As a child, I have tried imagining creative ways to die. I have jumped off roofs. I have sunk in oceans. I have burned to death. Shot. Severely cut. And I was occasionally stabbed as well. There were all sorts of crazy endings. But in all of them, I had a higher purpose. I was to sacrifice my life for my loved ones, to save the world and so and so. But I always died for a reason.

But today, as a 17-year-old boy, I faced the worst casualty in my life. It was not a fight. I mean, I did not even know that guy. He just came out of nowhere and bang! Stabbed in the chest I was. It was very close to the heart. It's fatal.

Let's go a bit backward in time. So, I learn at St Lucius School, located right across the Westminister Cafe, of which I was a regular customer. Mr Parker, who used to run the shop, was very fond of me, I guess. Oh! He seemed like a nice guy. I should have talked more with him when I had the chance.

Well, let's come to the point. So, St Lucius School was one of the best in town. It had brilliant teachers, pleasant atmosphere. It was great. And I would not call myself a genius, but still, I was a member of the Teachers' Favourite Students Group, which I believe exists everywhere in the world where education is possible.

So you see, I try and procure as much hate as I can from my classmates. Though I was a bit to the nerdy side when it comes to learning, I was a total failure when it came to attitude. I was a bit too hyperactive, talkative, and everything that a nerd isn't. So you see, I did not belong to the nerd group as well. They considered me useful for doubts only, not the friendly type. And I am still not clear what a friend means in their definition.

So, I found myself rather alone for a few weeks. Then, as it occurs everywhere, I found my team at long last. There were half nerds, idiots, artists, psychopaths and everyone who doesn't belong anywhere else. They only belong together. I found the rest of my days filled with joy and laughter. No meaning. But I still enjoyed the company. It was a relief. But they were not among the ones who I wished to be with me till the end.

Although I tried recruiting new members to the team, they also did not seem to fit. There were a lot of leaving and entering for a few weeks. Then, it kind of acquired a stable state. But still, I was not satisfied. That's when I met her.

Rebecca. That was her name. Somehow, I found her to be very different from the members of my current team. She was different. I found myself to be very happy when I talked with her. I no longer found satisfaction in my old company. It was torture. I would watch her the whole time the stupid conversations go on. I desperately waited for the breaks.

Weeks passed by. And our relationship grew stronger. And I never found myself happier. Was this love? I asked myself. No matter how hard I tried to wipe that question out from my mind, I could not avoid it.

I could no longer talk to her like I used to. I found myself to be tensed and nervous when I talk. I ran out of words. I sweated. Me who desperately tried to grab her attention now proactively tried not to let her know my presence. I avoided her at times.

That was when I faced the next challenge. So, our class consisted of my team, the nerds, the silent, others and the useless. But, there was another prominent team which I always used to avoid.

Though I found vague similarities in my attitude with theirs, I was sure I did not belong there. Because they were not the ones, nobody found them comfortable. They were strange. They were angry. They were the ones from who children ran away in horror.

But last week, their two representatives came to me. They wanted to discuss a serious topic. When I tried to go away, they held me by the collar and pulled me back.

'What do you want from me?' I asked.

They only smiled. Leaning a bit, the taller one said 'What is between you and Rebecca?'

’Nothing, we are just friends.' I tried to sound confident.

'Just friends?' asked the other one.

'Yeah, what more do you expect?'

'We expect nothing more.' They laughed terrifically and went away. I became paralysed.  

What do they want from Rebecca? Why did they ask me about our relationship? I was confused. It was more stress than I could take. Should I tell Rebecca about this? No, no, I shouldn't. It would make her tensed as well. I had to solve this alone. And for that, I needed a plan.

I tried to formulate a plan all night. The nights of the following days also took me through the same procedure. But I was blank. I did not even know what they want. Then, how am I supposed to do anything against it? I didn't know how, when, why, what, where and who. I realised that I would fail if I try and do this alone. But, no one in my team seemed right. There was no other choice. I would have to tell Rebecca about this.

So, finally, Friday arrived, that is today. I left home early since I had a lot of urgent things to do. As fast as I could tell her about this, the better it would be. It was cloudy in the morning. The rain, last night, had left its marks behind. I had my raincoat on and my school bag on my shoulders.

