My Heart Still Beats For You
You came into my world quietly.
You came when I needed a friend, a companion.
You came to brighten up my world.
You became the sun of my galaxy.
You left as quietly as you came.
You left when I found many friends.
You left me with memories.
You left with the light, leaving darkness to linger.
I have many people in my world now.
I treasure them with all my life.
I hold them dearly in my heart.
I think of them and live for them.
You may think I forgot you,
Since I have people to live for.
But, truth is, I only live because of you.
You are still my everything.
My heart still beats for you.
To: The Youth
I have long had a question in mind...
We are the youth of today, but are we the leaders of the future, of tomorrow?
It doesn't seem precise to think so.
Yes, we are only drowning in the ocean of drinks, playing in the field of drugs, and enjoying the illusions of pleasure...
But, have you ever thought, what tomorrow holds?
The beauty of the victories and success yet to come?
Wake up, my dear youth! Wake up!
Tear apart the mirage of momentary joy and come out!
Break free of the unnecessary bonds binding you to the past and the present!
There is still a long way to go to see tomorrow's beauty...
So, wake up, my dear friends! Wake up!
And bear this in your minds and etch it in your hearts;
We, the youth of today, are the leaders of tomorrow!
Sorry...
I have really tried but failed.
I wanted to utter the word,
Be free from all the pain.
I thought of telling you.
But, I don't know why,
I just couldn't bring myself to say it.
Every time I see you,
It was the only thing I wanted to say...
You pretend nothing had happened.
I see the pain in your eyes,
Every time you look at me.
And I know it's my fault.
We could have turned out differently,
If I just hadn't ignored it.
I know I have to say it sometime.
Before it's too late,
I wish to tell you,
"I'm sorry."
Chapter 2: Carl
Before we reached the hospital, the police had already made their way there. Emma and I took the elevator to the 4th floor. We turned the first corner and stepped in front of Room 405. The name placard read "Wren Sebastian" - my brother's name.
I ran my shivering fingers over the placard. Emma took my hand in hers and slowly pushed the door open. Officer Carl Ernest was the first to notice us standing at the door. He stopped wiping his tears with his handkerchief and made his way to us and took us into his arms.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't protect him. I couldn't keep my promise. I told you I would do everything to get him back. But I failed. I'm sorry, Kris. I'm sorry..." Carl hugged me tighter to his chest. I could feel his heartbeat. I could feel that his heart was aching, as much as mine.
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I, Kristina Sebastian, was born an orphan. My dad had passed away in a helicopter crash, 7 months before I was born. My mom had died, unexpectedly, soon after giving birth to me. I raised by my two older brothers - Wayne and Wren, and Carl.
Carl was the brother who was born to different parents. But, he had always been there for me even when my brothers couldn't. He was one amongst my closest family. Or possibly, the closest family I had now.
Carl was my brother's - Wren's - best friend - ever since they were babies. They had done everything together from showering to eating to sleeping. They had even entered the police academy together, graduated together, and joined work together.
Chapter 1: The News
Hot tears made their way down my cheeks, wetting them... as the news replayed again and again in my head. I felt my hands crash down to my sides, clutching my phone. I saw blurs of people around me, shuffling to get to their determined destinations. And here I was, standing in the middle not knowing what to do. It was as if, in that moment, the world had stopped for me. No, my world didn't stop, it had crashed down heavily.
I felt a pair of soft hands wrap themselves around me, embracing me with warmth. I cried into the shoulders, wetting the dandelion yellow shirt of my best friend and half-sister, Emma Seviour. "Why, Em?" I sobbed, feeling as if this was all my fault. But I knew it wasn't. But, I could've and should've stopped him from leaving that evening.
"I'm sorry, Kris. It'll be alright. You have me. I'll be there for you, always," I heard Em whisper in my ear. She was right. She would always be there for me and I would always have her. But, it would never be alright. It is never going to be alright. Nothing would be the same again, without him.
This had been the second terrible news we had received within the past three days. We couldn't bring ourselves to digest this news. The news wasn't normal. It had come in the most shocking way.
Slowly, I felt myself walking with Em, leaning on her to support me. We walked through the streets of our well-known town of Addison. I could feel my heart pounding as we kept getting closer to the place I dreaded the most. The place where you lose everything you once could've had. The place from where no one comes out of, alive. The Hospital.
Reflections
I’ve turned into a ghost of who I once used to be.
I can’t even bring my self to look into the mirror.
When I do, all I see is an image of a girl.
It is not me. It is a girl with a perfect life.
One I had always dreamed to have.
Those who knew me, bone by bone,
Knew my worst enemy. Myself.
They know my worst fear.
Giving up in life and unhappiness.
But now both of those have come true.
The reflections of the mirror are gone...
The reflections of the mind have taken over...
Li(f)e
Fair describes me...
But can the same be said for my life?
In the deepest, darkest part of my heart...
I knew, I never deserved to live a good life...
When they said they understand, they lied…
No one truly understands…
When they said it’s going to be fine, they lied…
No one knew it was never going to be fine…
When they said they’ll always be there for me, they lied…
No one was there for me when I really needed them…
When they said treat others the way you wanted to be treated, they lied…
No one saw that I was treated unfairly though I treated others fairly…