It has four legs,

a pair of ears,

a pair of eyes.

It's loving

and protective.

I have five.

A man's best friend.

He sighed, "But darling, we're all insane. It's what makes us human, alive. Without insanity, where would we be? The world, all together, is its own mental institution. Nothing would be right if were weren't just a little insane. The people, beings of this planet that we call home need to be insane to be able to create objects, machines we've never imagined. And yes, including life." He took a deep breath before sipping coffee from his favorite travel cup. "We're all at least a little bit of insane. And, yes, it's all right with me. I'll tell you this, don't let anyone take your imagination, steal your insanity, or tell you who to be. You're who you want to be and that's the magic of life. Be in your own control, Be in your own power. I've made the mistake of not doing that."

Tessanna.

Quite happy with myself and my life.

I'm not the most talkiest person,

not the coolest,

or smartest,

or lovable,

but isn't that what makes me me?

I'm not a big mouth,

a bit introvert.

I have barely any friends around my age group.

I'm a fan of superheroes.

I still watch Sesame Street and Arthur.

I'm content and shy most of the time.

I hate school, I enjoy reading and writing.

I've always dreamed of living outside of the village and into the city.

Never leaving the house I live in unless it's to the town store or my grandmas house.

I have many problems that I can't understand or take care of.

Nothing is right most of the time.

But, I'm Tessanna and I'm quite happy with myself and my life.

A guy walks into the bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

12:43AM, the sun set hours ago.

The clouds covered the moon and the stars.

It was a dark and cold December night,

a few days before Christmas.

The gunshots echoed in my head,

the sound wouldn’t leave.

There was four gunshots to the chest, one to the head.

I was sure one would kill him but I was angry, or scared.

Maybe both. He was innocent, he didn’t do anything.

All he said was, “Are you OK?”

12:44AM, sirens blare from multiple cars, looking for where the shots were fired.

I didn’t know what to do,

I stood there with the gun on the ground to the right of me.

I was still angry.

Not at anyone or anything but myself.

What have I done? Why aren’t I scared?

I have to hide the body.

12:45AM, I grabbed him by his feet, dragging him into the woods by the road.

I thought

Maybe he has a family,

Maybe he went to purchase Christmas gifts.

12:50AM,

I finished hiding his lifeless body.

Before hiding, I dug through his pockets.

I found a wallet.

$32. ID card. License. A picture of him, two beautiful kids with heartwarming smiles, and a wife.

12:52AM

I was still staring at the picture.

Two long minutes.

He did have children, a wife.

A family.

What have I done?

12:58AM

The sirens got closer,

There they were,

men in uniforms asked if I’ve seen anyone.

They think I’m innocent.

Should I turn myself in?

Should I find his family and tell them that their daddy and husband have gotten killed?

No. I can’t ruin my life.

But I ruined theirs.

I told the police no.

1:29AM

The police have brought me home,

I cried into the pillow laying on the couch.

I stayed still.

My mind was a mess.

What have I done?

Will this be the first and only time I killed an innocent man?

Death and loss is a part of life.

It isn't a phase,

it stays with you for as long as you live.

You can block it out but not forever.

It has to come back one way or another.

Pain is everything.

He was at the age of 84 in the hospital.

I was home,

I wasn't scared or nervous.

I wasn't happy or sad.

I was emotionless.

It was his millionth time to end up in the hospital.

I was positive he would be back in a day, a week, or two, happy and alive and back with new medications that usually lay by his bedside.

I was wrong, he didn't come home with new medications, he wouldn't take short walks with me anymore, he wasn't going to give me Bazooka or Spearmint gum like he usually does, he wouldn't call my name from his bedroom to tell me stories. He wasn't going to be there anymore.

He came home in a casket, he looked peaceful, he was resting.

He was smiling while everyone around him was crying.

I couldn't take a step into that house,

I couldn't see him not breathing.

I didn't have the strength to see him one last time.

I forced myself to stay by his side for three days while he laid there lifeless in a casket.

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I didn't cry anymore, I didn't smile anymore.

For that long week, I told myself every second, every minute that it's part of life and everyone goes through it. I managed to let a few words out to some people but I ended up in tears.

Everyone knew that death would happen for him soon.

I didn't.

I've learned not everyone is going to stay here on earth forever.

I've learned life goes on. You live then you die.

I've learned that nothing lasts forever unless you decide you want it to.

He didn't last forever, but his love did.

I was twelve, now am at sixteen.

My only wish is for him to watch me get my diploma this May.

Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get. There's a lot of surprises in life. -Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump (Forrest Gump 1994)

Life is like a roller coaster ride,

you have your ups and downs.

Life is like a bicycle:

In order to keep balance you have to keep moving.