I decided to walk past the alley to reach the school faster. Regrettably, that was the worst decision in my life. I did not even look straight while I walked. I kept my head down, deeply immersed in thoughts. I planned how to present the topic to Rebecca. I could not make her too tensed.

Suddenly a man ran against me, by my side. He nearly pushed me down. As I was recovering from the fall, I found a second guy running against me. And this man had a knife, in his hands and he was not at all in control of it. The next few moments were too quick to perceive. I was still trying to regain balance, the guy, with the knife, was desperately trying to stop on his tracks. But we both failed in our respective missions.

The result was bitter. I found myself down on the ground, the knife guy upon me. I felt acute pain in my chest region. When my hands reached my chest, a knife was perpendicular to its surface. I glanced at my hands, and all I could see was red. The knife guy stood now, utterly confused. He has just killed a boy. But, I was still moving. 'Should I save him? Should I not?' All those questions went through his mind. But, I could no longer stay awake. I was dying. I could not even warn Rebecca. I could not even say goodbye. Only one thought persisted in my mind. I love her.

It was almost dusk. The room was unfamiliar. I could see a basket of fruits in the table beside me. I still felt pain, and when I checked, I found my chest filled with bandage and plaster. A sudden realisation struck me. I am not dead.

Not dead. I breathed heavily.

'Hey, don't stress out.' I heard a voice. It was so familiar. It was Rebecca. She was at the door now. She came close and sat beside me. "How do you feel now?' She asked.

'Better'. I found it difficult to speak. The regret at my near-death aroused in my brain. I should not wait anymore. I should tell it.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, my mouth began to speak, though I had not asked it. My brain was overwriting my body. 'Rebecca, I think I love you.'

There was a moment of silence, and she broke it with a peal of laughter. But it was not a laugh out of humour, but one out of something strange. She just kept looking at me then.

And I could do nothing but look back. Millions of emotions ran around my brain. Was this love? I don't know, maybe it is.

#fiction #opinion

I shut the door hard behind me. It was so loud that even I was shocked. But, I did not care. Why would I? They did not care. How could they be so cruel? What have I ever done to them? All I asked them for was a bicycle. How hard could it be? They could well afford that. Why are they so rude? No, I cannot tolerate this anymore. I have to get out of here. If I stay here, I will be wasting my future, my life. It is a tough decision, but I had to.

I packed some dresses, books, and my extra pair of sneakers. I put on my bag and walked to the door. I have to do this. I have to let them know my stand. I pulled the door open and stood before them assertively.

'Whoa! You seem all packed up, honey. Where you off to?' It shocked me. I was leaving home once and forever, and he did not even care about it. I knew he did not love me. I knew he always wanted me out of his life. But now I was ready. I might not be an adult yet, but I had decided. My life changes, from here, from now, and there will be no looking back.

My mom came out of the kitchen then. She was shocked.

'What are you doing, peanut?'

I made my voice hoarse. 'I am leaving.' I said with all power I could procure.

'Where to?'

'Wherever I feel.'

She suddenly ran towards me. I backed up. But, my father stopped her midway.

'Well, off you go.' he said.

I lost my control. How could dad do that? Though the bag was heavy, I walked out of my home as bold as I could. I could hear my mom calling from behind. But, I did not look back. I had already decided. I decided not to look back. And I had to stay resolved.

I made my way to the bus station. The hot sun and the heavy bag made me feel so weary. But, they could not shatter my determination. I caught the first bus I saw and took the front seat. With the help of a young lady, I put my bag on the top stand. I was the only passenger in my seat until the next five stops. Then, I had to share my space with a gigantic, old lady.

It was a bit uncomfortable for a few stops. I found myself a little constrained. But the situation only aggravated then. The lady continued pushing, pulling, stretching, and I felt more and more compressed. I tried to move away as much as I could. But the lady was enormous, and I was tiny. I doubted whether she was aware of my presence. I wanted to tell her, but my voice systems seemed temporarily locked.

The circumstances got worse every second, and I had to do something now. I, with all my effort, tried to pull the old lady aside. But, my timing could not be more terrible. The moment I pushed her away, the bus came to a sudden stop. And guess what. I got thrown away from the bus. I flew right through the front glass, as it never existed. Some of the glass pieces flew with me as well. I was in the air for a long time. Then, I landed on the carriage of the vehicle in front of me.

