"don't embarrass me"

she laughed under her breath,

"who am I kidding?

your mere presence

is an embarrassment to me."

I shrunk

shriveled collapsed into myself

invisible

invincible

"stop slouching!"

her voice stings

she is like an icy wind

everyone stands up straighter

when she walks by

"sorry."

"speak up!"

"sorry!"

"don't yell at me!!"

"sorry."

"speak up."

I know she means well

I think she means well

well...

"Don't embarrass me."

She laughed under her breath. "Who am I kidding? Your mere presence is an embarrassment to me."

I stopped sucking on my thumb and stood up a bit straighter. "Sorry, sis," I mumbled.

She flinched. "Don't call me that! I can't let my friends--Oh! Hello, Marcus." She let go of my hand and went over to talk to a tall boy, smoothing her hair all the way to him.

I frowned. Why did she care so much about this boy? Why didn't she care about me?

One of her friends, who always acted like I was some sort of baby, came over to me. "Hello!" She said in the voice Mom uses with toddlers. "How is little pumpkin doing?" She pinched my cheek so hard tears welled in my eyes. But I had learned something from living with my sister, and that is: Never cry in public.

So I had just let my frown deepen as her friend kept talking. "My mom let me borrow her baby carriage for you so we can push you around in it. How does that sound?"

'Bad,' I thought, but I did not speak up. Only bad things would come out of it.

I shrugged, and climbed into the pink, frilly carriage, despite knowing what my sister would say.

She looked over at me just as I had strapped myself in, and she snorted in disgust. "Marcus, look at my sister over there. She's such a baby."

Marcus, the boy, studied me and then rolled his eyes, like I was just some other stupid kindergardener.

My sister's friend stuck her nose in the air. 'That looks stupid,' I thought, but I was the quiet type, and too much of one to say anything out loud.

Her friend said loudly to my sister, "Your little sister is fun. She likes being in the carriage, don't you?" She glanced at me in expectation.

I shrugged again, satisfying her. "Let's go, honey," she said, and pushed my around the alley, avoiding bumps and turns.

I sighed, wishing that I had friends to play with, like my sister did. Mom never really let me do anything, because it was all my sister. Your sister this, your sister that. Never me.

I sighed again. At school, my sister's friends "played" with me at recess. All the kindergardeners were afraid of my sister's friends, because they were all bullies.

I sighed for a third time, and made a wish on a penny that I spotted in a bush.

"I wish my sister would play with me."

But above, pushing the carriage, my sister's friend said, "Aren't I good enough?"

Once again, I shrugged.

"Don't embarrass me," she laughed under her breath.

"Who am I kidding? Your mere presence is an embarrassment to me."

"Right back at ya shorty." She turned to me and we both smiled.

"Besides when have I ever embarrassed you? I probably make you look less like a fool."

She glared at me then. That glare she does when she's trying to be serious but she can't keep the corners of her mouth from curving upward.

"Yeah right. I'm the sophisticated one."

"You wish." She turned her head slightly and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Yeah yeah." She said with a defeated laugh. Rolling her eyes.

"You're giving up already? I haven't even pulled out my 'Perfect things to say to further embarrass Kat.' They're quite hilarious. Would you like to hear them?" I tried to summon up my "sophisticated" voice but she knows all I was doing was laughing on the inside.

"Come on before you embarrass yourself." She tugged on my arm to pull me into one of the shops in the mall.

"As if." We both laughed out loud that time. I put my arm in hers as if I was her escort to the ball. I leaned my head on her shoulder.

"I love you."

"I know."