First draft for a novel opening

Under the dim grey fog of midnight, A large freighter moved across a vast ocean of darkness, The glitter of stars sung dim in the backdrop. The splashing of sea waves mellowed beneath the vessels movement. Two Months prior she had awoken in the arms of some barrel chested beer bellied drunk she met the night before. Her life was loose, Like his breath had been putrid and rancid, The result of a volatile mixture of whiskey, bourbon, Tobacco smoke and a rough persistence of one too many late night binge drinking sessions deep into his 40s. But he had been a hardy worldly man of a certain charm, that often dazzled unsuspecting female bar patrons. And his gift of the gab had worked its dark spell upon her that night. She had been enjoying her time off, Her legs had grown wobbly from being 8 months at sea. Her work as the captain of a commercial trade vessel, Kept her at sea for several months at time. She scarcely had time to develop what one would call a healthy romantic partnership. Marriage was a long distant concept, like the pouring of her first drink of the night. Her hair was long and white of silver, She was pretty and aesthetically beautiful like a chiseled piece of marble, that sat in a museum for all the world to see. But her beauty was not without blemish, Her right eye was gone replaced with black marble, And a large scar ran its way straight across the left side of her face, She had been unfortunately scarred, during her time serving aboard a naval vessel as the Co-Captains navigator, In the dead eves of a vicious war that swung and cleaved its way between two fierce empires. The sea opened its mouth like a pit, swallowing ocean and Wave into a funneled whirlpool that moaned as it fed. She fell from the mast, Her fingers ripped free by mighty oceanic winds, Sent her plunging deep into a realm of void and blackness. There was only silence, save for the trembling terror that filled her mind, A dark colossal shape circled her in the void, Its teeth like Spears, Its eyes rolled over black like a dolls eye. It draw her body when its breath, She hung onto its mighty serrated teeth, Gouging out her right eye in the process, As she attempted to fight through oceanic wind and hurricanic breath of beast. She was miraculously saved by the sudden oncoming sneeze that befell the beast in the moment, sending her crashing several hundreds of feet back into the deck of the ship, Where she fell into an unconscious dream of darkness that lasted for several weeks.