Luckily, it was a mini container truck carrying styrofoam. So what could have been fatal was avoided. But, it did not keep me from the blackout. The last thing I saw was my father running to me faster than light. Even my mother could not gain his speed. But that was it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I opened my eyes and found myself at the hospital. My hands had a slight injury, but the doctor lady found it quite insignificant. Though, my mom did. She rubbed my hands back and over many times. After a few hours, they let me leave without much medication.

Now I was going home. Somehow, it did not make me feel terrible. Though my decision still rumbled around in my mind, it had lost all its strength and was no longer very attractive. And when I reached home, it disappeared. Because when my dad opened the doors for me, I never expected Ladybug 20030, the latest bicycle model, to be waiting for me on the other side. Ow! There is no better place than at home. Home, sweet home!

Moral of the story: Some oppression is good. It's necessary, to be frank. It protects you from things, you know like, getting thrown away. And I am not talking about sharing seats. I am talking about something way more precious than that, our dad, mom, siblings, our family.

#fiction #opinion

I was late. Now, there is a slight chance you might think that I am usually early. No, you are wrong. I am always this late. It's not anybody's fault, though. It's just, I am someone who strictly follows four meals a day, and I am not ready to lose that, just for the sake of playing football.

We are very fortunate. We have a ground nearby, not a high standard one, but it has enough and more area, that an actual football match could take place; if we are to avoid the rocky half, the bush quarters, the nearby homes and a possibly fatal cliff.

As gigantic the ground maybe, the problem is we do not have a young squad here. Our area is filled with people over 50s. The youth ratio here is depressing. In this humongous ground, there are only two sportspersons. It's like playing chess with two bishops. Two and a half, actually. There is me, my friend and his little sister. By the way, she is the protagonist of this story.

So, I reached the ground by 5:30 PM, and I could understand from his face that he was not feeling very joyous to see me. He pulled off some trick shots, of which, most I managed to save. I am very tall, you see. All it takes is a good stretch.

Quite naturally, one of his trick shots was beyond what I could save. If the goal post had hands, I don't think even it could have managed to stop the ball. It was miles away. He ran off to take the ball, leaving me and the kid silent on the vast ground.

I am a very talkative person, the silence killed me each second. So, I decided to approach the kid. I noticed that she was playing with sand. When I got closer, I realised that she was drawing a picture, a star. It was a very confusing drawing, though. It had the sun on one end, and the rest was stars. And by stars, I mean, the two opposite triangles aligned on top of one another, one a bit down.

It was controversial since the sun is visible during the day and the stars are at night. I wanted to ask her why. But, she was so busy and, it's wrong to disturb artists.

After a few seconds, she asked me if it looks good. I replied that it looks beautiful. Wanting to impart some general knowledge into the kid, I told her, "You see something, this drawing, it's full of stars."

"No, look. The Sun." She replied.

Alright, now I understood from which academic level I should be dealing with this topic. I sat on the floor and whispered, "I will tell you a secret. Do you want to hear it?"

"Uh-huh"

"The sun is also one among the stars."

Out of all the reactions I imagined would occupy her face, the one that actually did surprise me. She laughed. Worse, she called me stupid. I did not have any idea about how to convince this child. Her laughing made my brain wish it could die.

In the end, I told her, "It's the truth. You will learn it one day."

And to my surprise, she stopped laughing. A mature, grave emotion occupied her face now. Then, she asked me politely, "Well then, draw the sun."

I simply drew a circle with rays of varying length. I turned around. Now, the kid asked me to draw a star.

No, I understood what she was up to. If I was to plot the classic two-triangular star, she would point at the sun and say, "Look at them now. See, they are different. It's not a star, idiot." And then she would start laughing out even louder. And that would be worse than hell, in its darkest form.

Though I was very successful in calculating the future, my brain could not force my hands. It already started reflex actions. No matter how much I tried, I could not draw a sphere to describe the shape of stars. All I drew was the classic triangles. Devastated I was. I think you can simply imagine what happened then. Not a great day!

#nonfiction