Likitung - The Friendship Ender (True Story)

Back in the day, when Pokemon GO was a worldwide epidemic, I was strolling to class, dashin my pokeballs here and there, collecting pokemon everywhere.

Then from the unseen (and inexistent) bushes of my university's main foyer, I WAS ATTACKED, ambushed I was, by this hideous new pokemon: The Likitung.

Category: Licking type

Ability: Oblivious

Weight: 65kg

evolves to: Lickilicky

legitimate statistics^

actual accurate intel^

I swear^

I almost stopped dead in my tracks, my focus skyrocketed. This new challenger, the likes of which I had never seen before, had threatened my very existance. It crossed my path. So, like all great pokemon trainers, I had no choice but to trap it inside a confined spherical space, then tame and abuse its power for the greater good.

Anyway, so my finger wraps around my two dimensional Pokeball, I rev the ball downwards, almost off-the-screen in position for the throw of a lifetime-

And then my screen goes dark... and lights back up; my friend has called me at this crucial point in time, my new ugly pokemon flashes before my eyes as unachievable... I'll never get to show off his ugliness to my fellow pokepals....that is...

if I answer this call.

My phone rings again, my friend's icon smiles at me from my screen.

Do. I. Answer?

The Likitung's afterimage swoops over my ringing screen. It's so ugly. I want it so badly. *fourth ring*

No. I don't just want it, I neeed this pokemon. My friend can wait, I can sacrifice two minutes of her life before I call her back. My mind made, The screen switches back to my Lickitung. Because I will have this Lickitung! NOTHING WILL GET IN MY WAY OF OBTAINING THIS UGLY LIKITUNG!

The pokeball flew through the virtual air snatched my predator-soon-to-be-prey in a spherical shell of its demise.... Aproximately two failed attempts later and my efforts were rewarded. I achieved it. The Lickitung. The only pedophilic pokemon in the entire world. After this great achievement, I sit in the cafeteria like I always do, waiting for my dumb class to start, scrolling through my texts quickly before calling back my friend when I see the text "I see you" My eyes bulge as I check the times of this text and the call...

A one minute timeframe.

I quickly tried to call her back

*ring ring... no response

*Fourth times the charm... no response.

Fastforwarding to after my class, we finally spoke. I soon discovered that during my Lickitung battle, my friend was standing at the extremely nearby bus stop in front of the Campus. So if I were to raise my head from my phone, turn it approximately 90 degrees and look through the giant transparent glass wall of my stupid university's entrance, I would have seen my friend trying to get my attention with a phone by her ear. Instead, she witnessed my crime of ignoring her call and got depressed shortly after. I want to cry every time I think about it _(._.)_

But we made up :) I gave her a half-truth reason about anxiety for why I didn't answer, and then an entire year later I confessed to her the the real reason, but she had already forgiven me by then because that's the kind of amazing friends I have.