Why am I always so afraid?

It’s like a constant fever plaguing my every thought.

Some say it’s wise to be afraid, to have fear is not be weak but to be clever, cautious. But what i f it overwhelms you, if it tears you apart from within like a ravaging storm, one showing no signs ceasing, of surrender. What if every turn, every decision is constant doubt , the fear of failure, of weakness,of not knowing with absolute surety the next step. People say it’s wise to be afraid because they are no t , they don’t feel the bottomless ache, the startling anxiety. They don’t feel the reality of fear , the rawness of it it is a word to them to us it is a pain so deep it scars where eyes cannot see , where ears cannot hear where endless screams ring throughout the darkness echoing in the proceeding nothingness.

What would it be like to die to one minute have breath in your lungs ,to feel ,to cling on to the fragile thing we call life to enter a state of complete calm of nothingness, of darkness,of fear,of unsurety. What would it be like to watch the life drain out of a person, it is somewhat unbeliveable a cycle of nature so cruel so damning yet filled with such sorrow , to see able bodies working in perfect symmetry like clogs and hands on a clock ,to see the limp, lifeless arms unable to move. To see their eyes lose all light to become dull unmoving, unfeeling. Death is inevitable it will come and when it does it will tear down the false pretence of security we all pretend to have, with such immense force that you will know when it’s your time to go.

Death a feral creature, instinctive and with one intent to take, we are not immortal we cannot live forever , we tell ourselves a fleating lie , try convince ourselves of ways to survive to delay the inevitable but when death comes to claim and it will come we will have no such things to depend on , no family no friends we will be alone, death our only companion as it tightens the noose around our necks , taking us to become whole. It is not our friend nor foe , it comes to take and never gives, unwavering in time , it feeds on life to help it grow and one day it will outgrow life itself.

Why am I always so afraid?

It’s like a constant fever plaguing my every thought.

Some say it’s wise to be afraid, to have fear is not be weak but to be clever, cautious. But what i f it overwhelms you, if it tears you apart from within like a ravaging storm, one showing no signs ceasing, of surrender. What if every turn, every decision is constant doubt , the fear of failure, of weakness,of not knowing with absolute surety the next step. People say it’s wise to be afraid because they are no t , they don’t feel the bottomless ache, the startling anxiety. They don’t feel the reality of fear , the rawness of it it is a word to them to us it is a pain so deep it scars where eyes cannot see , where ears cannot hear where endless screams ring throughout the darkness echoing in the proceeding nothingness.