Things Could Be Much Worse

I find it interesting when I hear people saying that their life sucks. I'm not criticizing your choice of words. You're life very well may suck. I don't know what you're going through. Only you know that. But please know , there's different levels of suckyness. I should know. I just spent 19 years of my life in prison. I just got released from prison about 120 days ago- August 1st to be specific. I'm only 37 years old, so I'm sure that you can do the math. But you don't want to hear about my understanding of suckyness, right? You want something positive. Well, I'm happy as a stripper in a club full of rich men! You don't know how good it feels to be able to wear my own clothes. That's a simple privilege that people take advantage of everyday. I just spent 19 years being forced to wear a prison uniform: Light blue shirt, dark blue pants devoid of pockets, and brown boots that at times were excruciating to wear. It feels so good to be able to walk in to macy's and buy shirts with bright colors. It feels so good to don wide brim hats of all differnt shades and to hear people compliment me on my style. They have no idea that I just went 19 years withiout receiving a compliment on my clothing. In prison, nobody compliments you on your clothing. Probably because everyone is wearing the same uniform. How do I explain the pleasure of being able to walk freely,without being watched by prison guards with assault rifles in their hands. It feels so good to be able to hop on the transit and go to the mall just to eat lunch. In fact, the mall is so close to my house, I could walk there if I wanted to. Now of course, it'll take me 70 minutes to get there, but at least I have that option. And nobody can stop me from doing that. How do I explain the plesure of being able to eat delicious ice cream everyday of the week, just because that's what I feel like doing. How do I explain the humor of walking into an arcade for the first time in 19 years and not being able to play the video game beacause I dont know how to operate the machine. When I left society back in 2000, all I had to do was put a token in to the slot and play the game. Well fast forward 19 years into the future, where tokens have been replaced with prepaid cards. Nobody told me this. So imagine my embarassment as I couldn't figure out how to use the card for the arcade game. I figured it out by observing the kid across from me as he happily played his racing game. Speaking of kids, how good it feels to conversate with my 10 year old niece and hold my 3 year old nephew. They're not aware that I haven't been in the company of chidren in eons. When I got released from prison, I spent the first 3 monthe searching for a job. How do I explain the joy of filling out countless job applications. How do I explain the joy of receiving a job offer, but not being able to take the job because I didn't have the transportation to get the there. I began to get a little frustrated. The average person in my position probably would've contemplated committing a crime to get some fast money. I'm happy to say that those thoughts never even crossed my mind. I remained patient, and eventually I found a job. A nice little easy part time job that pays 14.50 an hour. In prison, you get paid 8 cents an hour for a full time job! So believe me, I'm ecstatic! It's not like I need a lot of money anyway right now. I don't have to pay rent or pay a mortgage. My mother is kind enough to let me live at her cozy house. I don't have any bills to pay, except for my phone bill. Speaking of phones, how awesome it is to step in to a world where the cell phone has basically become our lifeline. For example, I do my job through an app. If I lose my phone, or something happens to it, I lose my job. How awesome it is to look at facebook and watch YouTube videos. Facebook and YouTube is probably nothing new to you. But for me, It's very new. I've only had access to facebook and youtube for 120 days now. It feels so good to sleep in a big bed, in my own room, and have some privacy. In prison there's no such thing as privacy. So yea, there's different levels of suckyness. My life is modest, but damn it's great. No complaints. I mostly smile. Over these last 19 years, I've had a lot of my life sucks moments. But you don't want to hear about that, right?