Before you,

There was only hurt.

It lurked within the shadows of my heart.

All love and happiness,

Sound asleep.

Cast down into a nightmare,

Where my cries of emotion,

Could not be heard,

And only contained the tears,

I could not weep.

Tirelessly,

I was single-handedly,

held captive,

In this eternal sleep.

Yet, as my mortality clock rested closer to my demise,

The heavens opened-up,

Right before my eyes!

Offering a welcoming-hand,

And a soft whisper.

I strained to hear,

The angels sing.

With no time to sleep on it,

I took the opportunity,

And began listening.

Soon, I awoke,

Gazing into the brilliant brown eyes

Captivating me,

From the blessing,

Of the most Gorgeous girl,

I ever did see!

She parted me back together,

With the whole-hearted compassion radiating from her chest.

The walls fell down,

My passion and enjoyment looked up,

As my emotions went on the rise,

My cup filled up!

Now, with a full container,

I can now attain her!

The girl of my wildest dreams!

The match between us,

Has no compare.

It strikes the most ablaze flame,

That ignites a fire,

Capable to burn in,

Any of the hardest rain!

What once felt like hail,

I was sufferin’,

Until, my Catherine,

Snuffed out all the pain!

Thus, proving grounds,

Whether in sunshine or rain,

We stand together,

And forever we will remain!

Corralled In these dark eight hours,

I cannot sleep,

How many more times must I count,

the same herd of sheep?

Hounded by the silence,

My thoughts cannot be heard.

My heart races at an alarming rate,

But if I’m being honest,

I lie awake,

In contemplation of my fate.

I can’t handle this.

I feel lost at sea.

With this pain you can not see,

Nor, can it be hand held,

Yet, I’ve been told,

I need to paddle,

But I feel nothing tangible.

So my mind is fishing for ideas,

Bobbing the afterlife in my head,

I’m treading in this black market,

Trying to catch a break,

Am I too selfish?

Yes...

I need to make a living,

For only myself.

I need to wade against the current sea,

I can’t spend energy,

on anything else.

If I splurge,

I won’t be able to save myself.

I shouldn’t purchase a one-way ticket,

It’s nothing financially,

I just can’t hurt this family.

I won’t own that pain in their chest.

It’d put them into cardiac arrest,

If they’d have to be making payments,

for me in a vest.

It’s perfectly fitting!

For others, may be way too angry,

And want to see me pay.

So instead,

I invest into a two-way,

For my soul to seek asylum!

It’s only right as rain,

Since this runaway train is my sole property.

Now, you have your likes and your numbers.

The followers' company that you've always counted on.

And I'm left counting the following association,

Where you seek the likes of me.

But, you've acquired the reverent relations you sought.

Are your companions really genuine?

Or are these affiliations something that is bought?

Under the aegis of forged fabrications?

Sometimes, I wonder if you still feel unaccompanied.

Or if you are sacrificing your authenticity.

Do you ever miss me?

Or are these prodigious people efficient?

Why is it that my coalition,

Is so deficient?

Why are our meetings kept in secret?

Am I only met to satisfy a kiss?

Because here I lie, in wake of these questions.

While you deny the truth from those that question.

Now I ask for true love,

And you assure me with the same undeniable question.

Yet, for some reason,

I feel like the only one breaking.

Without rest,

I'm relentlessly trying to pick up the pieces of my aching heart.

Because I'm wide awake with my hurting insomnia.

While you're falling sound asleep,

With a sound mind

and a restful heart.

I just want to write,

But I can't think of the words to spare.

All that fills my mind are thoughts of heartache and despair.

The melancholy brainstorm

Sends my mind twirling all around.

I can't seem to find any steady ground.

I am ensnared to this downhill spiral.

Always capitulating to its gape.

Fulfilling its appetite with a

Spoonful of urgency,

As it swallows me up into darkness.

Yet, none of this is my fault.

After being derailed,

From its once complex network,

It's the unfortunate path my brain has been bound.

It's the one track mindset,

That can not regain its ground.

I've always wanted to be law abiding

Lest, the falling motion

beset upon me,

Has no consummation.

Thanks to Isaac for his first notion,

My mind will never be set to rest.