Dear Mr. Savior,

I hope you are well. I haven't heard from you in a while now. When I needed you the most, you were there so will you be there for me now?

You were my confidante, and I know you knew that. The lessons you taught me are the values I plan to instill in my children someday. The words of wisdom that you left me with have become more valuable than any of my priced possessions.

You were just being yourself. I'm not even sure if you remember what you said to me. Let me remind you anyways. It was an unusually bright day and I was an anxious mess a second away from hyperventilating. The upcoming presentation in front of all those judgmental people would be the end of me, or so I thought. Then you swooped in, took me out of the crowded room. The walls of which I swear were closing in on us. You reminded me how to breathe and of all the reasons why I would do just fine.

The calmer, more composed me asked you how you knew exactly what to say. That's when you said it.

"People were never there for me so I made a promise to be there for everyone."

Then you sputtered and began justifying your statement with explanations of why no one deserves to feel alone in this world. What you didn't realize was that those words were going to change the way I lived my life.

Fast forward four years, and I try to live by your words. I try to be non-judgmental and assuring, everything you were. You even went far away from me so now I've got some huge shoes to fill. Though, I am now coming to terms with the fact that maybe I will never be truly like you.

Because you are one of a kind, and you know that.

Kind Regards and Lots of Love,

Well, you know who.

You see that woman whose smile is lighting up the room?

Do you know that woman whose magical hands are the cause of the fragrance that fills the air?

Hey, have you met that woman? Who is willing to sacrifice anything and everything for her family?

That selfless, gorgeous and talented woman? That's my mother, ladies and gentlemen.

Did you know I have fought with that woman all my life?

Can you imagine her shrill voice scold you from across the living room?

Have you heard that she's very picky about where each object is positioned in that very living room?

Are you aware of what she does when something is not where she left it? Of how upset she becomes?

I do, because that's my mother, ladies and gentlemen.

You do realize that despite all that, she is one of the purest forms of heaven on earth, right?

Would you be able to empathise with her decision to disregard her career in hopes of giving her baby the best childhood possible?

Do you know about all that she has had to deal with? The bitter fights with her only child, the long arguments with her husband or the lack of gratitude for all she does?

Can you believe that she's been so consistent at being an angel that there is no instance where I can criticize her?

I can't do either- believe it or criticize her. That's my mother, ladies and gentlemen.

So, in short, the woman over there? The life of the party?

You know by now that she's an angel, right?

Are you able to understand all that she and every mother on this planet do for their children?

Will you ever be able to fully express your gratitude to them? Will you ever be able to criticize that woman?

Me neither. That's my mother, ladies and gentlemen.

I miss you.

It’s been a year since you left us. You gave us your wings of wisdom and flew back to god, who welcomed his favourite angel back with open arms. You know I can never forget this day. Years ago, I was born today. A year ago, you died. 

I can’t walk into that house anymore without hearing your voice holler from the kitchen. It takes me a second to realize that it’s coming from inside my head. Your voice is always inside my head. During the hard days, I hear you telling me to keep my chin up. During the good days, I feel your radiant smile beaming at me and although I know you are nowhere around, it makes me feel a little better inside. 

The only grief I hold is how much pain you endured. Till your last breath, you showed me how to stay courageous and keep fighting to survive and strive in this world. While people must go and while I have made my peace with it, I will continue to believe that you deserved a more peaceful goodbye. 

Remember how our family had the wackiest superstition that anytime a clock stops ticking in our house, it means somebody’s gone? When I had woken up on the day, the clock had stopped. That’s when I knew you were gone. I knew that in the war against cancer, your heart had stopped beating. I’ll never forget that day.

Your daughters are not the same anymore. They smile less, laugh less, and talk less. They've finally learned how to stop fighting with each other. I think they've begun to relish in the comfort of having each other. They miss you. They know I miss you. I know they'll never forget that day. They can't look me in the eye sometimes. I don't blame them, I know what goes through their minds.

We'll meet again one day, and I'll hear your melodious laughter ring in my ears when I tell you that Buddy managed to wag his tail so fast, he sprained it.

Until then, I'll miss you.

Remember that time we sat by the water?

We talked about all the good times, and those that could’ve been better

The crunch of each chip that we tossed in our mouth

Was lost in the wonders of what we were talking about

Remember our laughter that grew louder by the minute?

Joke after joke that our parents found explicit

The glow of the moon that seemed to keep us alive

We didn’t realize, we had been sitting there since five

Remember how much our cheeks hurt from smiling?

Our eyes became watery, from crying

And we could not walk straight for an hour after that

So till we could, on the hammocks we sat

Remember what you said when it was time to say goodbye?

“I’ll be back soon, and that is not a lie.”

Forever in my heart, I will hold you to that

And all I can do till then, is remember our chat