My skin has become ashes

My brain lit aflame from the promises

My eyes dulled from the smoke

As everything around me broke

My blood is flame

In horrible beauty, it destroys me from the inside without shame.

Perhaps the worst of all

Is my heart that opens the cracks to the dawn.

My heart is scorched beyond recognition

Pumping my flamed blood like a man on a mission

As if pretending that there was normalcy as the chaos consumes me

Praying that this monster is my legacy

Something amazing that I'll never get to see

But deep down my heart knows that will never be

As a legacy means nothing if he's not here with me

The blood lit only a spark that has grown into a flame

It burns me until no one can know who I am until I respond to my name

There is a performance in my mind

I am the captive audience of their hive

As they guide me on how to survive

Their thoughts come from me but are they really mine?

They are a mess of gorgeous chaos a day you can see it in my eyes.

Although I didn't know this at the time and I have no one to blame.

The voices are human, if they are listened to, they will become tame.

And I was in the darkness, so darkness I became.

As their captive audience, I marvel at their performance.

Even if their nonsense charms me into importance.

Kept into a trance of darkness

In order to find my likeness

I am a captive audience to my own mind.

Where growth is shown that this mess of thoughts only causing me trouble is not mine.

The sky is on fire

My confession is of a pyre.

A mound of compost left to waste

In my grievances, I will make haste

If you were to read through this confession in sun or snow

There are only two things you need to know.

The first is that I have broken like the dawn

Treating myself as if I were a pawn

Hoping that my sacrifice has been seen

In order to please a faux queen

The second is that I have just learned it at the time

Sacrifice couldn't stop those who had to die is that why

In this confessional I bleed my words without a lie

The truth has spilled in these two things

As the words I have written follow me in rings.

Dear Inner Child,

Life's been kind of wild

Even if you brave the world with a smile

You try and fail

But always remember,

To try again when the plan goes off the rail

There will be pains from January to December

There will be pain forever

But life will bring joy to keep you from trying to sever

Do don't give up hope that you will be free

It will all get better soon

Sincerely,

Me

Enthusiasm and power

That is the symbol of the cardinal

But not at this hour.

At this hour let it be,

The Cardinal is a messenger from heaven I have seen

Then I will know where I will be.

When the angel I miss most comes to me

The Cardinal had come when I was stuck

And it has given me a bit of luck

As the world changes and minutes turn to hours,

The Cardinal will grant me enthusiasm and power

There are words on the tip of my tongue.

But to silence, I've clung.

There are words of happiness,

Words of grief and sorrow.

Words that I'll never be able to tell tomorrow

The world is changing and the future is coming near.

Closer and closer, I find something to fear.

I fear the world as it crumbles beneath our feet.

The news brings the anguish of the street.

I fear to never be complete.

Words have failed me again.

When I can't say what I feel to family or a friend.

I fear my end when there is nothing more to the world I can send.

But until the future will commence,

I will hang onto my safe silence.

Dear Envy,

Leave me be.

I want nothing to do with thee.

There is no point to insult or groan,

When fortune is not my own.

Your words follow me from school to home

That if I am not at the top, I shall be alone.

So, envy, take your cruelty and leave me be.

This was not wanted of me.

I applaud the fortune of others and wish to be free.

Envy, your ideals are not needed.

I've said it before— I've asked and I've pleaded.

Envy, shining in green.

Envy, leave me alone.

Sincerely,

Yours truly.

Stars stay long and far.

Like dreams we aspire and awe,

We chase foreign stars.

I drag myself through the streets

Walking by myself,

Talking to myself,

Have pity.

I waltz through a cage of my creation

Lost to the events of the nation

My world's gone grey

Dragging through everyday

Barely stumbling through the city

I didn't think that my suffering would happen

Although it's a grace too terrible to name,

We can imagine

The grace is above what we will know

Which I am aware of as I drag myself through rain, sun, or snow.

I am a neverending prisoner to a grace too powerful to name

Today that I never thought would occur

That I can't replace what I've lost

Life as temporary as warmth to the first frost

Something that we can never understand

But forgiveness is something we can

I've learned that much

As a neverending prisoner

Going through the unimaginable.