passion
i feel like there's someone inside of me trying to scratch their way out but i remain sediment.
//let me out
please//
they are clawing and kicking and banging on my bones. my skin crawls with the aftershock.
//help me
i want out//
i want to help them. rip my skin off and be reborn with the energy and will to get the fuck out of here.
//please
save me//
free will. their tears chill my skeleton, but i do nothing. i am a hypocrite. lazy. insufficient.
//i am dying
listen to me//
i remain still and leave my passion suffering inside my body, encapsulated in a resting cocoon, never to breathe or see the light of the moon.
ll pause
im in the wake of my grassy high. i woke to my friends running through lawn sprinklers and laughing in the distance. i realized i saw people who genuinely loved life. as i, far from their world, was the only one who could hear my scripted laugh because i cant fathom a life without swallowing synthetic joy. a life without deep existential talks with the sunset in the window glass. what's a life without self destruction? in that moment, i knew. i woke and i was spacing out into the bermuda grass while sweat and water dripped from my nose.
...
>>resume
northern downpour.
"The ink is running towards the page, its chasing off the days look back at both feet and that winding knee. I missed your skin when you were east, you clicked your heels and wished for me. Through playful lips made of yarn, that fragile capricorn unravelled words like moths upon old scarves. I know the worlds a broken bone.
But melt your headaches call it home."
-Ryan Ross
red.
i am the liquid pumping through your veins
the pastel warmth on your cheeks
the rose in your garden that smells of dirt but the sweet, organic kind
the smeared lipstick on your pillow from last night
the letter slipped under your door sealed with wax
the tiny cross on the nurse's hat as she covers your mouth with air
the second's hand on a clock seeming to tick the slowest
the leaves drifting in the autumn wind
the stone on your finger
the warning labels you ignore
the summer berries
i am blood. vitality. sex. passion.
luck, i guess
i was walking at midnight. i snuck out to smell the humid air and catch my breath. and i walked past you and a group of friends. you called me over and offered a cigarette. i took it. you asked if i was okay and that you remembered me from somewheres. i asked if your name was sadie. you smiled and told me how much i'd grown. we were neighbors and used to play together. we sat in awe and eventually were lovers for a summer. what luck, finding you there...