I miss you

But you're not dead

I love you

But only as a friend

We can't be closer

Is that my bad?

I feel the drift

Do you feel it too?

Everyday I meet your gaze

But it will never be last year again

I hate you and I'm sorry

I wanna pack up and leave

But seeing you each day

I feel so guilty

23/6 I despise you

1/1 is the whole amount of time I question why

Not my fault I can't stand you

But not yours that I cry

You're so fucked up

You won't let anyone assist

Slowly letting yourself decay

In your own fog and mist

I don't care anymore

I won't care tomorrow

But I'll smile anyway

Both of us are hollow

You deserve better

Better than this

I hope the kindness within you

Won't fade with a hiss

Sorry I'm a jerk

That I'm so unstable

Just like the weather

I'm either too hot or too cold

See, I'm so selfish

That this stopped being about you

And turned into me

Do you hate me

No probably not

But I'm your first choice

Or second

Or third

We're not friends

But not strangers

I'm fraying at both ends

Each contain dangers

Choose one, choose one

Oh god I feel like I'm melting

You make me feel like none

Because you make me feel like nothing

It's been months since we've last spoke

Exchanged three words in December

Before that however

I can't remember

You've haven't seen me in so long

You don't know my lips are tinted with blue

Haven't seen that my hair color has faded

Yet to see under my eyes are bruised

I'm happy you're happy

It's not that I'm discontent

But I can't help but wonder

Where the time has went

Sorry you're so fucked up

Get you're trying but still

Wanna tell you to sit the fuck down

You don't need to die on this hill

I know that nightmares suck

But you don't need to drink

"Asleep and awake is pain all the same"

You're just saying what we all think

One day this will be over

Soon this all will end

You can wake up and leave with a smile

A grin that isn't pretend

I am a lemon as you are dirt

You make me grow more bitter with each day

I need herbicide to end this

There's no other way

I hate being around you

Smiles so sweet yet words are rotten

But I have no choice or will

Being around you fills my mouth with cotton

You are my detested friend

My dear enemy

We'll continue to blossom

Until you're the end of me

What is going on with you?

Have you gotten dumb since we've last spoke?

I swear your head is leaking out booze

Instead of any brain matter

Who hurt you, tell me

But I can't talk to you

And it's me you don't see

Glaring at you from a one sided window

Set me ablaze

Run me over, strike me dead

Anything's better than this bullshit

Please grant me mercy and let me see red

You won't talk, you won't look

I would assume I'm nothing but a ghost

But everyone carefully avoids my body

That means I'm am seen by most

Insult me, hit glare, bleed me dry

I just can't take not being real

Despite the way everybody treats

I do know how to feel

I really want to hate them

But hating them makes me hate myself more

So let me dream of running away

Completely alone, and I'll wash up on shore

No matter what you say

No matter what you do

The one who's the most to blame

Is the similar, writing

I hate myself the most

The hate me because I'm me

Without them I'm not real

With them I'm not free