You were born to this world naked,

Appraised and adored

You were made a blank canvas

To impress and record

And I completed that proverbial "we,"

So inexplicably bound

And we'll share this flesh detail

As long as "we're" around

Oh, how we use this vessel,

Your hands like anvils

Compounding words of wisdom

To smith our tools

And you came home to a warm household

Stocked with fair amenities

And you approached each scholastic endeavor

With savant-esque ease

And after graduating with your papers,

You stoked a flame of your own

And with your one and only you scaffolded

Equally shared bones

And oh, all the seasons push over

Like bumbling brothers

Eagerly awaiting

To take their turn

And the cycle continues to spin

Each day a passing glint

I must say I'm most impressed

By all this time you collect

They found your body naked

On the bathroom floor

Now, I'll spare the grotesque details,

But it was a scene to abhor

And you spent hours evaporating,

Too weak to stand

Until your scarce visitor had entered with

An outstretched hand

And now you sink slower than ever

Next to a pane of passing weather

With only its filtered sunlight

To grace your bed

I am grateful for all I have learned

But before this bridge is burned

There's one last question I must arrest

Have you had time to reflect?

In your old age

On your vain mistakes

And regrets you made

All the things you've lost

Your void memory box

All the opportunities you had left unaddressed

Have you had time to reflect?

Have you had time to expect

Any company

In your fleeting weeks

Between bouts of sleep

Any caring hearts

That know what you are

And can stand to see you at less than your best

Have you had time to expect

Which exact steps come next

As you ration every breath?

Your movement feels so uncandid

As the fractals form under your eyelids

You take a look around the room

At these faces you swear you must knew

Compelled to speak some advice

You say, "You've got to live your longest life."

I've lived a long time,

Longer than you would know

It's the dark behind my eyelids that

Hush this starving throat

So as I dive deep into

The abyss below,

My uncanny fantasies

Take form and begin to show

In this invented realm

I have the chance to rehearse all of my lines

And as time never bends

I can remain here beyond my life

I emerge from the ink

To nearer geometry

And light cascades on this

Deplored version of "me"

Now with timid feet

And a script behind my teeth

My proposal falls apart once you

Respond to my speech

You said, "Your vain repetitions will

Never convince me to turn around."

To strengthen your prose

You need to soak in all of the new sounds

Well, someone said life's not a race

And if you need to slow down that is okay

But it seems like every minute I saved

From every cigarette I never smoked is dwindling anyway

But if you think you can capture the world,

Be my guest

Onto a meadow overgrown, I stepped foot

My body felt lighter than the air I was just breathing

And over a translucent shoulder, I saw nothing but the weeds

And they signaled for my instincts to start fleeing

This calmness was cut by an overwhelming flood

Of questions demanding where I'll be

Who will I be?

Oh, Sister Sequoia!

Have you heard what our bishop said

About the lightbulb's luminescence

And it's eagerness to spread?

I'd feel my own filaments

Recoil at the awe

Of that beastly orb of glory

That just hangs above us all

But I remember you'd said something

That still reverberates

Of how we all eclipse the sun

In our own little ways

If you build a looming tower

Or simply walk outside

If you see your cast companion

That's your win against the light

Sister Sequoia!

Have you heard what our bishop said

About the trails of our transgressions

And how they follow us 'til death?

And I feel blind

By that epic I was penned out

There's something I understood then

I hope I understand now

I will never be someone else

No, I could never be someone else!

And yet I embarked on that bridge with so many t's

Left uncrossed

I can't let my electricity decay

And become lost

By some kinesthetic wish I'll devote my limbs

Back in those woods

(And scrape sky and blanket the ground with "good!")

So into a future once unknown, I stepped foot

The slow-sharpening breeze barely stung my eyes

I've had worse thorns in my side, I hypothesize

I saw the grey overcast crawl, but there laid oases of blue

And I could prey upon their solace for this trip overdue

"Curse your barometric bones! Where's that faith in me?

You act as if I don't know each peak of those marine valleys.

If we cast off shore with haste and lather some elbow grease

We'll be home all safe and sound before the first drop can breach."

