Chapter Four
"It's time to wake up little girl, there is more fun to be had."
Angela's blood went cold, she recognized that voice, but it didn't make sense. Luca had saved her and said that Elia and Lauro took care of her captor. So then why was she here with him instead of with Luca? She opened her eyes and she was back in the cage with Sawyer looking at her.
"Luca..." Angela whimpered and felt tears come to her face.
"Luca is gone, he decided that he didn't want you anymore. I found you wandering a park," Sawyer said and bent over to unlock the cage door. He opened it and yanked the chain that was connected to Angela's collar causing her to be dragged out.
Angela let out a cry of pain and tried to get away from him, Luca couldn't have possibly abandoned her. He said that he would fix her and Abelia would have spoiled her because she would give Angela the sibling affection she had craved from her brothers.
"They killed you!" Angela yelled desperately as she tried to make sense of what was happening.
"No, little girl. I played dead, Elia and Lauro were very thorough in torturing me. So much so, that I am going to hurt you very badly and you'll feel what I went through. Hopefully this will make you a good girl and not disobey me." Sawyer crouched down and lifted her chin to meet his eyes, "We shall start with your favourite, the Wooden Horse."
"Nooo!" Angela thrashed and yanked the chain her direction.
"Angela! Wake up, it's a bad dream. Please wake up."
Angela blinked her eyes and she was sitting in a bed and not in the basement with Sawyer. She looked up and saw Luca looking at her with sadness in his eyes, he was holding her so tightly.
"Luca!" Angela clutched him tightly and sobbed loudly in his chest..
"It's okay Angela, I'm here." Luca kissed the top of her head.
"H-he fou-found me again, he sa-said that you go-got tired of me." Angela sniffled.
"He is dead. He is never coming back, and I will never leave you. You are stuck with me forever and I could never tire of you sweet girl." Luca pulled away just enough to see her face, "Look at me."
"Never?" Angela asked with a hopeful expression.
"Never, and I mean it. You are stuck with me." Luca kissed her nose and she giggled.
"Thank you Luca, that means so much." Angela laid her head on his chest and smiled softly.
"Do you want to get more sleep or do you want to cuddle and watch TV?" Luca stroked her hair lovingly.
"Cuddle and watch TV, I don't want more sleep."
"Alright, sounds good. Let's go." Luca smiled and gently picked Angela up and carried her to the living room where he sat on the couch with her on his lap.
"Why did you carry me?"
"Because I wanted to and you deserve to be spoiled." Luca kissed the top of her head and reached for the TV remote.
About half an hour later, the front door opened and Lauro and Elia walked in. They came and sat next to Luca and Angela who were watching the first Fast and Furious movie.
"Hey Boss, howsa doin'?" Lauro slurred with a goofy smile.
Elia laughed. "Ignore him, he's drunk and stupid."
"I issss not stuuupid."
Angela laughed at him and smiled. "Yeah, you are Lauro."
"Ella...leave wit meh and we travel da world." Lauro looked at Angela flirtatiously.
Luca shook his head with a grin on his face. "That's my girl buddy, find your own." Luca kissed her forehead.
"Anyway." Elia looked from Lauro to the TV to Angela. "You guys watching Fast and Furious? What movie?"
"Luca says it's the first movie. Vin Diesel is soo awesome!" Angela gushed.
"So you like Vin Diesel?"
"Yeah, I really like him as an actor. My brothers loved the Riddick Chronicles so we had watched that a lot, the only part I ever liked was watching Vin Diesel." Angela said with a dazed look on her face.
Luca looked at Angela and then at Elia with comprehension.
"Your brothers?"
Angela's eyes widened in shock.
"Did I say my brothers?"
"Yeah, you did Ange." Luca patted her leg.
"Well then, they don't matter."
"Why not?"
"Because they didn't try to find me, or rather they disappeared a week before my kidnap. Not that I would expect them to, they didn't like me."
"Why didn't they like you?"
Angela pushed Luca's hands away from her and stood up. "Stop interrogating me! If you care so much, why don't you find them and ask them yourselves?!" She looked at them with derision before running upstairs to her room.
Angela sat in the corner of her room, she didn't know why she yelled like that. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them resting her head on them as she thought. Perhaps, she acted out because she didn't want to talk about her family or because she was feeling stressed. She just didn't know and she didn't like that.
The bedroom door opened and Luca walked over to Angela and crouched down in front of her.
"I don't want to talk." Angela mumbled.
"I didn't say anything. I want to be here for you." Luca moved so that he was sitting next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I will stay here and be your shoulder to cry on if you want or just be your comfort. You can tell me whenever you want. Today, tomorrow, next week. Hell, even next year is fine." Luca turned his head and kissed the top of her head.
