I was greatly upset. But then I thought again for the fortieth time, if I were sane, I wouldn't want to kill myself. The thought alone is grounds for execution. So I got the bleach and ammonia and poured them into the bucket, and breathed deep.
Not my fault it just made a stable froth with only a whiff of chlorine gas. I have an aunt in Pennsylvania who used to teach chemistry who could possibly explain what I did, but I doubt she'll talk about it to me.
Anyhow I watched the foam seep up and onto the sidewalk.
I had a lot of feelings but I wasn't anxious anymore.