"The sun will still rise tomorrow if I kill myself"

"Flowers will still bloom if I kill myself"

"The radio will still play upbeat music if I kill myself."

Yes, these things will keep happening. But you know what else will happen?

All the lovers you've had will hold close the pieces of you they have left and wonder if it was something they did that caused it. Your younger siblings will wish that they had slept in your bed more often, because now that you're gone they hardly remember the comfort that they had sleeping next to you. Your older siblings will think about times you were upset and they never asked what was wrong. Your best friends will become shells of themselves, beating themselves up for not realising you were not okay. Your mother will not be able to walk through the door of the house without looking for your shoes on the mat, and wondering if you did this to yourself because she yelled at you for tracking dirt. Your father will not drink his morning coffee on the couch, because he remembers how many times you sat there with him and ate your cereal.

Yes, the sun will rise, the flowers will bloom, and the radio will play happy songs. But without you, we do not want the sun to rise, because another day is too painful. We do not want to see flowers, because how dare the world show us something beautiful when you cannot appreciate it. We do not want to hear any music, because it reminds we will never see you dance again.

So reach out. For yourself and others. Everyone is worthy and deserving of life and another chance.

.

im numb at first

i dont feel it

as it caresses my skin

i push it further

blindly

..

then the pain

draped over me

like an oversized blanket

dragging me

drowning me

...

i can feel

as it rushes out

like a waterfall

of everlasting doom

pain i cannot describe

....

but in a way

i am still numb

i cannot feel it

i just push it in further

.....

i cannot feel

my heart breaking

into a million pieces

because how can i

when its ~ numb ~

from all these years of pain...

this love is fallen soldiers

on the battle ground

their empty hearts

bleeding out on the floor

this love is broken hearts

split in the middle

like black holes

sucking in everything and anything

this love is poison

venom racing through our veins

slowly eating us up

inside out

this love is war

when all there's left to give

is life that’s left to live

so what are we fighting for?

you feel alone

when you're surrounded

by friends

and family

you feel sad

when you're laughing

smiling

and having fun

you feel tired

after plenty of sleep.

and rest

but it just won't go away

you feel like you're drowning

but you can still see

everyone around you

breathing, living

breathing, living

breathing, living

breathing, living

and youre drowning

sinking

falling

through the air

but in slow motion

breathless

gasping

on the verge of death

but no one else is

surrounded

engulfed

by normal people

doing their everyday thing

why

why can't I

be like them

instead of drowning...

in my own sorrow...

living is like being chained

at the bottom of a shallow pond

with my eyes open and no air.

i can see distorted images

of happiness and light,

even hear muffled laughter,

but everything is out of my reach

as I lie in suffocating agony.

if death is the opposite of living,

then I hope death is like floating.

each passing year

disappearing

into our memories

another year gone by

time passes

just flies on by

doesn't look back once

doesn’t regret anything

and they all say

we're young and free

that we have our whole lives

sitting in front of us

but what about yesterday

what about tomorrow

what about all the time we lost

that we will never get back

why do we think we have

all the time in the world

when we are gone

before we even realised we were ever there…

Life is a gift

Life is precious

Don’t take life for granted

But did I ask for life

Or did I just cry quietly

As you forced me into this world...

I can't do it

I can't say goodbye

Not when you mean so much

Not when I have no one else

Because I know this time it would be forever.

I don't want to let you go

Because then you would leave

And never come back

And life would be incomplete

Because you are my life, my purpose.

You've always been there for me

Shown me the way when I was lost

Laughed when all I wanted to do was cry

Or offered me your shoulder when I really needed to cry

Hugged me when you just knew something was off

You know what I mean when I say 'I'm fine'

You know exactly what to do to make me forget

I knew I could come running to you after a bad day

All those phone conversations

Talking about things that I have to go through now…alone

I need to let you go…

You really don’t know

That they matter

Until there's no they

Until it's just you

The good days are gone

And we're back

To the boring everyday

The same old depressing routine

The meaningless smiles

That fill your days

Giving you

A false sense

Of hope

Thinking you can make it

Thinking you can get through this

And thinking you can live without them

But deep down you know you can't

And when the realisation hits you

It hits like a volcano erupting

Splitting your world right in the middle

Sending everything into chaos

Destroying neighbouring towns

But once it passes

It only makes you stronger

All the experience and knowledge

Building your foundation stronger

Thinking you'll be prepared for the next one

Thinking it'll never happen again…

…but you never know when it can strike