"Thanks."
Then there was a knock on her door and Elia's head peeked through and Angela looked up.
"Hi Angela, sorry about Lauro. He's in bed now, I just want to see how you were doing."
"Thanks Elia, I'm doing better. Do you want to come in?"
"Nah, I'm good. I'll probably have a drink and hit the sack as well. Good night Angela." Elia smiled.
"Good night Elia." The door shut and Angela lowered her head back down to her knees, but turned so she could look at Luca.
"You already looked me up didn't you? You are mafia."
"Yeah, I did. I wanted to see who or where you family were so I could help you."
"Alright, but I'm not going to talk about them. We weren't really all that close."
"It's okay Angela. Just rest and recover, you've been through a lot. And I know you are trying to be strong with this facade of yours. You don't need to try to be happy all the time." Luca stood up and smiled at her. "It's late, get some sleep. Good night Ange."
Angela smiled softly. "Thanks. Good night Luca." Angela stood up as Luca left her room and closed the door behind him.
She took off her dress and put on the pajama top and shorts she got when shopping with Abelia. She placed the dress in the hamper and turned off the light. Angela let out a small sigh as she climbed into the soft and comfy bed.
Tomorrow will be a new day. With that thought, Angela closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Drawing
Normal people:
1. Pick a reference (or go from memory if they're just that amazing)
2. Outline whatever they're drawing
3. Start shading
4. Add color or finish it up
5. Done!
Me:
1. Picks a reference (I am not good enough to go from memory)
2. Watch YouTube for an hour because picking a reference was very draining
3. Outlines half the drawing
4. Another half hour of YouTube
5. Outlines the other half
6. Runs downstairs for a snack
7. Goes back upstairs holding half the pantry, eats and watches some more YouTube
8. Shades a little bit
9. Downloads a random video game on my phone
10. Shades some more *almost tears the paper because I'm so mad at my incompetent drawing skills*
11. More YouTube
12. Finishes shading
13. More YouTube
14. Final touches *flips drawing over so I don't have to look at my horrible artwork*
Don’t settle
Don’t settle for demeaning conversations
For the endless drum of interruptions
men making feminism about them
who want to tell you, again,
the story of emasculation
Have no patience for:
“you can’t even talk to chicks anymore”
complaints that a small part of their freedom
has been re-examined,
that now
oppressors have to think before they voice
what
they want
to
do to you when no one is looking
Don’t settle for:
- strangers’ hands on your teenage thighs
- ‘accidental’ grinding on public transport
- bosses who come too close and invite you out for a drink
- working twice as hard with half the recognition
- never being listened to
- seeing your ideas live on in the works of others
- the worst role in every group project, the smallest room in every house,
meaningless apologies, men expelling their ego full of toxic waste
on you
and
everyone
who comes crawling
only
when they need you
anyone
who ever makes you feel
like
nothing
Don’t settle
expectations traded for club entries
late-night dinner dates or the name cock-tease
’But why don’t you come to mine, are you scared? I won't hurt you'
People making a verbal show
of concern and affection
with none of the action
others desperate for action and wingeing
the guilt-trip into unprotected sex
& “it’s because I love you”
the space you weren’t allowed to have
the friends you couldn’t talk to, the people you couldn’t see
because
otherwise
he’d get upset
Don’t settle for
never demanding an apology from the men who never get your name right
whispering baby through the night
lovers who compare you to their exes
on a weekly basis
and blame you when you get upset
and never thank you for the late nights the words the time
you wasted loving them
Don’t settle
for less than you deserve
because
this world
won’t give you anything
unless
you
take
it.
A phonecall.
Hello? Oh, good, it's you. Don't be scared. I am from Earth originally, many lightyears back in my generation of the family. We don't speak Earth anymore, so please accept my excuses if our translation is not contingent. This is the first time we are attempting to translate into Earth.
I am here to communicate information to you in spoken words.
Yes, you, though you feel very measly now.
I know how close you are to giving up all hope. Your hopes have been dashed time and time again. I'm writing to let you know what's going to happen in what you call January in what you call the two thousand and twentieth year of the common era. Hang on, we have a bug inside the tin.
While no one now thinks of the coronavirus as a blessing, it was a good thing for your kind. Increasingly aware of the power of democracy, many legally recognized subjects or nationals of state or commonwealths worldwide joined the fight to preserve ecosystems.
Billions of what you call US dollars were poured into ocean conservation, allowing oceanographers and marine biologists to continue learning from the sea without the interference of capitalism.