Well, imagine racing a storm

Just to chase the calm before

Sometimes I need to speak a bit more clearly

And with emotion

So we set our wayward sails and ventured out to sea

But I feared the hanging blankets made it all look like ink

But we kept full speed ahead as the air grew morose

And the far hills lit by lightning seemed less and less rogue

"You know we're not made up of steel! There's still time to flip!"

"Well, you can rest be assured your sentiment's ridiculous,

But if you do need some reprieve, and if I'm not mistaken,

There's a small plot up ahead we can dub our haven."

Well, imagine maintaining the peace

Just to falter behind the teeth

Sometimes I need to breathe a bit more deeply

And with conviction

Now I don't care to feel displeasure

And the dampness in my socks sure isn't helped by the weather

And I bowed down to assimilate

Within the torrential waves that begged to decimate

I should the constellations even when my eyes are veiled

But somehow my internal compass returned discrepant details

So, I was forced to take a plunge and fashion driftwood raft

And when I find my misplaced rock you know I'll be climbing back

But if I fall again

Will there be someone to catch me

When my arms are broken?

Because I will fall again

Who will be my cushion

When I slip from the crow's nest?

I was born a black sheep in the hospital

Made to wear a thinning coat of white wool

I know this city's gold is malleable

And I'll be damned if I'm played the fool

I didn't want to admit it

But the details seemed to slip from out my fingertips

When there were hints within your rhetoric

This is a life that you no longer want to live

But if my instincts prove right

I know their guard's down at night

I guess our window would be slight

But we could slyly slide by

Or maybe you want to stew and rot

And forever mind your thoughts

But if not let's scale the gates and get lost

You turned from the skyline and breathed a gasp

As if overwhelmed by the colorfast

Between our makeshift, nomadic camps

Our ghosts wear new names and covered tracks

You didn't want to admit it

As if the words left an indication of how we used to live

If only you could tear from these elements

And return to a world a bit less imminent

But I thought we'd agreed

That this was cleaner air to breath

Without the clinkering of shackles

And streets of disease

I never promised it would be perfect

I merely asked if you would turn

And you did

But now there's fire and there's flood

Through which we endlessly trudge

While the mud floors my boots

And the smoke fills my lungs

Maybe that city is all that's morbid

But those buildings would be warm

And at least I'd live

But I guess I see

How I'd be a thief

And your seconds are

What I would reap

But did I take

More than I gave?

I think this is an argument that's best saved

For a better day

A spectral song hummed above the whole grave plot

As I was ushered into the cavity

By a show of grace (or compulsory display)

You were stationed to lay right beside me

First we spoke pretty small; you didn't feel sick yet at all

And I found the movement of your face mesmerizing

I got lost in your sea of curves

But I needed your form to be preserved

And I'll embody the archive before it's erased

Because what's a mirror supposed to look like anyway?

We turned to jeer at the bodies that brought us here

Hearing laughs from our invented audience

Then we traded digs at our personal superlatives

As if we had anymore need for preference

Then the sky synced up with the sundown in my gut

I can feel the nausea gnaw at my stomach lining

"So what do you think the last thing you'll be thinking will be?"

"I hope it's something more cheerful than dying."

"Well, I'll bet you the stars

We'll be shrouded in lantern light as they enter the yard

And we'll drink their vials clean

And be cured of the chemicals as they let us set free

And we'll go down our own roads

That lead to our homes and those we still know

And we'll remember this night as some strange, distant dream

But I'll cherish the reflection that you cared to share with me."

The vision ceased and my eyes were growing heavy

But I could swear that your stillness was smiling

Will it be dark out?

I used to love how the moon would breathe

Gentle wind across the silent town,

Playing with the silhouetted trees

"So what do you say?

Do we take a chance to sink or swim?

Or would you like to uselessly wade

In the obsolescence of your limbs?"

Well, I'm standing at the cliff, looking on downward

With one foot in front and one set back

If I stumble toward the sea and become submerged

How much of myself remains intact?

Even lovelier still

Were the embers on the mountain side:

Little incandescent films

In which the actors compose their lives

So I propose we meet

I'll wipe the sweat spawning in my hands

And I'll take a running leap

I won't know the difference between wave or land

Because at a certain height things have the same impact

"Did you actually think that you could be dead?

