Deep Blue Sea.
On a boat with my family in the middle of the sea, I look for dolphins and cool fish all around me.
Everyone's all laughing and having a good time. Then my uncle pushes me off and I start to cry.
Screaming and wailing crying for help, I couldn't understand why no one would help!
There were sharks and sting rays and water snakes!
But when I got back my mom said "Calm down Sara it's just a lake."
Reunited.
Standing there as the anticipation fills my body.
Excited nervous feelings crawl up my spine.
The car rolls up, and as they open the door the wind brushes my face.
She walked up and hugged me, her love ever so great.
Though meeting for the first time in sixteen years you could tell how she missed me. Then I spoke "Hi mom" she started crying, then she smiled and kissed me.
Rose.
The smell of roses oh so sweet, the petals softness so smooth and silky. Reds, pinks, and yellows fill the room. But beware the thorn these flowers have, don't let their beauty trick you. Listen as they tell their story, they mock and mimic mankind. Because just as the rose were oh so sweet, but just as the rose dangers lie beneath.
Anymore.
I don't think I feel anymore.
I use to feel everything, use to feel so alive. Now I don't feel anything inside.
I don't think I feel anymore.
My mind use to be so full with emotion, now all I seem to know is commotion.
A state of confused and noisy disturbance, my heart couldn't bear it.
My eyes use to shine with light, now I don't even have the might.
Because I don't think I feel anymore.
My heart was so warm with love, now I don't even care if I'm with the God above.
I don't know what happened to me, I didn't want this to be my destiny.
I've grown so cold and distant from myself, I feel like a dusty old book on a shelf.
Forgotten, not dared to be opened.
Because when you take a look inside you'll see nothing but the worn in, worn in pages you can hardly read because they are ripped and the ink has faded.
But don't think no one has tried to help me because they did.
Nothing they have said or did meant anything.
And nothing anyone can say or do will mean anything.
Why?
Because I don't think I feel anymore.
I Was Watching The Rain.
I was watching the rain in the shadow of the light. Praying for the strength to see another night. All I wanna do is see my judgment day, but I know that's a coward move so I gotta stay. I gotta stay strong so I can see my future. Even though my minds going crazy like a twister. I gotta stay strong because I know there's more good in life. But truthfully I don't even have the might.
I gotta stay strong to make my daddy proud.
Even thought I'm constantly covered by a rain cloud.
I gotta stay strong to prove myself wrong.
Even though my life's felt like nothing but a sad song.
I gotta stay strong, I gotta stay strong.
You'd think the more I say it I'd follow along.
But I was watching the rain from the shadow of the light, I'm tired now so I'm saying my last goodnight.
To Understand.
I will never understand certain things in life.
Like why my brain can barley do division, but yet some people are mathematicians.
Or why we let the color of the sky effect our mood in our daily lives.
Why the cold keeps me inside, but for some people that's where they thrive.
I will never understand, and maybe that okay.
Because I will never understand why I was given away.
I will never understand why God took the only man that made me feel loved, and why I throw myself to any man who claims he's a different one.
I will never understand why I can be having the best day of my life, yet still go home and wanna pick up a knife.
I will never understand why I crave attention, but when I get it I'm constantly trying to prevent it.
I will never understand why I'd do anything for anyone, even when I know they just use me and run.
I will never understand why I know my worth, but accept being treated like dirt.
I crave love, attention, affection. Because my whole life I've felt neglected.
I've always wondered why no one sticks around, and I will never understand what I did wrong.
I will never understand, and maybe that's okay.
Because to understand could break me in even more ways.