Fossil fuel funding was almost entirely pulled and put towards renewable energy. People soon no longer used ion lithium batteries and instead relied on what you called 'sunnies', or solar-powered battery systems.
This was a great innovation for your people. Eventually, over time, your oligarchies dissolved in favor of peace and harmony. State representatives were elected for the content of their character, rather than how well they could manipulate mediatic content.
Your species will die, of course, but not for another thousand years, at least.
I hope this has glorified your day!
Professor Xitllfeyijsg of Jug6789, Planet 廢物一個哈多位搜救
Don’t care
I don't wear seatbelts anymore. Maybe it's to make up for a rebellious nature I've never had, or maybe I just don't like constructing my lungs anymore than they already are.
I lean too far over the edge of bridges and stare too long outside my mother's window on the twentieth floor of her office building. I don't shy away from the thought of flattening against the car parallel parked below; I invite the feeling of weightlessness to take over.
I let my bicycle almost careen over the ledge, almost pull me into the ditch, almost barrel into the stop sign. I think I just want to know if the car will stop for me if I pull out slow enough. And sometimes I wonder if I'll ever let myself hit the sign.
I used to wrap my curtains around my neck and tightrope walk along the foot of my bed. Once, I fell and sprained my ankle. I didn't tell anybody how it happened.
I used to hold onto the top of my dresser to see if it would fall on me. I would hang upside down until the blood rushed to my head because I liked the feeling. I would stop eating for a day, so I could pretend I was in the Jamestown colony. I would hold white crayons to my lips and wonder about lung cancer. I would hold my breath until my face turned blue.
I don't want to die, not really. It's just that sometimes I wouldn't care if I did.
Dear Anxiety,
I'm sorry I slander you in everything I say and write and think. You've always been there for me, and I think you deserve better. I mean, really, you're just an extension of me, and I can't blame you for what you say to me. Yeah, they're awful things, but if they're true, I guess it must come from a place of love and kindness.
I'm sorry people doubt your existence. That must be hard. And when they claim you're just in my head, well, I don't think that's true either. You're only in my head some of the time. Sometimes, you get lost in the labyrinth of my memories, and you don't visit me for a while. Then, you bring some back with you, so I guess that makes it better.
I'm sorry that I like it better when you're not around. I'm sorry that I wish you would get lost in the maze and never come back. I'm sorry that every time I talk about you, it's just to disregard and disown you. I'm sorry that I don't let you control more of what I do and say and think. Maybe you're right when you say my life would be better if you had complete control.
Please come back. You're right, and I need you. I need you to tell me what to wear and what people will say about me when I wear it. I'd miss your nagging voice explaining every detail of everything I did that was wrong. And it's all wrong because I did it by myself. That's why I need you.
guilt
I picked up a fistful of broken glass and held it firm. The warmth in my palm was morbidly pleasant as it was complemented by the soothing winter’s chill and muffling darkness. I dared not loosen my grip, lest I lose my mind.
It’s so easy to stay connected these days, and I do honestly believe that it’s a blessing. Living in a time where having a goddamn computer in your pocket is virtually a basic human right? Sign me right up, chief. I was never one to glorify the past; I’ve heard too many tales of the struggles before industrialization/automation. Having to sleep by an unpredictable open flame to stay warm in the winter, working in a place where losing appendages is an inevitability, not knowing where your kids could be when it’s past dark, the list goes on. The safety and the information in particular is something I would never have traded…
My fist beginning to tremble now, I took a deep breath and a step forward simultaneously. The high-pitched crunch under my heel grounded me for a moment during my daze. Blurred vision was beginning to disorient me and I had to remind myself to blink.
I worked less than an hour away from home but my kids loved to video call me during work, asking when I would be coming. Today was no different and I stepped away from my desk for their usual 4:00 PM appointment. I told them I had to work a little overtime today and for them to stay inside as always. Today those words were said with some meaning and not completely out of habit. There were rumors that a “demonstration” would be happening tonight around the municipal court, and I was uncomfortable knowing that could happen so close to home.
My hips could no longer support my body and I fell onto my shoulder mid-stride. A cloud of dust rose around me and muddied the clear darkness. I couldn’t stop shaking. Every single bone and muscle in my body was activated and moving autonomously.
No. I had to stay clear-headed.
While on the ground, I looked at the remains of my home. Total collapse. The high-rise a block away took all of the buildings on this block down with it. And I know it could’ve happened. I knew what might’ve happened tonight.
I didn’t tell them. I knew, and I didn’t tell them. I knew, and I chose not to tell them. I chose not to tell them.
It was all my fault.
Before I knew it, most of the glass had fallen out of my hand.