft and my voice trills. i remember joy easier than i remember what not to mix with bleach.

here's the thing- i've heard all the poems about how we were made to fit into one another, how bodies can mold together like clay. i guess i never thought about it being for myself. i guess when i looked down at my hands i never considered the reasoning behind the swirls of my fingers being different from everyone else's. i guess i never considered the consequences of evolution, the implications of changing for your own survival- i guess i never realized it was all for my survival. all for me and myself and the ten minutes i spend looking at the sun rise in the morning. i guess i never thought about being created for me. fitting into myself like keys on a keyboard.

i guess i never thought about- i'm alive to live for myself. do you ever find comfort in your own body and realize it's always been about something you cannot possibly begin to imagine communicating with loving you. that its always been about you. i think self-love is something like an instinct