(Even after you heeded the consequence)

Hold your fragile frame and try to relax

(You do know that the worst is still yet to pass?)

Did you get all you expected?"

As the whir of my joints hum aloud

I don't even know if I feel stronger now

Is that shine of the sun still meant to endow

(On every little cell that dares to sprout)?

I guess I'll wait until we build eternity to figure that out

I got the call to pay my regards

Before my stomping grounds

Are turned to rummage yard

Up those wooden stairs, I marched

Through all those darkened doors

Betwixt too familiar art

I breached into the attic scene

And caught a mouthful of dust

(Which covered everything)

And within rows of towering

Cardboard tombs I found

All these different versions of "me"

Don't tell me so

All these frames were left in shadow

Don't tell me so

I can't imagine those eyes closed

Am I wasting your time?

By being inelegant?

By veering off road?

Am I wasting your time?

By being inanimate?

By being a ghost?

I suddenly became entranced

By internal elegy

For those wasted plans

The stream rushed swiftly past

And I begged to float away

But you can never truly turn back

As I looked at the capsulized list

Of scattered artifacts

I had to admit

After every hand that's ticked

There are some things that I still miss

Don't tell me so

There's no light on in the window

Don't tell me so

There's so many years that

I'll never know again

I am wasting your time

By being a counterfeit

By looking below

I am wasting your time

By being inadequate

By being disposed

*Keep your hands above your head

Keep your hands above your head!

Oh, your hands may be dirty

But don't let them sink below again

Keep your hands above your head

Keep your hands above your head!

Oh. your hands may be dirty

But wash them in the sink instead*

Well I had to burn the bark

And I watched the sparks illuminate

As the sun wound down I saw my skin dull with age

The warmth from the flame's

Been converted into ash

And I fear this scribbled map

Has gone sour a few miles back

Maybe this wandering

Is a stage for strange comeuppance

In the perfect inferno

I'd never be able to tell the difference

If I'm present within these woods

I must have sprung somewhere

And it's clear the clearing up ahead

Is a place for my route to be repaired

Lit by the morning,

It's time to rectify my quest

All this harbored grief and near repose

Are about to intersect

The view beyond the glade

Shows the flood will still sprawl

But if that's where I stand

I don't want to know where I'll fall

I always said "we" in reassurance

As if there were inhabitants,

Or an ever-peering audience

I guess I half-suspected

You were witnessing and listening

To me discover every puzzle piece

Now I see; it's about time we meet

After all those days in retrograde

It feels nice to be spinning straight

I am sure you're, too, enthused

But as we exit from those traveled years

Where do you suggest we go from here?

You always said I wasn't worth it

All the work I spent building our core

Would always at least an atom short

And all the seeds I delicately planted

May as well just wilt away

(They'll never reflect the light of day)

And to think! I was believing

That smug fog on my inner lens

You breathed to occlude-

-Hey, may I interject? You seem stressed

Your muscles feel all tight and tense

So I'll suggest to you that you should stretch

Bend at the waist

Lower our arms

Use them as weights

So here I rest as I'm encompassed

In the warmth of friends from far away

And light bleeding from the window pane

I gaze at the path behind me

It looks so much greener than

The earth I first traversed and tracked

And all the songs I chose to sing

Are still heard swelling endlessly,

Still enchanting with their melodies

And I feel whole; and only half afraid

So you ungrateful, incessant pest,

It's my turn to speak, you may not interject!

Your arms dragged us through the sand

Then you jammed us in that trench,

Ashamed of your insignificance

I promise you I've shown you my best

And although I've lived this long,

I'm not done living quite yet

I don't think I am something

That the sun will eclipse

When I'm hidden behind walls

Constructed by others' wrists

And I don't think I am clever

I'm just a voice that retorts

As I'm swallowed by the flood

And the waves that I ignore

When I left the attic empty-handed

I shook all my dreams awake

All my joints have cracked and rusted

There's no use to run away

As dusk rears its head

On its long body of night

It's abundantly clear soon

There will be no more lights

So I wish I had your answers

Or had some advice to give

But how could I impart wisdom

When I don't even know how long I've got to live?