I was sliding downhill emotionally.

I had left the community that held me in its arms for over three years, my writing was on the skids.

Opuss had been my daily feed for such a magnificent time, I had many good friends on that site, and had discovered my love for writing while under its wing. But I knew it was time to leave, time to find new horizons and new challenges to hone my basic skills.

But it meant saying goodbye to a special friend and constant muse.

It hurt so bad.

But I made the move, despite my fears, and even though poisoned arrows followed me, I knew deep inside this painful cut was for the best.

Then, just before Christmas a new girl appeared on Prose, and her writing style, and her words struck a chord in my heart and mind that I'd long missed. I couldn't believe it at first, I was uncertain, hesitant.

Then the truth was exposed and she unveiled herself as my lost Opuss Muse and my most vivid flower.

And the sun came from behind a wall of grey cloud and shone down on me and the fear lifted, and I knew we had found the glue we lost.

Everything was going to be fine. She followed me.

I had, prior to my painful enlightenment, a sense of worth for living due to my promise to keep living as long as my parents accepted the same promise, but it hadn't really seeped into my soul yet. The moment my life truly transformed from mere existence to actually being worth something was a shattering moment; the kind nobody wishes to mingle with. I had hope that my little brother of 8 would work through his medical issues but he ended up dying on a Wednesday night at 6:32 from heart failure. I knew then, reinforced more than ever, that I would live to honor his memory and do all the things for him that he never got to accomplish, while simultaneously achieving my own goals. That was the day my life became worth living, so now I live for us both.