I Thought I Knew What Love Was

When I was young, I imagined the great love of my life would be like a Cinderella story. I would find my prince charming and we would live happily every after. He would be tall and handsome. He would be smart and heroic. And of course, he would live in a giant castle.

As I got older that view changed, though only in context. I still believed that my greatest love story would come in the form of a handsome man who would sweep me off my feet in a grandiose wedding. Though I did meet my prince charming, and though I did have the wedding of my dreams, it was not, the defining love of my life. That would come a year after my wedding.

Laying on the hospital bed I gave one final push with a groaning scream that seemed to emenate from a howling beast. Certainly not from me. I laid back, having been awake for more than 24 hours at that point, glistening with sweat and thoroughly exhausted. I briefly thought to myself ‘what could be worth this’? And then they handed her to me.

She was so small. I wondered how it had possibly taken so long and so much work for her to come into the world. She had a head full of tousled, sticky hair and her eyes were dark globes staring directly at me.

Our eyes locked and for a moment it was like a full understanding fell between us. She knew me and I, inexplicably, knew her. For me it was the beginning of love like I had never understood it before.

I didn’t know if it was day or night outside. I didn’t know if it was raining or snowing. I didn’t know anything. For all I knew the sun could have turned purple and the stars could have disappeared from the sky. The only things in the universe were her and me. We were it.

In the days that followed her cries filled my every moment. I was ragged and sleep deprived and she was frustrated and confused. I rocked, soothed, fed and sang day and night. Sleep came in two hour doses and yet the deepest love permeated every one of those hours. She was mine, but more importantly I was hers.

I had my life all figured out. I knew what I wanted to do for my career. I knew the type of man I wanted to marry. I knew who my best friends were and where I wanted to live. And I thought I knew what love was...and then I met her.